To just give up trying???

[KPlum2222]

I have a brother who’s 18 months older who iv never been particularly closed too, he’s been married 10 years and I now have 2 nieces (4 and 7). We don’t see a lot of each other due to different shift patterns and not much effort from their side. I use to be quite generous at Xmas/ birthdays for my nieces but fed of buying nice things like Lego, dolls etc never getting a thank you and my son (who’s 9) never being asked what he wanted but bought a load of cheap crap from Aldi toy section. I messaged over the summer saying I wanted to stop the gift giving due to never knowing what to buy and pointless giving £10 to receive £10 back. My SIL piped up and said but they like your gifts and we’ll have to make up the shortfall if you don’t get them anything?! I stuck to what I said and got no response. I have since sent 2 messages asking does the kids fancy a sleepover at my mums with my son who’s closest to their eldest, the message got read but no response, then a week later I sent another message asking did they want to have a day out somewhere at the weekend again read but no response?! Thinking should I just give up for trying cause it’s seems to be a one way street in effort here

Leave it. The ball is in their court now.

I have seen my oldest brother once in 4 years. I haven't spoken a single word to his wife for the entire 4 years. I live 10 minutes drive away from them. If my mother didn't still have contact with him he could literally die and I wouldn't know. I no longer care. It isn't compulsory to keep in touch with people just because you share the same mother.

Are they a lot worse off, financially, than you? The reaction to your stopping presents message was bizarre, but if you are significantly better off I don't think I'd have the heart to stop the presents.
With regards to arranging meet ups have you tried messaging your brother or just his wife?
If both fail to respond I'd leave the ball in their court.

No they have better paid jobs than me and my partner. Yes I have messaged my brother but get no response.

I think what you did was unfair to the kids as they probably loved receiving a gift from you. The parents are obviously both CF’s so in your position I’d have switched to similar Aldi gifts and still exchanged them. Never mind if they’re so petty that they won’t speak to you again, it is a shame for their kids but realistically the little apples won’t fall far from the tree when they’re older

It is sad that you don’t have the relationship with them that you would like. Let it go, as hard as it is to let go.
Spend time with your DS, buy him extra presents for his birthday and encourage his friends to visit. He doesn’t need a one way cousin relationship, when they’re teenagers they’ll reconnect on SM.