Does anyone think they DONT have ADHD?

[Frenchtoastie]

I keep seeing posts on instagram with various reasons why someone has ADHD and then hundreds of comments below reporting these people also have all of these symptoms.
Just wondering if anyone reads these and doesn’t relate to them? To me they are just part of being human, but maybe I am completely wrong and I have ADHD🤣

the posts generally include statement along these lines…

• I find it hard to get going or impossible to stop
• I can put off a tiny task for weeks but worry about it for hours but when I finally complete it it takes 5 minutes
• I can distracted and start cleaning after the shower and suddenly I’ve cleaned the whole house whilst wearing my towel
• Having a chair covered in clothes
• having multiple drinks on the go in the house
• needing a calender because if not I would forget appointments

Me, and other half. However I see posts all the time about being autistic, if I took them at face value I would think I was, I am not, I have a tendency to be anxious/an over thinker and there are it seems, many similarities.

How would you know though exactly what their lives were and what they have gone through? Even if you’re extremely close, especially if you express those opinions in real life too.

I definitely wouldn’t tell you that I was abandoned at birth, or that my adoptive mother was abusive (emotionally and physically) , or about my several sexual assaults, some from family members, or the self harm, or the suicidal ideations. So all you’d see is the functional adult , with a job, a home, a family. People who lived through it all with me didn’t want to see it, why would you?

Well it is for reasons like that this that screeners are only a starting point and a lot of diagnosticians send out questionnaires with open-ended questions.

And another thing …… my OH has recently been assessed for adhd and autism - I have no doubt he will be diagnosed, do I think he needs to be? No! He’s lived 40yrs unscathed with out having a diagnosis. Yes he’s struggled with things, yes he’s made life mistakes but don’t we all? The biggest thing that has changed since he’s got on this ‘bandwagon’ (yes I’m not afraid to say that) is the excuses, the criticism I get for not doing things in a certain way because he needs me too because of his autism, the fact he can’t do things because of his ADHD, the stress he’s had with work because they ‘aren’t seeing he has a disability’ - I’m exhausted with it all!
id rather we go back to the usual annoying things he does because ….. well he’s a bloke! And men and women do things differently. I’d rather he get annoyed with me because I do things a certain way that annoys him and that’s just facts rather than it’s ME that has no consideration for his ‘disability’ 🤬

I think anyone could be diagnosed with it if they wanted to be.

They still weren't as busy as the majority of people nowadays in the developed world. Basic human needs were met then, with none of the extras.
To add to that here is a book called "Stolen Focus" and it looks at modern day life and how it is stealing our focus. I found it a very interesting read.

I don’t actually make it to that part. Maybe one day.

It's really not that hard just to be organised.

I am asked whether I have ADHD at least every few months. I definitely don't. I keep frenetically busy to try to hold my MH problems at arm's length. I'm also quick, and efficient. Occasionally, people suggest autism too. I don't have it - I'm shy, unusually
hardworking, and collect niche interests.

Now somebody is probably going to tell me that's even more reason why I have one/ both!

I am very likely to have ADHD due to life experiences and the executive dysfunction I suffer from. But it annoys me to no end when I hear people use it in everyday speech.

Wake up at 4 and start the fire, start breakfast, bake some bread , pack food for the day, tend to the animals . Start work at 6 , often hard , physical work. If you’re lucky, you might be done at 6, but highly unrealistic. Home to do chores, tend to animals, garden ,no washing machine, no dishwasher, no running water , toilet is an outhouse, no hoover nothing. Clean, cook, tend to everything, mend what needs mending, eat, wash (in a tub with water heated on the stove) , crash at 10 o’clock. Rinse and repeat.

Have you ever lived with absolutely no mod cons? Even for a day?

What helps me to know is to look at the effects of my symptoms on my everyday life. So for me, I struggle to regulate my emotions at times and I struggle with friendships. Niche interests by themselves don’t mean ASD/ADHD. People have their reasons for liking things.

Jeez.

For me it would be over.

Not wasting a minute of my life pandering to high need adults.
Got my life to live.

A lot of people have ADHD like a lot of people have blood pressure issues. Only difference is ADHD was an ignored area, because most symptoms are not physical, these people were called lazy etc. Their jobs, relationships were impacted. It’s good that there’s an awareness about it and life any other ignored condition, this needs awareness and that happens with people sharing their experiences.

What’s your issue if those struggling with these issues can speak about it and feel better by connecting with others?
You don’t have ADHD or you prefer to stay silent when you struggle, that doesn’t mean others have to do the same.

Yes, CPTSD can present similarly to ADHD/ASD, but because the mental health services are stretched thin, people assume that it has to be one of the latter because it’s what is most commonly talked about.

Anyone can THINK they have ADHD but that doesnt make it true. I think it is flippant to say "being a bit disorganised" is ADHD or that people think that means ADHD.

I have a diagnosis and every area of my life is impacted. Maintaining friendships has been nearly impossible , I rely on partner to get anything household related done, I havr had complaints at work for impulsiveness, I dont get tasks done until I am on verge of being disciplined.

Plus the shame of not being what people demand of me (attentive, organised, meeting potential, flighty etc). It is never ending.

Systems are not designed for people with my wiring. In a world of bureaucracy my brain is always on the verge of giving it all up.

If I have unstimulating tasks it isnt just "cant get going". It is like a glass window that I mentally hit. I know I need to do the tasks but trying to activate to do feels impossible. I fall into self critical patterns. It carries anxiety that I havent done something and I frequently second guess myself.

At the same time I am funny, engaging, caring. I get things done on a deadline and I thrive on fast paced, critical jobs. My mind filters out nonsense, getting straight to the issue. So it isnt all bad, but I would prefer not to have this.

Me! Im quite disorganised, often procrastinate at work, lose focus/get distracted if stuff is boring. I interrupt people.

Dont we all?

I dont have adhd, because I got through school and uni & am a successful adult with a good job. Therefore the things above obviously arent impairing me that much, they are just very common character traits.

“I dont have adhd, because I got through school and uni & am a successful adult with a good job. Therefore the things above obviously arent impairing me that much, they are just very common character traits.”

Describes my husband - academic model pupil as a kid, currently a top earner in senior management career. Yet lots of traits and diagnosed in late 40’s.

Is this rage bait or something? Of course it’s hard if you have ADHD.

It”s really not that hard just to be organised if you don’t find it hard to be organised.

Otherwise, it really can be that hard, Particularly if you suffer from ADHD.

I find it so bizarre when people think the situation in their own little life extrapolates to all. The wait for an NHS ADHD assessment in my London Trust is currently 3-4y. Do you genuinely think it’s ten weeks everywhere?!

It's also when 'my adhd' becomes the default for everything. No one need ever take any accountability. So whose needs win?

I have a friend who is clearly adhd. She cba sending typed messages, so will ramble voice notes. But I cba to listen to voice notes, because I can skim read much faster. Who needs to bend?

OCD, then 😆

I am a psychologist and I do ADHD assessments, plus I have adhd myself, relatively recently diagnosed.

I do have most of what you described , but it’s more nuanced than that. One example might be that I avoid to start almost all activities in my life, to the point where I have almost lost jobs, had substantial late fines, missed critical deadlines despite being a doctor and high achieving in most other aspects on my life. In order to be given a diagnosis, pervasive difficulties over time need to be proven (including difficulties noticed by others in childhood). In order to receive a diagnosis, as an assessor you have to provide clear evidence on how the difficulties impact on the persons day to day life in a substantial way. Without that, you cannot give a diagnosis. That usually cuts out a fair amount of people who have some of the symptoms. My understanding as a clinician is that I’m looking for a pervasive pattern of difficulties over time, and that the criteria in isolation are likely to be met by a lot of people, but can often be explained by something else. In my opinion the issue is with some people who assess, and this includes some right to choose providers, who just don’t have the right skillset or expertise to make a judgement on whether the pervasive element of the diagnosis is met, which then leads to possible over diagnosis in some scenarios. Having said that, a big review just came out which did find that we’re still under-diagnosing overall.

Also just to say, move to right to choose, those waits are not 3-4 years. Obviously depending on which private services are commissioned by the nhs it will impact the wait, but you realistically wouldn’t be waiting more than 9 months on right to choose. I run an nhs pathway and that is a ridiculously long waiting list even by nhs standards, and I also work in London.