To want to start a new job with an open heart and mind after a difficult experience with a previous employer?

[ThisLimeMoose]

I’ve recently been offered a new job which I’m absolutely delighted about. It’s a relatively senior role within a well-established charity, and after a fairly lengthy period out of work, it feels like a real turning point for me.

For context, I previously worked for an organisation where I experienced discrimination, and the situation ultimately ended in a financial settlement and my departure. It was a deeply unpleasant experience and although I’m pleased that I stood up for myself, I can’t pretend it didn’t affect me professionally or personally.

I’ve been out of work for quite some time since my last role ended, and the job search has been challenging at times. I’ve had to deal with the uncertainty of unemployment, the knock to my confidence and the general frustration of knowing that I have a great deal to offer professionally but not having the opportunity to demonstrate it.

Then this opportunity came along.

From the outset, I’ve had a really positive impression of the organisation and the people I’ve met throughout the recruitment process. I had two interviews, both of which went well, and was subsequently offered the position. I was particularly touched to hear that they’d felt I was the right person for the role from the first interview.

I’m genuinely excited about the work, the people, the organisation’s values and the prospect of getting back into a professional environment where I can contribute, develop and hopefully thrive.

But there’s a small part of me that’s conscious of how my previous experiences might shape the way I approach this new chapter.

I don’t want to go in suspicious of people, looking for problems or expecting history to repeat itself. Equally, I’m not naive enough to think that every workplace is perfect or that a positive recruitment experience necessarily guarantees a positive working environment.

I want to be able to give people the benefit of the doubt, build good professional relationships, enjoy my work and allow myself to be excited about what lies ahead without feeling that I constantly have to protect myself.

I also don’t want what happened with my previous employer to become the defining story of my professional life.

So, AIBU to consciously approach this new role with an open heart and mind, rather than carrying the baggage of previous experiences into it?

And for anyone who’s had a particularly difficult experience with an employer, especially involving discrimination, bullying or a settlement, how did you approach starting somewhere new? Did you find it easy to trust again or did it take time?

I would say take the lessons learned from your last experience and remember that all employees are dispensable commodities to employers and in the nicest possible way, you don’t and never will matter to them outside of performance and behaviour.

This is particularly relevant in the charity sector where you often can fall foul of caring too much and the boundaries become somewhat blurred.

Keep your professional life in context: it is a job, not your identity and make sure you get what you need from it, not vice versa.

I moved jobs after horrific bullying, financial settlement with old employer after long term stress related absence. I was very conscious of the loss of confidence and my determination not to fall into the same trap twice. I also wanted to give the new role a good chance.

What helped was building a good relationship with my new manager very quickly, being clear about my boundaries and how much I was prepared to go over and above, being quietly assertive where I needed to be. I was also very aware of the potential to see bumps along the way as bigger than they were, because of my previous experience. Having a good professional friend helped because I could sense check things I was unsure of outside my workplace - which helped me avoid panic and over reaction.

Even with all that in place it took a good while for me to feel settled and confident in my abilities again. Good luck, try to trust the good feeling you have about the new place, and your own abilities.

Be positive and open,but not too open.
Keep professional boundaries with your colleagues at all times.
Enjoy your new role.