Would you go through CMS with an ex who you’re on good terms with?

[HRR107]

Just as the title suggests really. I would like people’s opinions. I am struggling to decide what to do.

I split from children’s father around 6 years ago. We have 2 kids together. At first he paid a reasonable amount towards child maintenance. Then he stopped when my new partner moved in and didn’t pay anything at all for 2 years. My partner has paid for everything for the kids in that time period as we have a young child together so I was out of work. My partner was happy to do this but I kept nagging my ex as I didn’t find it fair.

Fast forward to now, I am back in work and managing to pay for as much as I can. My ex has now started paying for the last few months. He earns a good wage and openly shares what he earns with me. I have looked up CMS calculator which shows I am entitled to double what he pays me.

My dilemma is that we are on very good terms and I don’t want to ‘rock the boat’ for my children’s sake. If I piss him off by going through CMS,l I’m worried it will leave our co parenting relationship in a bad state. Have other people been through anything similar?

You are only on good terms because you don't rock the boat. He's a freeloader, freeloading off you and your DH so of course you should go through CMS if he won't voluntarily increase his payments. If you are on good terms you should be able to show him the calculation and agree on a sum somewhere between that and what he gives you now.

Yes I would.

Start by showing him how much you would be entitled to. He may not realize how low his payment is. If he says he won't pay that much, get the system involved

Doesn’t sound like you are on good terms??

He didn’t pay anything for 2 years?! Surely you’re only on “good terms” because you let him be a neglectful father