Aibu to not forgive my mother

[Whatisitsailor]

I was pregnant and my little boy died at birth, not long after my mother said she was glad he died as all the men in our family have mental health problems. This is not true btw
I just can't get past this at all. I think it is cruel and unnecessary

My sister says I'm being too hard on my mother

I’m so sorry for your loss OP.

That was an horrendous comment at likely the worst time in your life.

I’m so sorry for your loss 💐

That’s way beyond what I could forgive x

I don't believe in keeping people in your life out of duty or obligation. If my mother said something like that to me I'd have nothing to do with her.

😲 surely you have to assume she has MH issues?

Wtaf is wrong with people? This thread was directly under one where the ops sister basically said her autistic son should have been aborted. I know who I think should have been aborted out of those 3 and it’s not the disabled little boy..

Someone would have had to hold me back because I think I genuinely would have attacked her. I'd never speak to her again the longest day I lived.

I'm so sorry for your loss OP, I hope you have lots of support.

It was an horrendous thing for your mother to say. And your sister minimising your feelings over your mother's comment is almost as bad.
I am so sorry about your baby boy OP. It's a grief beyond description. I hope you have a DH or DP to share this dreadful time with you and supportive friends to help you.

Thankyou all. Yes I have lots of great support thankfully but she really kicked me when I was down. I'm still in disbelief to be honest.
Thankyou all for your input as I'm being made out to be the villain by not only my sister but other family members too

Yes and there is the other thread where an OP's mother made a truly awful comment to the OP about her bad news regarding her long struggle with infertility treatment.
Really upsetting threads which leaves me wondering about the unkindness and lack of normal loving feelings in so many families.
So depressing and unsettling.

Not often you see a 100% agreement on a thread on here. YAbsolutelyANBU

I’m really sorry OP. I can’t imagine in a million years saying that to anyone, never mind someone I’m supposed to love. 💐

What an utterly wicked thing to say, let alone think. The other members of your family must be under her thumb to think she has not said anything wrong.

I am so sorry for your loss x

Oh OP, I am so sorry.

Do you have a good friend and a partner / DH to support you?

Your job now is to put yourself first, do what you can to take care of yourself. Ignore anyone who does not help that.

Tell your DSis right now your grief and getting through each day is as much as you can take, you can’t help anyone else feel better.

If a friend had said that would your reaction be the same? Very likely and you’d have nothing more to do with them and rightly so. Just because it’s your mum doesn’t make it any different it was a cruel and unnecessary comment at a time when you needed love and support.

Yes..That's just not a normal thing to say. You can still see her but just be aware she's probably not very aware of what you do and dont do in life. Some ppl are just not capable of understanding the impact of their behaviour. Detach yourself s bit and take her with a bigger pinch of salt. That way you dont get hurt.

I'd stop speaking to your mum, your sister and the other family members that are blaming you.

It was an unbelievably cruel thing for your mum to say to you and, if I were you, I wouldn't want any of these horrible people in my life.

WTAF have I just read. Wow! How awful for you 💔 so sorry this happened to you.

As for your Mum, I would never ever speak to mine again if she said something so hurtful and disgusting. Dont listen to you sister either!

Thank you all. I have a wonderful husband and great friends who have been nothing but supportive and kind. So I'm very lucky in that sense. I just can't bring myself to see or speak to my mother. It has hurt me so so much, I can't even put into words.
When she said it I was in total shock and just burst into tears and she said oh don't be silly you know I'm right.
She says she has nothing to apologise for as she will.not apologise for speaking the truth.
It's all just too much for me right now on top of my devastating loss