My DH is awful at DIY how do I stop him

[AutumnBarbie]

How do I stop my DH doing DIY?
He works in a trade and he is brilliant at it but they aren't transferable skills.
The sky light was leaking on one side, he fixed it and now it's leaking on two sides and even worse on the original side.
If I try to ask him to stop doing DIY he acts like a wounded animal.
Help.

*edited to add that after he did DIY the roof is leaking worse.

I think you have to tell him, not ask him and ignore the wounded animal act! It must be costing you fortune!

Get a professional in before he gets his tools out. Always be one step ahead of him. Spot things, sort things!

Give him a list of jobs to do at MILs house 😂. She’ll love her son no matter how rubbish the outcome is.

Just tell him he's rubbish at it and point out the things he's made worse. No other option.

Get him to call a professional. Every time he messes up, make him get someone else in to fix it. Or insist he take some classes to learn other skills.

No MIL for him unfortunately but I like your thinking.

I pulled him up tonight about the sky light and he really went to bed like a wounded animal. I'm on MN and listening to drip drip drip drip drip...

IDK but there is someone DH knows who is like this and for some unfathomable reason he has started a youtube channel and puts all of his DIY fails and what he clearly thinks are wins on there.

It's like watching a car crash in slow motion, I am waiting for the lawsuit where they use the channel as evidence 😬

Tell him to grow up and stop the passive aggressive whining. You aren't there to massage his ego.

My late OH used to be like this back in the days when we drove very old cars and couldn't really afford proper garages for repairs. If he 'had a go' and then had to take it to the garage we often had to pay to have his 'work' undone and then pay for the repair.

He didn't whine, he just said I'll have another look at the weekend and then went to bed with head bowed.

He is trying to "save us money".

Well that's manipulative behaviour anyway. He's just trying to make you feel guilty. Looks like it's working.

Surely he can see for himself that the leak has got worse?

Have you tried the "oh love, you gave it a decent go, but I think we need to get someone in" approach?

It would annoy the hell out of me, but softly, softly catchy monkey might work better than "Jesus Mike! You've made a fucking pig's ear of that, again!" Not saying you were like that, of course.

Bless him, he wants to be your hero but he hasn't got the chops. Tell him you didn't marry him for his DIY skills.

Research how to fix it and fix it with him? Hassle for you yes but it should get the jobs done.

What is his trade? There can be / is a hierarchy in the trades so he could be trying to make up at home. Also my dad is in a trade and he is good at DiY if you do it with him otherwise he always does a cheap job to “save me money” when it’s the actual labour that is the issue not the materials.

Also one last thing is I, as a man would by no means describe myself as the alpha type pretty much the opposite however I really don’t like workmen in my house. I feel as though I should be able to do it even though I don’t want to kill my family by messing with gas or electric. It’s weird I don’t ’ understand it I maybe need to find a female tradeswoman to see if that feels different but just thought I’d share that gem .

30 years ago, we got our first dishwasher.
Dh said he'd fit it.
I suggested, airily, that it would be good to get a professional quote, to see how much we were saving.
The fellow came, and I pointed out what my Dh was going to do.
"Hmm", he said, " That's the gas pipe".
Dh has never suggested doing anything more than a little gentle wood-sawing since.

I took my husband out to the pub, and after the first pint told him it had to stop. I used his last achievements to demonstrate the problem, and tbh he was fully aware so it wasn't as hard as expected.

We also agreed on 1 project he could focus on that was not urgent or disruptive.

Over 50 years ago my neighbour invited me round for coffee and, as she said, Dutch courage! They had a newish washing machine that needed plumbing in, this was before the days of plastic fittings which make the job quite easy, then it needed a lot of soldering! She had got fed up of her husband putting it off so she turned off the water and sawed through a pipe under the sink! 'He'll bloody have to sort it now!', her husband was a plumber, busy fitting other, paying, people's washing machines!

Fix it yourself . No reason you can’t learn ?

First of all it wasn't my washing machine! Dealing with copper pipes and brass fittings that needed soldering wasn't for the enthusiastic amateur!