10 year olds more likely to be on disability benefits than 50 year olds

[AgeingMillennial]

AIBU to think this is absolutely baffling? And at some point we really have to investigate why so many young children are non verbal, have severe emotional regulation problems etc?

Part of the reason why I've got one of the disabilities I have is because my parents were told they were imagining things. I was apparently imagining my headaches upon waking and there was nothing wrong with me getting up at 4am to vomit (I've done this one as an adult having spent the weekend unwell)

I had epilepsy. They only bothered to listen when one morning my sister went toilet and went to get back into bed. (We had bunk beds) I was on the floor and she got mum because I was on the floor in her way

I slept through the whole thing and woke up with a very sore head having hit the bedroom floor

Once again, I am surprised by how charmingly garrulous the, definitely not entirely fictitious, shamelessly blatant benefits cheats posters like you definitely know are about their crimes. I would have thought that, if one were engaged in defrauding the government, one would not broadcast the exact nature and method of one's criminal activity with all and sundry, yet, I am apparently mistaken. I am sure that, like all of the definitely not imaginary, gleefully unrepentant and conveniently communicative benefits cheats posters on here swear they know, your acquaintances are absolutely real and not figments of your Daily Mail-addled fevered imagination!

A doctor tried to tell me that DS was fine and his SATs couldn’t possibly be 75 as the nurse had written when she had triaged him. Thankfully that same nurse went straight for the consultant who had him on cpap straight away! I dread to think what would have happened otherwise.

My child wakes up in the night. I sent in several emails from school about him falling asleep in class as evidence.

That’s not evidence of a medical condition. That could be neglect

My son has ASD and his teacher recently said he is a delight to teach. He listens, he is kind to others, he isn’t naughty at school. Sometimes he gets so distressed he threatens to kill himself at home though. Is that ‘poor behaviour’?

Depends how old he is really. Sounds pretty normal for a teen, more concerning if he's only 9. I don't know any kid who didn't act vastly different at home to at school.

@Firefly1987 he’s ten and been saying this stuff and trying to jump out of windows a few years now

I remember reading this was a symptom of depression in children

You’d be surprised. People disclose all sorts and all the time - affairs, drugs, cheating the benefit system. They think they won’t get caught. These aren’t criminal masterminds, they’re people taking a punt to get an extra few hundred quid a month. They don’t really realise the consequences if/when they get found out.

Strangely always to mumsnet posters
Loudly in public places
And they always spend their ill gotton gains
On spray tans ,gel nsils and botox...

You would think so wouldn't you. I live on a council estate in the North East of England, it is rife here. And no they wouldn't go and shout about it in public but it is a well known phenomenon within the community. Again, you don't have to believe me but I think you're being willfully naive to think this never happens.

Its perfectly possible to be concerned for children AND question why we suddenly appear to have so many more disabled children than 50 years ago.

My brother is severely disabled, he will be on benefits for his entire life, and rightly so. My other brother works cash in hand and claims benefits (not disability related), and I'd report him if I could. People do play the system and there's nothing wrong with flagging that.

You are choosing not to report him

Here's an idea, try asking someone why they haven't done something, rather than telling them.

I've tried reporting him, I dont have his address so am unable to.

Weirdly, it’s also a symptom of ADHD, Autism, cognitive delay and an assortment of other things.

My child isn’t sad. He doesn’t produce melatonin, and his body clock needs batteries. Or replacing.

The online reporting system doesn’t require an address. You can answer no to the question about whether you know their address and still proceed with reporting benefit fraud.

@AgeingMillennial

OP, I have a question.

I’ve read through all of your posts, and I can see you have “concerns” about the level of disability in children, and the cost of that as they become adults.

What I can’t see is what you’d actually like to do about that?

They will become adults, that will cost money, personally I’m not concerned about that as I am the biased owner of one of those non-verbal emotionally disregulated children you refer to in your OP.

But, seeing as you are concerned, and we can’t send the existing disabled children back, what would you like to see happen to alleviate your concerns?

I have looked, and I can’t see any suggestions of a solution to your problem.

Thank goodness for parents like yours and mine who fought for our survival - I was born in the 70s and it was said of me (not by a medic and not directly to my parents) that it was a shame I hadn't died at birth as the NHS had enough to do looking after normal people... I think that's why I find it so frightening that we seem to be going slowly but surely back to those attitudes.

That is very good to know, thank you!

So what I suggest is we stop pretending there won’t be a ton of adults dependent on the state in 15 years time, and start getting ahead of that curve (in a way we never did with the baby boomer generation and subsequent pensions crisis) by earmarking and slowly renovating buildings that can be used as state care facilities.

If he’s non verbal how do you know he isn’t sad? I’ve seen interesting evidence lately that non verbal children are, at least some, of completely normal intelligence but they’re ‘trapped’ in a body that doesn’t align with their brain signals. So they actually understand everything we say but can’t reply or react as if they do.

I imagine because she knows her child.

Well, controversial I know, but.

I can tell when he’s sad.

I don’t think any of us are pretending children don’t get older. We know how the science behind that works - children, if left to their own devices, become adults.

Depends on the state of said state care facilities.

My son absolutely will end up in some sort of assisted living or residential care facility - we can’t live forever.

My priority will be ensuring it’s the right one, and that it meet his needs, safely, and without unnecessary distress or neglect of any kind.

Anything below that standard, and I’m not interested.

Tbh you’re the kind of parent I have in mind. Surely it would be much less stressful for you for him to be settled in a care facility for many years before you die, so you can get to know it and he will feel at home there and not experience too much upheaval?

And I don’t mean some awful bare walled asylum, I mean thoughtful large homes where care can be provided via economies of scale (and therefore better facilities).