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Original poster

Help.. How to break the news of cat’s death to my little girl

28 replies

BarbaraVineFan · 21/10/2026 00:35

Our elderly cat has just died unexpectedly- I heard a noise from the living room where he had been sleeping and found him lying on the floor and he took his last breaths in my arms :( I guess he maybe had a heart attack or stroke.

My DD (whose 7th birthday is on Thurs) loved him so much. I don’t know how to handle it with her in the morning.

at the moment I have put him into a box and he is curled up like he is sleeping. But I don’t know if I should let her see him or not.

any advice welcome. I’m in shock and really sad. he was such a lovely boy.

OP posts:
RigsbysCat · 21/10/2026 00:48

I'm so sorry for the loss of your cat, but at least he died at home, without suffering and with you beside him knowing how loved he was.

I'm afraid I'm not sure how best to handle breaking the news to your little girl. Possibly maybe start by sitting her down and saying that something very sad has happened. As for letting her see him, she may ask where he is and you could tell her and see if she shows any interest in seeing him. I had a little funeral service in the garden for my last cat who died and my daughter and I said a few words, about how much we loved her and would miss her and that we would always remember her.

This is such a sad and difficult time. Sending love x

Original poster
BarbaraVineFan · 21/10/2026 00:49

Thank you very much for your reply. We have only recently moved to our house and it’s a rental so I can’t bury him in the garden or anything

OP posts:
Original poster
BarbaraVineFan · 21/10/2026 00:50

I was thinking maybe I could get him cremated and keep his ashes? I just don’t know

OP posts:
Newname26 · 21/10/2026 00:52

I don't think I'd let her see him.
Sorry about your cat x

RigsbysCat · 21/10/2026 00:53

BarbaraVineFan · 21/10/2026 00:49

Thank you very much for your reply. We have only recently moved to our house and it’s a rental so I can’t bury him in the garden or anything

If you have him cremated could you ask for the ashes and have a little memorial of some sort with your daughter?

RigsbysCat · 21/10/2026 00:56

BarbaraVineFan · 21/10/2026 00:50

I was thinking maybe I could get him cremated and keep his ashes? I just don’t know

I had a cat who was run down a long while ago cremated and we sprinkled some of his ashes in a favorite spot and kept the rest in a little urn.

Original poster
BarbaraVineFan · 21/10/2026 00:58

Yes I think I’ll do that, thank you

OP posts:
Madamfrog · 21/10/2026 00:58

Condolences - Let her see him curled up peacefully, and stroke him if she wants so she can say goodbye, she will grasp the reality that he is dead and that it's sad but that it is a natural thing and she won't go imagining something horrible. My children found it comforting. If you bury him or have him cremated him she might like to put a drawing or a message in with him. Ceremony, no matter how simple, helps a lot, at least it helped my children in similar circumstances.

Original poster
BarbaraVineFan · 21/10/2026 01:01

Thank you, that’s a lovely idea, I think she would like that

OP posts:
Sadmumz · 21/10/2026 01:08

I've had 2 cats pass recently and we've taken both to the pet crematorium (me and my 16 yr old daughter). It was devastating- I'm so sorry for your loss of your lovely cat. One of our cats we had the ashes put inside a memorial bear which was sold by the crematorium. My daughter sleeps with it each night so this might be an idea.

Peachy2005 · 21/10/2026 01:14

So sorry for your loss 💐 We still have our beloved cat’s ashes on a shelf in the living room since 2019. He was there when both kids were born and was their protector. We like that he can still be with us.

Original poster
BarbaraVineFan · 21/10/2026 01:24

I feel so sad. He was such a lovely, gentle boy

OP posts:
Snailssitonwhales · 21/10/2026 01:27

I am sorry for your loss - the loss of a much loved family pet is so hard.

The RSPCA have some good tips and ideas for how to tell children and for supporting them through the loss.

www.rspca.org.uk/adviceandwelfare/pets/bereavement/children

I saw someone on Instagram recently shared a 'pet grief workbook' type thing where the child can go through and do different activities, read and work through their feelings over time, there are plenty of things like this online available to buy or print out to use when your daughter is ready. It could be a nice activity to do together to remember your cat and work through your grief together.

When my childhood cats died my parents buried our cats in the back garden and we got involved as children by making something to mark the burial site or by choosing a new plant for the garden in their memory. It helped to talk about what happened and talk about our memories of them.

scrivette · 21/10/2026 01:43

Sorry for your loss.
When our pet died DD and I went to the Garden Centre to choose a nice plant and a terracotta pot so she could decorate the pot and put the plant in (maybe a small fir tree that you can take with you?)
She also decorated a couple of stones with the name and a picture of the pet and put it with the plant.
Having something to focus on about the pet really seems to help her.

I took a photo and asked if she wanted to see the photo as I felt she may be a little young to see, she didn’t want to look at it but I still have it in case she changes her mind.

Newname26 · 21/10/2026 02:40

Op if you have him cremated you could put his ashes in the back of a photo frame with his photo in the front.

Or you could put them in a houseplant or plant pot that could move with you.

givemesteel · 21/10/2026 02:48

So sorry for your loss. I think the very last Mog book dealt with her death and I believe is said to be beautifully written, maybe that might help?

SpookyBooooo · 21/10/2026 02:54

Sorry for your loss. Cats are so lovely, it's so sad when they go. 💐

GoldMerchant · 21/10/2026 03:18

I'm so sorry for your loss.

When you tell your daughter, make sure you use the word "died" and not any euphemism like "passed away" or "left us." You need to be clear and factual, in child-accessible terms. So saying something like, "He was very old and his body wore out" if she asks why he died. I wouldn't give too much information straight out; wait until she asks questions.

I would ask her if she wants to see and stroke him. I did this for pets that died at a similar age and it was helpful. (I'd have different advice if he was injured or otherwise looked distressing but it sounds like that's not the case.)

It's also ok for her to see you upset. Not hysterical or anything frightening for her, but she's allowed to know that adults have emotions. A little ceremony is also a lovely idea for you both: there have been some beautiful suggestions above.

PurpleAxe · 21/10/2026 03:34

Let her see him, and give him a pat and explain what has happened, truthfully, as a PP said use accurate words.

My boys took a day off school the day after our old cat died. They needed familu time and cuddles.

Frumpitydoo · 21/10/2026 06:53

I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand your fear of telling your DD and wish you both all the best.

MeowDoku · 21/10/2026 06:58

My DS is a similar age when our cat died a couple of years ago, we bought the book goodbye Mog and read it with him, he was understandably sad but the book helped him to process it, we also printed a nice photo of DS and the cat which he has in his room in a frame. I'm so sorry for your loss I was heartbroken when ours went.

Brightdark · 21/10/2026 07:06

Well
don’t do what my Mum did, which was to say when I got home ‘ your cat’s dead’ and then sit in stony hard faced silence at the table whilst I cried alone into the back of the sofa.

Lifestooshort71 · 21/10/2026 07:27

We had this with our children many years ago. I wouldn't suggest she sees him unless she asks. I'd tell her he'd come to the end of his time with us and we could talk about the fun times we'd had with Catty so we'd always remember him. Give her a couple of days and then start talking about all the little rescue kittens waiting for a lovely home and perhaps we could think about taking one and giving them a lovely life like Catty had? Don't press her, just leave it and see if she mentions it on her own. You would not be replacing Catty but rescuing an unloved one.

CordwainerBird · 21/10/2026 07:31

I’m so sorry. DS was 4 when one of our cats died and he came to the vet with us so we could all have a bit of time with her. I then took DS outside and DH stayed with the cat when she was euthanised.

I would let her see him if she wants to and then consider cremation if you can afford it and you have nowhere to bury. Agree with a PP that ceremony and rituals help.

monicaspurpledoor · 21/10/2026 07:34

So sorry for the loss of your cat.
My daughter is the same age as yours.
i find she accepts things if we just tell her. Such as when my grandma (her great grandma died). I explained that she was very old and her body was weary and that she died and went to heaven. (We do believe in god). I just explained that we were sad and it’s ok to be sad. Same with her dads diagnosis of epilepsy, she calls his seizures a wobbly dance and that he takes medication to stop them but sometimes he still has a ‘wobbly dance’ and she knows what to do.

If you make a massive fuss then I find it makes children anxious and there’s something to be made a fuss of. If you talk to her like it’s a fact of life (the fact your cat had a long healthy life and he was really old when he died makes this easier l explain to a child) and that’s it’s sad and we can chat about it.

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