To be worried my teen son won’t grow any more?

[Tradversionok]

He’s not far off 16 and he’s 5ft 6. We are not a family of giants, he’s not shaving or anything, and he’s a late bloomer (grew 6 inches in 14 months) - but I still worry that’s it. No more in the tank. I guess I can’t know.

I worry because I can see him internalise it, brush it off but get upset by it and compare himself to his friends. And I just want him to feel good about himself. To feel confident and to find a girlfriend and feel good about that side of his life (when he’s ready etc)

obviously I boost him all the time. I think he’s wonderful and tell him. I’ve just come here to voice my anxieties.

NAWALT!

2 inches left to grow according to red book - totally doable between 16 and 19.

But I would be more concerned about lack of any other signs of puberty and would be taking him to the Gp for a potential referral to an endocrinologist. By 16, there should be notable signs of puberty including pubic hair, underarm hair, at least SOME facial hair. Also body odor and voice changes. Also changes in testicles etc although that's harder to assess as a mother as we're not usually allowed to take a look at those!

It's all relative too. Those 5ft 10 boys who think they are short as they are part of a tall family, would be classed as absolute giants in my family/area. Ds is on a football team and most of the football dad's are about 5 ft 8. Ex mining community so maybe being short was an advantage at some point! 😆

OP - I'd say you're guilty of projecting your own insecurities with regard to outmoded and outdated societal expectations onto your son ; and unfairly so. If short = 'not male enough', isn't it similar to a father worrying that his daughter is a bit of a tomboy, or doesn't have the physical attributes that society once deemed as 'female enough'? Just a thought.

I think these days, so many men lie about their height that people don't realise how perfectly average 5'6 is. They're envisioning someone who's 5'2. My dad was 5'8 and I remember my sister's boyfriend who was about the same height telling him that he couldn't be only 5'8, because he (boyfriend) was 5'10. My dad of a generation where people used their actual heights just told him he needed to measure again!

This. You can’t control who you are attracted to. I’m not attracted to short, bald or fat men. I have very small breasts, so plenty of men won’t find me attractive.

My husband is from a family of giant men who all grew to their full height by about 14, except for one cousin, who was still 5 foot 6 going into Upper Sixth. By the time of A level exams, he was up there at about 6 foot 3, along with the rest of the family. Nobody could quite believe their eyes, he needed new clothes and shoes every couple of months that year.

It really isn’t important.

Some disgusting (but unsurprising) attitudes on this thread.

What are you talking about? In this instance it’s the boy’s own mother driving the insecurity around her son’s height. Hardly the manosphere!

And this thread is evidence enough that plenty of girls and women do place value on looks and height. Which is absolutely fine - everyone does.

But the suggestions that a slightly shorter man needs medical intervention are not coming from the “manosphere” in this case.

It’s fine to say it’s a fine height to be, but it’s inaccurate to say it is average. It’s below average.

My 5ft 6 almost 16y old is mildly annoyed by being a bit short. School friends tease him and his older brothers are a bit taller, 5ft 8 or 9. He was also tiny as a baby so I'm actually quite pleased he's made it to 5ft 6. Luckily for him, he's incredibly outgoing and gregarious and objectively, attractive, so I dont think it will hold him back too much. He is already very popular with girls his age. He's also doing well academically and predicted a good set of GCSEs and is sporty. So I guess its a 'you can't have all the blessings' type of thing. Im lucky in that his self esteem is fine, as he was just born one of those sunny side up glass half full types. I appreciate this often isnt the case for teenagers though (siblings). But this still seems like an encourage self esteem and focus on the positives situation to me rather than an inject with powerful growth hormones that can have unanticipated side effects one!

All true. You're right to say it.

I am not driving anything. Can it not be possible, just for one moment, that a mother comes on here to unleash her insecurities so that she avoids unleashing them in her home life. And your assumption I'm the cause of my son's insecurity is based on ignorance.

Because it’s essentially bragging. I don’t brag about how my son worked his arse off to get a good uni degree and career.

I love the lad to bits. He’s a lovely young man. My point is naturally being tall is luck/ genetics. It’s not an achievement. Always bragging about how tall your DS does indirectly insult other boys/men who are not tall.

If you look in your red book, there is a really good indicator of adult height based on mum and dad’s heights. It’s to the right of the curve chart.

Also, it’s worth asking his dad or grandparents when his dad did the majority of his growing as a paediatrician told me that a boy’s growth rate normally follows the same pattern as their dad.

God I just find it so sad that height is still seen as so important in men. My OH is 5'6 and is the best man I've ever known - what difference does it ACTUALLY make?

It obviously makes a lot of difference to a lot of men. Most men want to be taller than 5ft 6.

It might be true that he'll grow more, but it's not useful to focus on or hope for that. You, and he, both need to accept he might be short and to learn to love that for him.

It may fly in the face of social messaging but a good life lesson to learn as early as possible is that social messaging is bullshit, and not even remotely reflective of what people will find attractive.

For whatever reason it's more socially acceptable for rude people to go on and on, out loud and in public, about how they could never find short men or fat women attractive - in a way they'd never discuss, say, racial preferences. (Every poster who's taken the time on this thread to explain how they find short men unattractive is one of those rude people.)

But that's just the loudest voices, not the most important ones, or even the majority. Plenty of women do find short men attractive, or only care that the man is taller than them rather than six foot plus, or simply don't care about his height at all.

I too had a 16 year old who was 5’6. He was teased about it at school which upset him. I wasn’t particularly hopeful about his height potential because his dad is 5’9 (as am I). It was more of a problem in his case as he was showing barely any signs of puberty.

I took him to see an endocrinologist and he had an MRI on his brain to check his pituitary, blood tests and bone scans. He was diagnosed with a constitutional delay of puberty and we were advised to wait.

I think he’d have loved some sort of hormone treatment, but the endocrinologist advised us this could affect his height potential as it causes the bone plates to fuse.

As predicted a couple of years later, he had a massive growth spurt and a bone scan revealed he still isn’t done growing. He’s now just over 6’2 (completely developed sexually), and has gone from being the ‘titch’ amongst his friends, to the tallest.

Nonsense. Most boys, maybe. Most teenagers are taken in by conventional, gendered traits as the only way to be good-looking. Most adults grow out of that and accept their body for what it is by their mid-20s.

I've heard more men complain about being too tall than too short - they always seem to be hitting their heads on things and unable to fit in places.

The grass will always seem greener to a teenage boy.

I have the opposite issue - a tall 16 year old who is crippled with insecurity over a huge slab of stretch marks on his back and is furious he's still growing. He wouldn't even take his top off on holiday this summer poor bugger. And no, they won't eventually disappear, they're incredibly deep and red, i've never seen the like of them before. You can feel every deep hollow of them, he's probably going to have permanent scarring and they cover a third of his back.

Anyway, he would trade places with one of his 5ft 6 friends in a heartbeat. All you can do is offer support and reassurance.

My eldest really shot up after he left school - he was very small before that. At 20 he's now 5'10 so not a giant but reasonably tall. Give it a little more time

My son was similar. He hit puberty nearer 15. He’s now 18 and 6ft

DS1 had a massive growth spurt at 12 and was 5'8 by the age of 13. Then he hardly grew and was 5'9 by 16. He then grew a but more and ended up just under 6ft

DS2 had puberty quite late and was only about 5'7" on his 16th birthday. All his friends towered above him. Then he had a growth spurt and was 6'2" by 18. He's grown maybe another inch since then I think.

My sister is 5'1" and very petite. All her boyfriends were relatively short, and her husband is 5'7". They are perfectly in proportion with each other.

If you're worried, talk to the gp. But I think it's within the norm for boys to grow up to about age 20