Can we afford a third DC

[Thebestdaysofourlife]

DH and I are thinking of trying for a third baby. We have two DCs currently aged 2 and 3, almost 4. Both in our late thirties so don’t want to leave it too much longer before trying.

With 2 DCs we are comfortable, I work 4 days per week, we shop a lot of second hand and try to save money where we can eg free activities, packed lunches when we go out. We have about £5k spare after bills mortgage nursery etc and we have a decent amount of savings.

I know the baby years are cheap and everyone says teens cost a fortune. Would you think we can afford a third in this scenario?

Yes you can afford it. I assume you have sufficient bedrooms and a car that’d fit a third?

A spare 5k a month? Do your current children cost you 5k each a month?

I think smaller kids are just as expensive as teens if you have to pay out for childcare?

We found toddlers and the university years the most expensive.

You have 5k a month left after paying the bills? Of course you can afford it.

Sorry, I misread the £5k as your whole income.
You are being ridiculous , of course you can afford a third child, unless you are factoring in Eton for schooling?

If you have £5k per month spare then unless you’re planning on sending them all to private school you’ll be ok 🫣

why a third tho? Three teenagers and three sets of uni fees will be brutal
the world is built for two adults and two kids - new car will be needed for example
What if the third is twins

No we don’t plan to send them to private school, our house has 4 bedrooms but we might need a bigger car. We both have two siblings so 3 is what we’re used to!

With a spare 5k a month- yes you can afford it. Do you have a 4 bed house? We have 3, they are all teens now, they are more expensive as they get older but we are happy with our choices!

Are you taking the piss?

You must be taking the piss asking this question. Nobody can be so out of touch with reality, when they’re already living on the planet.

you do realise that £5k "spare" a month is more than most people have as their income?? if you can't afford a 3rd I don't know who can!

I assume they mean a spare 5k in a year. Not per month.

I do sometimes wonder about the assumption regarding all kids going to uni when there are so many graduates who can't find work, has been the case for so long, and there's no guarantee this will be completely different in 10-15 years time.

Another wildly out of touch poster “I have more than most people’s entire household income left over after bills and stacks of savings, can I afford a third child?” Of course you can stop being ridiculous, or did you just want to show off your wealth?

It’s not normal to plan to pay for your child’s uni fees. Most people utilise the student loan system, it’s not America.

It’s a “how long is a piece of string” question. On the face of it you have a comfortable life with lower stress than many. You can afford the extra financial cost that a third child would bring. However, as someone whose dc was unexpectedly born with a congenital difference, I’m acutely aware of how easy it would be to have a child with life-altering additional needs; and because I work in therapeutic education, I know what a toll that can take on a family, so my perspective is more gloomy than many would be.

I’d say look, you have a beautiful family and more than enough materially; why roll the dice again?

Then there’s the climate crisis, rise of far right across the globe. Cost of living. Possibility of one of you being unable to work. Nothing is guaranteed.

£5k a year or £5k a month?

😂

To be honest I’d give them a couple of years in state school before you rule out private.

The money seems a non issue here OP. I would look at the other logistics. Its also hard because your DC are not at school yet so factor in school runs, school holidays. MAT leave. How does your DH feel?

Jesus - read the god damn room OP. £5k a month spare - and you wonder if you can afford it - do you only shop at harrods and eat caviar with every meal? Only travel via private jets? If so - then no, you cannot afford it. If not - then yes, i think, THINK, you will be fine. But youre on the wind up so...

Is this a wind up ?.

You are out of touch with reality 🙄
You have to be taking the piss, of course in your 4 bedroom house with 5k a month you can afford a 3rd child if you so wish.

On top of maintenance and student loan we have having to subsidise £850 per month for one dc as the maintenance doesn’t cover rent (covers just over half with a 4k gap and then they need food on top).

I don't think the criticism from others is fair but your post is perhaps worded clumsily. You can afford 3 children, many have 3 with much less money left over , including me! What I would say is to consider the lifestyle you want to give them so softplay for a family of 5, cinema etc is more expensive. Often family deals are 2 parents, 2 kids or 1 parent 3 kids. It sounds like a little thing but it does add up. We get around it by using my blue light discount wherever possible, taking our own snacks to the cinema and with softplay we only really tend to go in winter months. Holidays will be more expensive as at some point you need 2 hotel rooms. We accept this and go for hotels with larger family rooms, interconnecting rooms or get a villa. I didn't have a holiday abroad every year and don't believe it is a necessity but you might feel differently? Would you want to pay for driving lessons and or cars for 3? What about uiversity, yes children can get loans but dependent on parental income there is often a shortfall that parents are expected to cover. Can you afford that for all 3?

I have 3 and money is just one factor. 3 kids are more draining than 2 physically, mentally and emotionally. It's 3 sets of homework to remember, 3 teachers to liase with, 3 kids with different interests you have to ferry about. I have to work hard to make sure I get one on one time with each child as this is important to me. The mental load really is a thing and it does increase with each child as it's another person's needs that have to be met and considered and a schedule to consider.

There is a 5 year age gap between my eldest and youngest and I wouldn't choose to have an age gap any larger. You work 4 days a week but I just wouldn't achieve a home worklife balance that is acceptable to me working so many days so I work 2 sometimes 3. I'd consider this as you might well want to reduce your hours or get a cleaner (if you don't have already).

My mil would offer to babysit (rarely) when I had 2 as they were close in age and it was easy enough to care for them and meet their needs as they were largely the same. She no longer offers as we have 3 because the youngest is at a different stage so it's harder work. That's not a problem for us but not everyone sees it like that. To be fair you can afford a sitter and may already use one.

In summary I would say consider the long term financial implications but also the practical and emotional impact it is likely to have on your existing family.