Husband off with me after I told him school dad tried it on

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I shared with dh that a dad from my children’s school tried it on with me. I never hesitated in sharing this. I have categorically never given this man any signs I was interested. As I’m not. We became friends as our sons are best friends. I am a SAHM and he is self employed. He tried it on when he came to pick up his child from my house.

Dh was obviously not happy but was appreciative I shared the info. But since telling him he has become very distant. Twice I’ve tried to cuddle up and he’s feigned being too busy.

I have never been inclined to be unfaithful. I just don’t have that in me.

Im now hurt by his treatment!

Have you spoken to him about it since?

That’s ridiculous! A man I didn’t even know tried it on with me at a wedding, he followed me when I went to put my 3 month baby to sleep! Luckily he took no for an answer, but what on earth possessed him to! I told my husband, he was sympathetic, we put it out of our minds. He will have forgotten all about it now, it was many years ago. No way was he upset with me !

The day it happened we probably had a 30 min conversation. And maybe a two min conversation the day after as I had sent a text to the school dad asking he keep his distance from now on (I was due to see him at a club our sons both attend).

Husband is off and it’s really upset me. I would’ve expected far more support

Sounds like this has sparked some dormant or hidden fears from your dh.

He should be giving you the benefit of the doubt, but likely he suspects you encouraged the friendship as you felt the spark of mutual attraction. Maybe he was unhappy all along about you making friends with a single dad, but didn't know how to express this without sounding like a jealous arse, and now his fears are materialising?

Tough, as I'm a strong believer in men and women having platonic friendships, but strong boundaries are needed, and he likely feels yours weren't strong enough else this guy wouldn't have tried it on.

Think you two need a proper sit down and chat about it, and how you both see future new friendships and how to manage them to avoid this sort of thing.

Also, now he's played his hand, I don't think it would be fair to your DH if you keep a friendship with this guy.

You need to talk to him about him being off with you. There could be another explanation for it.

I really can’t of another reason tbh. We usually have a great relationship

I never gave any indication to the school dad I was interested. I told dh rhis

Why don’t you ask him instead of asking mumsnet?

He's a man. I think a lot of men are only friends with women they are attracted to. And they think women are the same. They don't realise a lot of women are the opposite and will only be friends with men they are not actually attracted to!
And also he will think you did something to encourage it ..typical blaming the woman! 😠

That’s jealousy, this reaction. You do need to talk to him though.

Talk to him OP. Weird behaviour from him.

And is he going to say anything to this bloke?

Because he may think you encouraged him.

Most people judge by their own standards. In the words of MN, You have a DH problem.

There is tried it on and tried it on. Did he ask you out? Did he try to kiss you? Quite different imagery from a male partner's perspective - especially one that may have self-esteem issues or view the other male in question as fitter/more appealing to women.

I wouldn't be with a bloke who didn't believe me when I said I had no interest in a bloke who tried it on with me.

The default should of course be that you're faithful and you told DH as soon as it happened. And distanced yourself from him. So OP's done nothing wrong.

No I agree but she asked for possible explanations. This could be one. I don’t think it’s right.