I’m feeling really angry

[Anne632]

Can someone please help me? I’m feeling angry all the time. Little things are setting me off. I hate myself for shouting at my kids all the time. I really don’t want to be like this. I get stressed over the smallest things e.g. just this week the stress of trying to organise a play date for my DD and a mum being an ass and not responding which I find incredibly rude. Yes yes I know she might be having her own stresses etc. but I find people incredibly rude and in the past I would just avoid but increasingly I’m getting annoyed by everyone. Just today driving into tesco a man stopped in the Middle of car park having a chat with another guy while I was waiting patiently behind him! After a couple of mins I beeped and he carried on talking! I’m getting so fed up of everything

Menopausal rage.

Menopause? Peri-menopause? That’s my guess!

How much sleep do you get op? Are you running about all the time? Do you get days off/ time off/ breathing space? Is work stressful? Do you have a dp/ dh and are there any issues?

Lots of middle-aged men get like this. Think of the Grumpy Old Men movie. I guess its an age thing.

That sounds hormonal.

Was my first thought!

Could also be trauma related.
I had incredible rage when my kids were younger. It was awful when I look back and it was due to a traumatic pregnancy and birth.
I was able to access trauma therapy through work and did a visualisation exercise and it literally changed my life in that moment.
Hope things improve for you soon OP 💐

something on your mind your not dealing with,over tired,overwhelmed,overthinking.take-time be kind to you.dont make any plans for a few days.go to ground and breath...

I do have stressful things going on in my life but I genuinely think it’s a mix of everything. I used to be a people pleaser but recently I’ve stopped and realised how annoying some people are. My DH is cold and unloving. I have 2 very young kids. I wish people would stop blaming hormones I’m not menopausal. I’m barely 30

You asked for help and what you describe sounds very hormonal. You didn’t give your age so no one was to know it wasn’t. Honestly, your response here just demonstrates that you’re right — you’re getting unnecessarily irritated by things. I would look at sleep first, alcohol intake, and if those things are OK I would consider talking to a GP about medication. Whatever the cause, feeling like this all the time is no way to live.

It's not unreasonable to get annoyed with this (unless the man was actually helping someone who was injured etc/you find out the school mum was in the hospital and you're still mad). But the way you state things, it isn't unreasonable to call people out on their behaviour, as a lot of posters say.

Have you heard of the books 'Let Them' and 'Unfuck Your Brain'? They might help you stop caring how others behave, and free up emotional space in your head where the rage used to reside.

Consistently disrupted sleep and untreated PND (which can last years if not treated) can cause trigger-rage. Are either of these potential reasons?

Thats just due to the fact that it appears the majority of women on MN are middle aged.

Sounds like your life is difficult .dh/ young dc/lack of support is , understandably building up on you.

Dont under estimate the need for self care. Look after yourself.
💐

Thank you all. I will look at the book suggestions

OP, this sounds like me when I had uncontrolled PMDD. It's awful. Please look into it and track your symptoms for a couple of months.

Yup, get thee on HRT!

OP already said she wasn't menopausal, she's too young.

Anger is also a sign of depression. My gentle uncle starting getting angry about lots of little things and turned out he was depressed.

How do you get to that? You don't even know hold old OP is. She could be early 20s

I really feel for you and it sounds like your emotional bucket is full so little things that you can normally cope with are overwhelming and causing you to react in a more extreme manner than usual. To address this you need some time for yourself to destress and relax - because you’re worth it. Try and use a lunch break or when the kids are in bed, if you like yoga, walking, reading or anything similar take 30mins a day to relax. Set yourself a target and try it; you’re overwhelmed and it’s hard at 30 yrs as life’s so busy, you just have to try make some time for you. I hope you find something to help you feel better.

Yes, you are very angry.

Speak to your GP, depression (chemical imbalance) often shows itself as anger.

There’s such a thing as premature menopause actually, how were we supposed to know how old the OP is. It’s a good guess on limited information.

Me too. You don't have to be 40+ for it to be hormones. PMDD led me to an anger I've never felt before and couldn't just be normal stress. It was weird because it came on quite suddenly and I was in denial thinking 'I know I have PMS and it isn't that'. But no, PMDD is something different entirely. 😐

To be fair sounds like you are really under a lot of pressure at the moment no wonder you are experiencing rage. Also I found that when the kids were younger I never ever had time where I could process my feelings. I was either at work and being professional or at home being present for the kids. You could be burned out, you could be low on iron.

I’d start with the GP.