I might get slated for this but as someone older with a genuine disability I worked until I couldn’t - from literally washing cars at 10, paper round at 13, in a cafe from 14 - 17 then various part time jobs until education finished and I worked full time, sometimes up to 60 hours a week.
I started claiming benefits in my forties and I absolutely hate it, I’m constantly doing anything the job centre send me to get back to work but the problem is they promise reasonable adjustments and from experience I know it just doesn’t happen.
Suddenly we are surrounded by constant armchair psychologists and social media posts telling us that normal behaviour is signs of being neurodivergent and kids aren’t naughty anymore it’s always a sign of autism and ADHD.
You only need to look at old posts on this site from before around 2015 where SEN or being ND is barely mentioned and parenting discussions are completely different.
It comes up on so many threads now where people are struggling to discipline their kids and are told they are masking or it’s the “coke bottle effect” if they behave at school instead of realising they just have clear boundaries at school.
The misunderstanding of gentle parenting and confusion with permissive parenting means kids just don’t get proper discipline and instead parents attempt to reason with them which just causes confusion.
Younger parents see content online and monitor their kids for any signs then decide they have autism or ADHD and parent them differently. Suddenly it’s PDA so they go low demand or iPads are given for self regulation.
My sister has just had a private diagnosis for ADHD for my niece and I’d bet my life on it (from someone who genuinely has it) that she doesn’t have it but they have used the family link and it being hereditary for a diagnosis.
Once she had a diagnosis my sister got hers and again there are no signs and she spent years bullying me for being different to her!
I think my niece has genuine trauma from awful childhood experiences and has struggled with her mental health but she shows no signs of ADHD and I think she is aware of that which is why she used money she doesn’t have to go private when I had clear NHS records.
There is a regular poster on here who lists her child’s milestones every few months then fixates on one tiny thing (like a child repeating lines from a film) and uses language like “scripting” and is obsessed with getting a diagnosis. She has been to see so many different professionals because she’s obviously viewing social media content and if you watch enough of it then something at some point is going to seem familiar.
The autism spectrum is so wide now that people very mildly affected can claim benefits and I think it’s unfair when parents claim it and put limits on a child’s ability to thrive.
I had a friend with 3 kids on DLA for autism and told them constantly that she didn’t expect big results from school because of their disabilities and treated them completely different from peers.
They are now all young adults and two don’t work and claim benefits but the 3rd has graduated university and is looking like they have a bright future because they said they didn’t want to end up a statistic.
I think a big part of that is she has a different dad to the others and had involvement from him and his family to encourage her to do more with her life.
I’m not saying that the rise in awareness is all bad but in some cases it’s been abused and there are so many sources online telling people what to say in order to claim benefits.
Someone who was once my friend admitted she used them herself for her claims and I genuinely believed she was physically disabled to the point she could only take a few steps until she shared her Apple Watch data.
I found it interesting that when she was on holiday in America she was doing up to 30,000 steps a day but I’d never seen her without her stick.
There are obviously people who fiddle the system and genuine cases but I think the difference now is that people are constantly online and seeing things that they think “that sounds like me” like time blindness with ADHD or being an introvert and struggling socially and thinking that makes them autistic.
It also results in trends, there was a thread on here about “sickfluencers” that ended up just being drowned out with cries of “ableism” but it very clearly is a thing.
I had years of bullying and shame and hiding my mental health struggles and now people wear them as a badge and seem keen to have a label, some don’t seem to have caught on so I suffer a lot of stigma so I think it’s great in one way that we are more open about things but I do wonder if the fact that there is a link between autism and ADHD being talked about more and there being more people diagnosed with these illnesses rather than things like bipolar, schizophrenia, personality disorders, psychosis and other less glamorous illnesses.
I guess we will see what pans out in the future but the kids with genuine struggles and disabilities are being doubted or will have to deal with budget cuts due to high numbers of people being over diagnosed and that’s a genuine worry for anyone who is relying on benefits as a last resort.