Husband having affair ? Or paranoia or tech reason.

[DollyPop100]

I was sending photos from husbands phone to mine via WhatsApp whilst we were at a car rally event when I noticed his most frequently sent contact on what’s app was my sister. This seemed so bizarre, I didn’t say anything but then I looked the next day and the most frequently contact was now his best friend and our neighbour which would make more sense.
I have always suspected that he cloned my phone, so can see all my history etc but never found proof as don’t know how to , so i am thinking perhaps that’s the reason the WhatsApp to my sister was my messages ? Rather than him messaging her most frequently ?
It seems so unlikely to be sending her messages or having an affair but just don’t know what to do next.

My WhatsApp doesn't show who's contacted most frequently. Are you sure that's what you're seeing?
Why do you think he would clone your phone? Does he work in tech? Surely that's not an easy thing to do.

What a sordid and sinister mess of a marriage.

I have always suspected that he cloned my phone, have always suspected that he cloned my phone, so can see all my history etc but never found proof

and you just cracked on anyway? How strange. Do people really live like this??

Yes because he works at the CIA and can clone a phone….

I thought this varied based in who you had contacted recently, so if he happened to have messaged your sister most over the last day or two, she would show up.

I have no idea about the phone cloning, but that's quite a big leap to make, suggesting other issues.

It seems quite a leap to think he and your sis are having an affair. Is there any other rEason you suspect?

and what makes you suspect him of cloning your phone?

I do think it's strange you find him cloning your phone more likely than him having an affair or inappropriate relationship with your sister OP. Perhaps I've been on MN too long.

You suspected him of cloning your phone? And stayed with him? Er ok....😱

The top chat on WhatsApp is just who has messaged/been messaged most recently. Really,if you suspected anything you should have opened his chat with your sister, provided it wasn't showing any unread messages cos they'd have then shown as being read.

Maybe.....he messaged her to discuss your Xmas present?

Surely what's app only shows who you've contacted most recently, not most overall.

I think just a bored OP who hasn’t thought carefully enough about the details before making up starting the thread

Do you mean clone? The average person cannot do that. Unless he is a hacker or works in digital forensics I really cannot see why you think that he has done that. I can't see most frequent contacts on my phone, only the latest.

Instead of messing about with his phone - why not just talk to him? I mean you should have talked to him about this clone thing in the first place surely? You sound like you don't trust him and piddling about on his phone won't help with that. You are looking for confirmation bias. Talk to the man, he's your husband.

Yes it’s the most recently contacted on WhatsApp or iMessage that will pop up first. Why do you suspect he cloned your phone?

You can put them back to Unread

@DollyPop100 why is he messaging your sister though? Is that normal/expected?

It’s not a big tech thing to clone the phone, you just create a copy (or login) on another phone … you put the two phones close to each other , super easy

@DollyPop100 did you read his what’s app at all?

You think he cloned your phone. But you've never said it to him, or reacted, just carried on? What the actual fuck? How warped is your thinking and marriage?

Why do you think he cloned your phone?

I think we need the (probably considerable) back story here OP.

I think he’s cloned your phone and is shagging your sister 🤣 this thread is not real is it?!

When I go to send something on WhatsApp, those under my “frequently contacted” are the last people I messaged. I just checked mine, and it says my SIL is one of my frequently contacted - she isn’t, not via WhatsApp anyway. We usually communicate via text but she sent me some images via WhatsApp. That’s the first time in months, so certainly not a frequent contact.

Are you talking about the “frequently contacted” list OP? If so I’ve just checked mine on WhatsApp and the people that are listed there are people I’ve contacted this week… some of them only 1 or 2 messages. They are not by any means the people I contact the most, or even the ones I have contacted most recently e.g today (One of them is a colleague who I have WhatsApp messaged about 4 times EVER, it just so happens that we messaged this week!)

Stop going on his phone.

You obviously have big issues and instead of feeling constantly paranoid, go to therapy and work on your problems.