To still go to church even the weekend my friend is staying with me?

[returnthelamp]

My friend is coming to visit and to stay with me Saturday - Wednesday. We have mutual friends in the area who we will also meet up with together. I go to church on Sunday mornings and it’s important to me so I’d still like to go whenever my friend is staying. AIBU? I don’t know if she’d like to come with me (she’d be welcome to) but she doesn’t have to and I’d be quite happy for her to relax at my house or for her to get the bus somewhere to do her own thing for the morning. It will only be for a couple of hours and then I’ll be home. Would it be ok for me still to go when she’s visiting?

Presuming your friend is over the age of 12, she will cope perfectly well left to her own devices for an hour or two. It’s not remotely rude to leave her alone in this scenario. Some of the answers here are batshit.

I've stayed with church-going friends and family at times. They usually let me know they'll be going, say I can go with them if I'd like, or I can stay and relax and we'll meet up after. I don't expect to spend every second of the day together, especially if staying a few days.

I'd go. I'd make sure my friend knew beforehand, that me going wasn't some kind of slight, that the friend is welcome to come along but equally welcome not to. I wouldn't stay around for the social time after the service though, unless the friend decided to come along with me.

Of course you go, if she is a friend I assume she knows you are a churchgoer. People who are offended that you would leave them to go to church are truly bizarre.

YANBU. I have a Catholic friend who always goes to mass on Sundays; she never misses it, including when we stay with her, and I wouldn’t expect her to. We just hang out at her house and have brunch with her husband, though if he wanted to go to Mass too we would be quite happy looking after ourselves.

I’ve done this several times OP - I just mention I’m going to church and they’re welcome to come or equally chill at home. By the time I get to church and back, it’s about 2.5 hours - no friend has ever withered away being outside of my company for that time period! 😂

Yes completely fine. The only exception would be if you knew your visitor would be upset and then to keep the peace you might choose not to go. But going anyway wouldn't be wrong either.

I wouldn’t stand between a friend and her faith, especially not for a couple of hours on Sunday morning. If you were going to be gone a whole day I’d want advance notice though so I could do something else. But Sunday morning - I’d just have a leisurely breakfast and read the news etc.

I was a bit when my SIL left us twice over a weekend for an exercise class, total of 1.5hrs each time. We’d flown 5.5 hours to where she/BIL/their DC live and only had 48 hours there before going onto the next place (going to them was a detour that added time and cost to our trip). That certainly made me feel like she though we were just there to use their house as a hotel. We’ve never been back!

I'm not religious and I would say to a friend, of course, go! I'll be fine for a couple of hours

This atheist wouldn't mind a bit. A Christian friend visiting me wanted to catch a church service on the Sunday morning of his stay and I decided to join him, to admire the stained glass, have a singalong and eat all their custard creams afterwards.

You're not joined at the hip and it's also nice to have a little space during a stay, I prefer that to 100% togetherness TBH.

Bullshit

what a completey strange and erroneous answer

Another bullshit

It is also pretty rude( in my opinion) to tell a complete stranger that the thing they have said is important to them is not in fact important!

She’s staying for five days. She can be in her own for an hour or so, for goodness sake. I am not religious and would never expect a host to miss church on my account.

Of course. It's important to you. I'm sure she won't mind in the least..Just make sure to ask her in a way that does not make her feel obliged to go.with you, because church is a very personal choice.

Yeah of course it's fine, just let her know before she gets to you.

I'd say something like 'Can't wait to see you. On Sunday morning I'm going to church, come along if you want, if not I'll only be a couple of hours, so have a lie in and help yourself to anything while I'm out.'

Actually, as the friend, I would prefer this.
Even when staying with the loveliest, most welcoming of friends, I find the constant need to be "on," to make conversation, to be a good guest, a little overwhelming. It would be a nice relief to have a morning where I could speak to no-one, go back to bed for a hour.
Go to church, invite your friend but be clear that she is under absolutely no obligation, and all will be well.

Personally I think it's rude. You are Christian I am assuming so you don't actually need to go to church to worship god

@NotAnotherScarf Out of interest, would you tell a Sikh that they didn’t need to attend their Gurdwara? Or a Muslim that they didn’t need to attend their Mosque? And that it would be rude for them to do so? Because both of those faiths are able to pray at home. Or is it just Christianity that you see as ok to have a pop at?

Seems fine to me as long as you let her know in advance.

If it takes longer than an hour or two I would find it a tiny bit rude, as I'd rather be getting on with something and not waiting around.

(Side-note: I'm having flashbacks to the time my roman catholic friend tried to make me go to Sunday mass with her, would not accept no for an answer, and then got her monk uncle to give me a talk about needing to find god. I think as long as OP doesn't do any of that, she's golden!)

We have guests all the time (we live abroad) and it has never even entered my head that I needed to curtail my basic daily activities for them. I still go to everything, within reason, and just leave everything they need for breakfast/lunch etc and presume they can work it all out.

@Ruthietuthie Apologies for the quote! I was going to respond to you but got distracted and didn't realize I was still quoting you.