Daughter desperately wants a boob job

[bloomingbonkerz]

Daughter aged 26 desperately wants a boob job she’s got a 5 year old and split from dad who was vile to her about her body she hates her boobs and is very down about them she has in her words no volume she’s a B cup and they are very saggy with large nipples again her words the cost in the UK is £14000 but the turkey option is £4000 I’m so worried something will happen she as asked me to attend the trip with her to get them done if push comes to shove I will go with her as she is single so wouldn’t want her on her own as anyone else had this type of operation in a foreign country can you give me any advice to support her
she is a beautiful person inside and out I just wish she didn’t have this downer on her body

First, I would help her by researching and researching and researching. different clinics, different operations, different surgeons. What the after-care is like how long she has to be there how much cheaper would it actually work out once she has to factor in flights and accommodation. Does she actually have to go more than one time to Turkey.

I don't know how many people go to Turkey for plastic surgery but most of them come out unscathed. I think that it's the Dental stuff that is more necessary to avoid.

Of course, it is very sad that she feels like this, but I don't know how as a mother you can help her overcome it. It's not her mother who she wants to look good for presumably. It's herself.

Awful though this is, I would also talk to her about what would happen to her child if anything did happen to her once she was in Turkey.

I don't know how many people go to Turkey for plastic surgery but most of them come out unscathed. I think that it's the Dental stuff that is more necessary to avoid.

Wouldn’t want a Brazilian butt lift in Turkey. Or anywhere.

Wouldn't therapy help her and therefore her child more?

I think that counselling would be a good first step.

I wouldn't go to Turkey without a Turkish speaker. Or at the very least a recommendation from an actual Turkish background person. Who's based here but went over and had it done.

If you factor in you going with her is it really so much cheaper than UK? You can't just leave the country and never go back after that type of surgery. If they're suggesting you do so then that's suspicious. But going back adds onto the cost and flying in surgery recovery is actually not a good plan at all.

Follow the surgeon, not the clinic and not the country (advice from a friend who had bariatric surgery abroad)

@bloomingbonkerz Well, she's taking a risk undergoing surgery on vanity grounds. Tell her to love her child more than she hates her body. Because once she has started she will find other parts of her body to "fix". Offer counselling rather than operation.

Im slightly reminded of someone I came across on social media who had dental work done in Turkey which led to infection and she lost her teeth ( or they were removed in any case ) and her face was distorted and swollen and the NHS would not treat her because the work was done overseas. If there are complications following surgery what would the plan be ?

It's low self esteem. That's what she needs to work on, not her boob size. Plenty of men have been horrid about my body in the past (being called fat and having sing song mocking songs sung to me by one ex for example) but I never considered surgery, ever. I suppose it's because I've had to have lots of health-related surgery that cosmetic surgery never appealed to me.

Also, personal opinion but if it goes wrong, I can't stand it when people expect the NHS to fix it "for free". It's my opinion that the NHS shouldn't.

Well the positives are that it is much more minor surgery than a reduction, but it is still surgery with all the attendant risks from the anasthesia and post operative infection. Once you have had a child (and don't plan to have any more, because you wouldn't be able to breast feed ) is the best time to have this done as the skin has been stretched already. Obviously nothing can really be done about having big nipples though.
The down sides are the risks, and the extra risks of being in a foreign country where few people speak English if anything goes wrong.
Personally I think the money would be better spent on counselling, to help your daughter feel better about her body- there is always a risk that once she has had her boobs done she gets hooked on "improving" things and will want other things nip, tucked , enhanced or reduced.
I made costumes and wedding dresses for years and so I have seen lots of boob jobs up close and TBH after 5-10 years they tend to look and feel pretty gruesome, so she will have to square up to an ongoing cost.

I agree with the other posters about confidence and self esteem but putting that aside, I suggest she looks at Lithuania which has a better/safer reputation for this type of surgery. I know someone who had a tummy tuck and boob lift/implants there after 3 kids and then losing several stone. She was delighted with the results but above all the treatment and care (you can stay in the clinic for up to 3 nights for £300 a night which is really reassuring or go to a hotel and come in for checks each day) and follow up via video calls (part of one wound was tricky while healing and she got lots of advice on how to manage it). She was so pleased she went back two years later to have the loose skin on her arms removed.

Turkey can be hit and miss (I've heard good this about men's hair transplants but dentistry relies on the patient being a straightforward case) so maybe best to avoid. I'd be worried about language barrier and hygiene.

Obviously nothing can really be done about having big nipples though.

Apparently there is.

I had breast implants in Thailand 2006 - twenty years on and I’m preparing to go back and have them removed. No problems just don’t want them anymore.

First thing I would say is find the right Surgeon. I’d suggest looking up ISAPS - https://www.isaps.org/discover/find-a-surgeon/
they're an independent international board of surgeons and to join they must meet strict requirements.

Secondly I’d ensure you both have adequate travel insurance - almost all travel insurance is void if travelling for pre planned surgery. I’d look up medical travel shield as a starting point for a company I know can provide this level of cover at an affordable rate.

As with any surgery, there are risks of complications however with the right surgeon and hospital it should be no higher a risk whichever country it is held in - in fact many places abroad have much higher standards of care than in the UK.

as others have said - I’d also highly recommend therapy to help her overcome her body confidence issues herself. But there’s also nothing wrong with choosing you want a cosmetic procedure.

That sounds an awful lot of money - I had an uplift and implants in 2022 (with MYA so reputable UK company) and it cost me £6500. I've been quoted £9000 if I want to have them done again and that includes removal and replacement of implants - although I admit it's purely for vanity reasons so I haven't gone ahead yet.

I will say though that it has done wonders for my confidence and self-esteem, dare I say it more than therapy would have done...

Pointless. Tell her to research breast implant illness, they also need replacing in your lifetime so more surgery and expense. She needs to put her child first.

I'd pay for counselling before I agreed to help her go overseas for surgery.

I have a friend who desperately wanted a boob job, hated her body, low self esteem etc, but having bigger boobs hasn't changed any of that 😪

Sorry to jump in, but as someone looking to get a boob job (asymmetrical) why is a reduction considered more major?!

Because the surgery is far more serious it requires drains and lots more after care. Google it.

My friend, who is a mum, was advised to ensure she’d sorted out her life insurance and will, including a clear plan for who would take over care of her child if required, before she had medically necessary surgery. It was a really sobering process for her but one that she has since advised other parents to do before any surgery. Maybe even just suggesting to your daughter that she does something similar will make her think twice or will at least mean she goes into it having thought more about risks.

What part of the UK are you in OP? My DD is 27 and has just had hers enlarged. She's petite, size 6-8 and was very flat chested. She had her op last month and is now a C cup. She paid less than £9k. Excellent surgeon. We're South East, Greater London.

Just remember, cheaper isn't necessarily better. You need to carefully research surgeons and their techniques and find reviews (good and bad) from people who have used them previously.

Does your daughter understand the risks? All surgery has risks.

There was a thread on boobs here re and most women said a B was idea!!

She knows they have to be redone right?

Cup size means nothing without a band size tbh.

Hello she does love her child more then life itself and she’s battled this insecurity for 2 years but I can see how much this is affecting her