Am I overreacting about DS’ health?

[PunchSide]

DS13 (soon to be 14) still looks really similar to what he looked like 2 years ago. Not much change in appearance, no voice cracks or anything, not even much BO. His dad (we are seperated) has him once every two weeks for a weekend but they aren’t close, I mentioned it to him and he said I was overreacting (his usual attitude towards me). I am worried that puberty hasn’t seemed to start yet is this normal still? Am I valid to be stressing a bit? Then last Thursday he said he has been having boy issues that I feel like could be related.

ever since my mum died I feel like my health anxiety has gone up so I don’t want to jump the gun and get doctors visits in etc and then start worrying him unless it is needed

Have you read the NHS page on delayed puberty? Start there. Don't be afraid to ask the GP, you could just say to your DS it's time for a check on height and growth in general.

Boys vary wildly when they reach puberty.
I have two boys two years apart. Age ten they looked identical.
My DS1 was fully into puberty aged 11. 6' tall and size ten feet at primary school.
DS2 was almost 16;when he started, first with the proverbial growth spurt and then all the rest.
No need to be concerned at all yet OP.

I have yeah honestly it worries me more

Wow I thought my son was tall being 6 foot at 14. 6 foot in primary is wild.

OP, there’s no harm in checking. My son started puberty early but some of his friends have been much later. Some still look 11/12, others are starting to grow and change now. So I would imagine he is totally fine but I understand the worry. Boys seem to change at totally different times and over quite a wide range of ages compared to girls.

Thank you, yeah I have read it varied wildly. I just wonder if the other issue he has is linked to it

13 even 14 is not super old for boys to start to go through puberty, it happens a lot later compared to girls. Boys can grow until they’re 18 or even older too.
Not sure what you mean by “boy issues”?
Why don’t you measure his height now and then in another 6 months to check he’s grown? If he hasn’t and still not showing any signs of puberty you could take him to the GP then just to check his hormone levels.

I also have a 13, almost 14 year old boy who recently went on camp. When I picked him up, the difference in boys in this year group is stark - there are 6ft tall men and small boys who could pass for junior kids. My son is well into puberty with spots, BO and a big growth spurt but a couple of his friends are way shorter with clear faces and skinny bodies.

It depends on a lot of things. When my older son was this age it was the same but he’s 16 now and they all look like young men.

What’s the other issue? I don’t understand the inference

By the other issue I meant he has an issue with his privates, I didn’t want to say on a public forum. It involves foreskin

They are all so different. One of my GSs was in full flow by 12; the other (the older one) was getting on for 17 before it all kicked off - but he is now singing bass.

Yup I’m another one with one son whose voice broke in year 10 and a second son whose voice broke in year 7. It varies so massively. With DS1 I remember googling frantically as I thought it would never happen for him but it did in the end. Try not to stress!

My DS is exactly this age. Fairly tall - about 5 ft 6 inches - but he has always been one of the tallest in his class. Definite has acne and some pubic hair. No voice cracking yet, nor for any of his friends. Certainly no sign of needing to shave. I’d say he’s just at the start of puberty.

What signs cane first for him?

For my son the first signs were bo. My other son, some spots. Both got their first pubes around 13. Height boost came for number one age 14-15 and second one 12-13.

Both my DS had foreskin that were to tight- operated at 7 and 9 years. He needs to get a referral from his dr.

Also, my ds13 looks very young, he's quite short and looking at him or hearing him you wouldn't think he's in puberty (except pimples) but dh told me that he was astonished to see that he had a full set of black hair on his privates so def puberty.

If he had an issue with his foreskin and is already receiving medical care, then perhaps ask the treating doctor to review his growth. If he isn't receiving care for that issue, then presumably he should be and then you could also ask that question?

The foreskin issue is fairly recent so we haven’t been the GP about it yet. I know he doesn’t have any pubic hair

Perfect opportunity then. Make an appt to discuss that issue, and I'm sure the doctor will let you know if they're horrified by any lack of puberty. You can also ask them to review height:/ weight.

Erm, yes, take him to the docs about the foreskin. Then ask about puberty.

i agree, though, about the differences in boys at this age. My son plays football and there are what look like fully grown men playing with little boys (all in the under 15 teams).