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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Moving abroad has made me realise how bloody dire the UK is

467 replies

MattHancocksPrivateNurse · Today 16:36

We moved abroad 4 months ago and after the normal wobbles and adjustments I am now shocked at how different (and much better!) life is. We have considerably more spending money despite paying for private school and healthcare (which are much much better than the UK). It’s safer, considerably cleaner, better public services and much better food quality.

already I can’t see us ever going back and already want to explore somewhere new eventually! But if anyone is feeling low and despondent about the uk which we really were and gets an opportunity (or has a transferable job) I would 100000% recommend looking into it.

i wish we had done it 10 years ago tbh. AIBU to never come back bar the odd visit to see family and friends?!

OP posts:
SeriaMau · Today 21:19

You have moved to one of the richest countries on the planet. Lucky you. I’m sure Oman has its faults but doubtless you will enjoy it.
Now think about all the people in the UK without those transferable skills or access to the Omani job market.
And also think about all those other economic migrants trying to better their lives by moving to a country that is wealthier than their own, with better job prospects.
Its a funny old world isn’t it?

Ubertomusic · Today 21:24

PurpleThistle7 · Today 21:16

probably not a ‘positive environment for kids’ for my Jewish children eh? Or their gay grandmother? What a cesspool of a place.

I am an immigrant so absolutely no judgement on finding a place that works for you (legally) but think I’d be hard pressed to feel happy for a friend immigrating to a country I’m not welcome to visit.

Our Jewish gay friends have no problem working in ME 🤷‍♀️

TheTwerkingDuchessOfMonteshitshow · Today 21:25

I’m sorry but I don’t recognise you. I’m also sorry if I’ve confused you with another poster. As for being rude. I can live with that. Especially when I’m separating fact from fiction.

It’s very unfortunate you couldn’t have pointed out my error without being as rude as you were. Pot. Kettle. Black.

Wewinnow · Today 21:27

FreitagUs · Today 21:12

There's lots of cultural stuff to do and see in Muscat

It’s far more limited: there’s less variety than in the UK and a lot less informal, grass routes kind of stuff - so there’s also much less amateur participation.
There’s culture in Oman alright, that is true, but it’s very different to what’s on offer in the UK and I would miss what we have here too much to live there for any length of time.

samarrange · Today 21:27

PrestonHood121 · Today 17:39

It's great until your husband loses his health insurance and you've been gone too long outside of the UK to get back on the NHS in a hurry

UK citizens moving back to the UK are entitled to NHS coverage immediately they establish their "ordinary residence", which can be as soon as they get a rental contract. There is no waiting period to qualify. (This is not to defend the OP's decision, but it is one thing that they ought not to have to worry about too much.)

DemBonesDemBones · Today 21:29

Depends where in the UK. Very happy in Scotland. Was very unhappy in England.

JasmineMac · Today 21:32

I'd leave the UK in a heartbeat. To somewhere in Europe though, Denmark or Switzerland. Even Norway. The UK is a shithole, and I live in a picturesque coastal town in Scotland aswell! Goodness knows how people in more densely populated areas of this hellscape manage, fair fucks to all who do 🫡

samarrange · Today 21:35

DP and I spent a bit of time in the ME after DC1 was born. As ME places go it was at the liberal end for women - no mandatory veil, etc. But we decided to leave within the first year for a couple of reasons:

(a) The income we had been promised didn't materialise - it was substantially based on commission that mysteriously never arrived.
(b) The social situation was a bit weird. Many of the westerners were making 3 times as much money as they would at home, for fairly basic jobs such as engineering work. Some of them thought this made them kings of the world. They had maids whom they treated little better than the local citizens did, there was a lot of conspicuous consumption, and a lot of promiscuity (which we only found out about as we were leaving -- apparently the next compound over was Shag Central).

It was a great place to be with a toddler, but we wouldn't have wanted to have kids in school there. In the end our minds got made up for us when Saddam invaded Kuwait and the whole region got a bit lively, but we were on the way out before then anyway. We were also not very political at the time (still aren't, really, but these days it seems politics comes to you), and so were completely unaware of the tribal and sectarian issues that were bubbling under, some of which came out during the Arab Spring.

Papyrophile · Today 21:35

Let me disagree with most of you. For seven months every year, October to April, the Middle East is a very comfortable climate for everyday life. Take the hot summer months to reconnect back home.

I realise that my take on the ME is based on my family experience. It is not political. But I have been in and out of the ME (Oman and UAE mostly, but also family in KSA) for 30 years, with family resident there.

The MN view of life in most of the Gulf States is beyond bonkers. Yes, there are a great many domestics, mostly Indian, in the Gulf. And most of them send remittances back. They buy land and build houses, to build wealth at home in India and Pakistan and the Philippines. The economic opportunity does not exist at home for them, so the bravest and cleverest seek it overseas.

Anyahyacinth · Today 21:36

MattHancocksPrivateNurse · Today 17:11

This attitude and bitterness is what we left behind. Everyone here has been so welcoming, it feels a positive environment for kids with hope for the future. In the UK everyone was desperate to drag you down if you want better

That’s not attitude and bitterness OP that’s MORALITY

Papyrophile · Today 21:37

Anyahyacinth · Today 21:36

That’s not attitude and bitterness OP that’s MORALITY

Actually, I think that's political drivel.

JasmineMac · Today 21:39

Papyrophile · Today 21:35

Let me disagree with most of you. For seven months every year, October to April, the Middle East is a very comfortable climate for everyday life. Take the hot summer months to reconnect back home.

I realise that my take on the ME is based on my family experience. It is not political. But I have been in and out of the ME (Oman and UAE mostly, but also family in KSA) for 30 years, with family resident there.

The MN view of life in most of the Gulf States is beyond bonkers. Yes, there are a great many domestics, mostly Indian, in the Gulf. And most of them send remittances back. They buy land and build houses, to build wealth at home in India and Pakistan and the Philippines. The economic opportunity does not exist at home for them, so the bravest and cleverest seek it overseas.

But it's bloody roasting. Hell on earth surely? That said, I guess you acclimatise.

PurpleThistle7 · Today 21:39

Ubertomusic · Today 21:24

Our Jewish gay friends have no problem working in ME 🤷‍♀️

In Oman specifically? My children and I are not allowed to visit Oman because I was born in Israel. There’s no Jewish community in Oman at all. Obviously the ME has lots of different countries each with their own rules. Looked it up and if caught, you can be imprisoned for 3 years for having sex as a gay person - that’s not super welcoming for my mother either.

pizzaHeart · Today 21:39

Oman?
🍿🍿🍿
And come back to us in 5 years time.

Franjipanl8r · Today 21:39

MattHancocksPrivateNurse · Today 16:52

Fair enough there’s something for everyone!

If you like walking in greenery and rambling over green hills then Oman would offer none of that. Glad you’ve found somewhere you like, but it wouldn’t be the life I’d want for me or my kids.

PyongyangKipperbang · Today 21:41

Papyrophile · Today 21:35

Let me disagree with most of you. For seven months every year, October to April, the Middle East is a very comfortable climate for everyday life. Take the hot summer months to reconnect back home.

I realise that my take on the ME is based on my family experience. It is not political. But I have been in and out of the ME (Oman and UAE mostly, but also family in KSA) for 30 years, with family resident there.

The MN view of life in most of the Gulf States is beyond bonkers. Yes, there are a great many domestics, mostly Indian, in the Gulf. And most of them send remittances back. They buy land and build houses, to build wealth at home in India and Pakistan and the Philippines. The economic opportunity does not exist at home for them, so the bravest and cleverest seek it overseas.

Just because you dont like the truth, it doesnt make it less true.

Put your fingers in your ears and shout lalalalalala as much as you like, doesnt stop it being true.

Ubertomusic · Today 21:47

JasmineMac · Today 21:32

I'd leave the UK in a heartbeat. To somewhere in Europe though, Denmark or Switzerland. Even Norway. The UK is a shithole, and I live in a picturesque coastal town in Scotland aswell! Goodness knows how people in more densely populated areas of this hellscape manage, fair fucks to all who do 🫡

We have connection to Switzerland and I wouldn't want to live there tbh but at least you get value for your money there whereas here you get shit for the same money 😂

Friends moved to Sweden many years ago and never looked back, even though it's not perfect either.

ilovesooty · Today 21:47

Soontobe60 · Today 17:32

This Oman?
Restrictions on freedom of expression increased. A new citizenship law enabled authorities to revoke citizenship from critics of the Sultan or the state, while activists and protesters faced arrests and imprisonment for peaceful expression. Press freedom was further restricted by new media regulations granting state authorities broad powers of censorship and surveillance. Minimum standards for employing domestic workers were introduced but migrant workers, particularly domestic workers, remained trapped under the abusive kafala (sponsorship) system, suffering exploitation with limited legal protection. Women and girls continued to experience gender-based discrimination, including under the new citizenship law, and lacked protection from domestic violence.
Freedom of expression and association
On 11 February the Sultan of Oman ratified a new citizenship law that allowed the authorities to revoke Omani citizenship from people who verbally or physically “offend” Oman or the Sultan, or who belong to a group, party or organization that embraces principles or beliefs that “harm the interests” of Oman – vague terms that can be used to silence opponents and restrict opinions.
Authorities continued to summon, arrest and prosecute activists, government critics and peaceful protesters.
On 8 April, activist Talal Al-Salmani was arrested after joining a peaceful gathering during which he criticized the government. He was sentenced two days later to a fine for “participation in an unlawful gathering” and to one year in prison for “spreading news likely to undermine the prestige of the state”. In May the Muscat Court of Appeal upheld his conviction but reduced the prison term to three months for each charge, to be served concurrently. He was released on 6 August.
Salem bin Salam Al-Salti was summoned for interrogation on 8 August. He was subjected to enforced disappearance, the duration of which could not be confirmed by the end of the year. Media outlets and an Omani NGO reported that his summons was related to his comments on social media criticizing government policy on unemployment.
Omani authorities arrested writer Mohammed Ali Al-Bar’ami on 18 June, two days after he posted comments on the platform X criticizing the government system as “corrupt”. On 28 July the Primary Court in the city of Salalah sentenced him to four years in prison, fined him OMR 5,000 (around USD 13,000) and ordered the closure of his social media accounts for “using information networks and information technology means to publish what may harm public order”.
Press freedom
In September the Ministry of Information issued Executive Regulations to operationalize the Media Law passed in December 2024. The Media Law expanded state power to restrict press freedom by granting authorities broad powers to control media content and licensing of newspapers, broadcasting channels, news agencies, media workers and publishing houses. The law also granted sweeping powers to suspend activities without judicial approval, impose surveillance on journalists and media institutions, and limit the licensed use of social media accounts to Omani citizens in that profession.
Migrants’ rights
Despite official pledges to abolish the kafala (sponsorship) system, it remained in force leaving hundreds of thousands of migrant workers – particularly domestic workers – vulnerable to abuse. Sponsors continued to exert control by illegally confiscating workers’ documents, restricting their freedom of movement and employment, while the authorities failed to provide adequate protection to those fleeing exploitation.
In September at least 11 Indian migrant workers were stranded after the company employing them withheld four months’ wages, denied overtime pay and confiscated their passports when they protested.
On 13 October the Ministry of Labour issued Ministerial Decision No. 574/2025, which introduced regulations to establish minimum standards for domestic workers, including weekly and annual leave, sick leave, regulated working hours and rest periods, prohibition of forced labour, and banning the retention of workers’ passports.
While these changes were long overdue, they did little to shift the power imbalance between employers and migrant workers. It remained unclear how the changes were being implemented, as many migrant domestic workers continued to face abuse, poor working and living conditions, unpaid wages, long working hours, movement restrictions and illegal passport confiscation.
Women’s and girls’ rights
Oman continued to lack comprehensive legal protections against domestic violence. There remained no stand-alone law that explicitly criminalized domestic abuse. Existing legislation on divorce, marriage and inheritance continued to uphold gender biases, consistently favouring men.
The new citizenship law, passed in February, discriminated against women by restricting their ability to confer nationality to their children and foreign spouses on the same basis as men and imposing stricter conditions for children of Omani women married to foreign men. This perpetuated gender inequality and put children at risk of statelessness

https://www.amnesty.org/en/location/middle-east-and-north-africa/middle-east/oman/report-oman/

I suppose everyone has a different bar in terms of what they'll close their eyes to to pursue the lifestyle they want.

CountFucula · Today 21:48

I’m older than you I think, OP. Well, my children are. The people I know who moved to the Middle East were lured by the salary, weather and schooling. They are all, without exception, back in the uk now a decade on. They got bored.
Personally I think it’s a hellscape built on blood and oil with an appalling human rights record and a homophobic, paternalistic culture that you couldn’t pay me to raise children in.

Papyrophile · Today 21:49

Unlike you, I have been there. Family and friends have lived there for long periods. It does become dull, but you make life enjoyable with friends and experiences.

FreitagUs · Today 21:51

What rights do women have in the UK? We have rights in law but are we actually safe?

Gottodosomething2026 · Today 21:51

FreitagUs · Today 21:51

What rights do women have in the UK? We have rights in law but are we actually safe?

I've never felt unsafe in the UK

Papyrophile · Today 21:53

I have felt safer in the ME than in the UK after dark. But I am old.

Ubertomusic · Today 21:53

Papyrophile · Today 21:37

Actually, I think that's political drivel.

I think so too, even though I'm personally not a fan of ME. But the comments are bonkers and very much politically charged. I laugh when I hear we are a democracy and have the right to vote - the UK is a monarchy and our voted governments give fuck all about the plebs who participate in this joke of voting.