Should we pay for daughter's celebratory meal

[Eluj]

Our daughter married long term partner abroad . She asked if we minded if they just had a quiet cremony in a registry office with no guests. We said it was fine by us so long as they are happy and its what they want. She has come to UK ( although living abroad) to see my parents and my sister directly after marriage abd we have all agreed to have a nice meal in a restaurant to welcome newly weds. I think we should pay the resurant bill ( 9 of us) Husband says no.
Am I being unreasonable to insist we pay bill. We can afford it.

Why are you ignoring the many questions asking why he doesn’t want to pay?!

If you're a traditional family then I suggest that you not only pay for the meal, but contribute to the deposit they are saving for a home.

Just how many posters are going to ask why he’s reluctant to pay?
He’s clearly just a tightfisted bugger, what other reason is it likely to be?

😉

Why does he say no?

I don't know about the U.K., but in the U.S., traditionally the bride's family is supposed to pay for the wedding. In other words, your daughter has just saved you thousands.

Imagine being this tight. Is he secretly sulking because he didn't get to be at the wedding to 'give her away' or some crap like that?

Obviously, just do it anyway. No question.

And just to add, it's not up to him to decide.

Definitely pay for it.

@Eluj
So he'd rather have paid for balletic handmaidens sprinkling rose petals down the aisle to the sound of ceremonial horns and daughter in a bespoke hand-spun silken pearl encrusted gown then would he?
Pity he will have to settle by paying for a celebratory meal instead.....

If your husband is delighted for them and the relationships are all good as you say, then WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HIM?!

What a healthy, level view ❤️

Your husband sounds rather stingy with money

Indeed. Apart from her skinflint husband refusing to pay for the meal, which rather spoils the otherwise idyllic description of family life.

Because it’s the kind of thing loving parents who can afford it do for their children

Is there a backstory to the finances? Do you work and have your own money? Is this his dd? Also how are there 9 of you? Dd, her husband, you and your husband, your parents, your sister. Does your dd have 2 children? You should pay as this is your dd and your family and it’s a nice thing to do. You’ve saved a lot on wedding expenses as your dd didn’t have a wedding!

We don't know his reasons for saying no.
On the face of it, it seems a perfectly natural way to celebrate their marriage . I would even arrange champagne and perhaps a surprise low key wedding cake at the restaurant as well.

@Eluj please can you answer some of the questions so that we can respond properly. It’s really frustrating when posters give very little. Unless this is just another bot.

If you can afford it , why wouldn’t you ?

But your previous posted suggested you expected it. That’s something different

Your husband is a skinflint.

I'd happily pay.

I'd pay it whether DH liked it or not. A meal for 9 is very cheap compared to if you'd contributed to cost of expensive wedding. Your DH is being mean. Just ignore him and go ahead with planning a nic meal for newly weds.

Jesus we pay whenever our children come home but having just got married? When else is there such a time for a celebration? Of course you as parents should pay, they’ve paid airfare to come and see you.

I believe you should pay. It will look awful if you don’t. Why does your husband say no? Is he generally a skinflint? Is he sulking because he didn’t get to give his daughter away? Does he dislike the husband? Why?