To stop my DC from socialising with a difficult friend

[Cakerose]

Mind you these are reception age kids :)
My dc has a friend since early kindergarten that he is the most comfortable with. We started playdates when they were babies. However the kid developed to be quite aggressive and not easy to reason with. He is troublesome at school (think tearing pages from the books, hitting kids, having long crying sessions) and my kid has sort of become his emotional cushion - to the extent they are getting paired to spend time together specifically because the teachers noticed he is comforted by my kids presence.
We didn't mind much but my husband now started being really strict about not wanting to have anything to do with this kid - no playdates, even avoiding similar pick up times. He says he doesn't want our child miss out on creating new bonds and meeting new friends because a child that is the most problematic one is always tagging along.
While I think he is overreacting a bit - they are so young and I always considered this kid's emotional state a phase - it's really not improving much.
I feel ridiculous even writing about this - they are so young, so I am curious what people think about this.
Not to mention that I don't even know where to start with creating that distance. They are at the same school now and it is quite a usual thing for me and the mum to meet up with the kids every other weekend or so... She is also a lovely and a kind lady.

Encourage your DS to have a range of friends. It sounds as if his current friend is monopolising him who I is to be discouraged.

It’s a sad situation, the poor lad obviously has some problems and it’s great he’s got your son as a friend. It’s not good if your son is being isolated though. It’s a tricky one, I always think what would I do if it was the other way around and that usually gives me an answer.

Sounds to me

Your DH is putting his son first and there’s nothing wrong with that. It is important for DS not to become trapped in by this friendship. But since DS likes this boy I would try and tamp things down rather than cutting him out completely. I’d start by talking to the school about not using DS as emotional support for the other kid. That is completely inappropriate. If he isn’t being forced into it at school it gives you more scope to have the boy over for the occasional play date but mix in plenty of other kids for play dates too. Every other weekend seems reasonable so long as DS is seeing 2 or 3 other kids in between.

Your son shouldn't be used by the teacher as emotional support for this child to keep him calm - you need to speak to the teacher about that. Encourage your son to form other friendships and invite a variety of them to playdates. It's much better to encourage lots of friends at this age rather than one intense friendship.

He’s probably a bit concerned that your son is being used as an emotional support tool to keep this child calm. It might be ok now, while he’s still young and happy to do it, (assuming you’ve asked him how he feels about it) but what’s going to happen when he wants some freedom and independence but everyone has his presence ingrained in them as a way to deal with this child?

I think you’re being a bit shortsighted.