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SIL not letting her siblings see their father's will

33 replies

Crabbyoldgrandma · 21/10/2026 22:04

MIL died, BIL is sole executor, he was the only one living near him. Siblings are instructed by him to help with getting her estate ready for probate etc but they have no idea what the will says. Surely it is permissible to share the will's contents contents with his siblings?

OP posts:
Missohnoyoubetterdont · 21/10/2026 22:09

It’s entirely up to the executor I think. So he can choose not to if he so wishes, it becomes completely public once probate is granted. Is there any reason he would show his siblings? Are you a sibling?

LizandDerekGoals · 21/10/2026 22:09

Not until probate

Shinyandnew1 · 21/10/2026 22:10

Who are you talking about-sister in law? Son in law? Brother in law?

Is the executor refusing to share the contents or do they not know either?

Ineffable23 · 21/10/2026 22:10

LizandDerekGoals · 21/10/2026 22:09

Not until probate

It's permissible before probate, though probably not obligatory.

Ohthatsabitshit · 21/10/2026 22:10

It will be on line when it’s sorted.

LizandDerekGoals · 21/10/2026 22:14

Ineffable23 · 21/10/2026 22:10

It's permissible before probate, though probably not obligatory.

Which was the question…

ShanghaiDiva · 21/10/2026 22:14

Crabbyoldgrandma · 21/10/2026 22:04

MIL died, BIL is sole executor, he was the only one living near him. Siblings are instructed by him to help with getting her estate ready for probate etc but they have no idea what the will says. Surely it is permissible to share the will's contents contents with his siblings?

They can share it, but are not legally obliged to.

Crabbyoldgrandma · 21/10/2026 22:18

Brother in law

OP posts:
ShanghaiDiva · 21/10/2026 22:23

Crabbyoldgrandma · 21/10/2026 22:18

Brother in law

You may wish to remind bil that as a non executor you are not obliged to help get the estate ready and he doesn’t need to issue any instructions to help!

justasking111 · 21/10/2026 22:24

I know an executor who after ten years has still not settled probate. The children know that their late parent had made a Will that they were beneficiaries but until the executor dies it won't be settled and they can't see the will apparently. There may be nothing left by then

ShanghaiDiva · 21/10/2026 22:34

justasking111 · 21/10/2026 22:24

I know an executor who after ten years has still not settled probate. The children know that their late parent had made a Will that they were beneficiaries but until the executor dies it won't be settled and they can't see the will apparently. There may be nothing left by then

They could apply to the court to have the executor removed due to excessive delay in administering the estate- although this is no doubt not a cheap process. What an upsetting situation for the children.

Imseriouslyyouguys · 21/10/2026 22:42

ShanghaiDiva · 21/10/2026 22:23

You may wish to remind bil that as a non executor you are not obliged to help get the estate ready and he doesn’t need to issue any instructions to help!

Came to say the same thing. They want your help, they share the information. Give and take.

justasking111 · 21/10/2026 22:43

ShanghaiDiva · 21/10/2026 22:34

They could apply to the court to have the executor removed due to excessive delay in administering the estate- although this is no doubt not a cheap process. What an upsetting situation for the children.

They've spoken to the solicitor who said that they can't do anything about it. I agree with you have them removed.

JustNodSmileAgree · 21/10/2026 23:38

They can access after probate.

It is the Executor’s role to carry out the Will, the siblings actually do not have to help in any way. They will still get their share whether they help or not. As he’s not forthcoming will the Will’s details, I’d leave him to it (it’s no easy task!). If he doesn’t follow the Will to the letter, he can be prosecuted.

justasking111 · 22/10/2026 00:11

JustNodSmileAgree · 21/10/2026 23:38

They can access after probate.

It is the Executor’s role to carry out the Will, the siblings actually do not have to help in any way. They will still get their share whether they help or not. As he’s not forthcoming will the Will’s details, I’d leave him to it (it’s no easy task!). If he doesn’t follow the Will to the letter, he can be prosecuted.

If there's anything left.

JustNodSmileAgree · 22/10/2026 00:18

justasking111 · 22/10/2026 00:11

If there's anything left.

Edited

No that’s not correct. The Will becomes public after probate and you can request a copy (may have to purchase), at this point you can clearly see if the Will has been followed. It’s a legal requirement for the Executor to carry it out as stipulated and in the best interests of all beneficiaries.

All this usually happens within 12 months.

Only once probate takes place can funds be used / distributed. I would seek to prosecute the Executor if this doesn’t happen.

justasking111 · 22/10/2026 00:22

JustNodSmileAgree · 22/10/2026 00:18

No that’s not correct. The Will becomes public after probate and you can request a copy (may have to purchase), at this point you can clearly see if the Will has been followed. It’s a legal requirement for the Executor to carry it out as stipulated and in the best interests of all beneficiaries.

All this usually happens within 12 months.

Only once probate takes place can funds be used / distributed. I would seek to prosecute the Executor if this doesn’t happen.

Unfortunately the executor has very poor health and is behaving very deviously. I'm not sure if there's not some mental health issues m

Mrsbirdwatcher · 22/10/2026 00:23

Morally I think the SIL is wrong, she has a choice and limiting siblings access seems very controlling

GasPanic · 22/10/2026 11:52

justasking111 · 22/10/2026 00:22

Unfortunately the executor has very poor health and is behaving very deviously. I'm not sure if there's not some mental health issues m

This is weird though.

Look up "executors year".

Although it's not set in stone and timescales can vary depending on estate complexity there are generally accepted timescales/guidelines for bringing these sorts of issues to resolution.

AFAIK "a decade" is not one of them and would not be looked on favourably at all in a dispute.

I suspect there is a lack of will to do anything here, rather than there is nothing that can actually be done.

DontEatTheMushies · 22/10/2026 13:08

I don't understand executors that don't share the details tbh. I was executor for both my parents and my sis and i both had seen the will directly after as the solicitor shared it with both of us.

If you are really worried there seems to be something called a Larke v Nugus request, where you request info from the solicitor that drafted the will.

However, given that they are actively involving the siblings is positive, as that means they are ALL involved and accountable for certain areas I assume? Ultimately executor will sign to notify banks, and all those things, but if everyone is sorting through emails, physical items that's not too sus.

They might not be sharing it as there is an instruction not to, or there is a sensitive matter to the allocation that would delay the process if its highlighted now.

Picksnumb · 22/10/2026 13:15

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RVectensian · 22/10/2026 13:16

I would question why he doesn't want to show it ...

Screamingabdabz · 22/10/2026 13:18

Not all estates need probate.

Shinyandnew1 · 22/10/2026 13:20

Crabbyoldgrandma · 21/10/2026 22:18

Brother in law

So is he the executor but it’s SIL who isn’t telling people the contents? Your title doesn’t match your post.

justasking111 · 22/10/2026 13:26

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Even to the heirs?

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