To find this desperately sad? TW: freebirth death

[ExtraHotDoubleShot]

I just feel so sad for her husband and little boy. I also understand why she didn’t want to go into hospital. Feels like women are stuck between a rock and a hard place with childbirth at the moment.

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2026/jun/20/stacey-warnecke-melbourne-influencer-died-freebirth-inquest-ntwnfb

Well my pregnancies at 26 and 29 were perfect and my 42 year old one died so for me it did make a difference.

No but just saying.

I'm a massive home birth advocate btw. But I do think age can be a risk factor.

@Fatsnowflake I'm so sorry, but you can't say that was solely due to being an older mother.

Different father too. Again- makes a difference.

The issue I had was absolutely age related.

What does age have to do with the current case though? She was only 30 and very fit and healthy.

@Fatsnowflake Were you advised to have a hospital birth?

Does it??

The only pattern I’ve noticed (which will sound bizarre) is when somebody has multiple kids of the same gender, and it all goes fine, then one of the opposite gender and for some reason it is much bumpier. Is this a thing as well?

Which makes it even scarier.

No. Before I found out the diagnosis I was told I could have a home birth. Had I continued with my pregnancy post diagnosis it would have been specialist hospital and many many medics. I chose to terminate. But it was an age related risk.

I think different father can make a difference, yes.

I wouldn't personally have home birthed with a first baby either. Dd1 was hospital.

@Fatsnowflake I understand. So you would have been strongly advised that a hospital birth in your case for this baby would have been recommended.
That doesn't of course make it the case for all older mothers.
I am so sorry you had to make such an awful decision x

It doesn't really. I suppose that the risk of a medically managed home birth in a low risk pregnancy is as low as it can be. She was healthy but not medically supported in labour which is intrinsically dangerous.

My baby would almost certainly not have survived a home birth yes. But there are certainly age related risks that appear later and at birth. It's up to the mother though and her medical team to advise as it's a case by case basis.

Something needs to change...

England and the wider UK rank relatively poorly in maternity and birth safety compared to many other high-income Western and European nations. 1, 2]

Global and European Ranks

• OECD Patient Safety Ranking: In the Global State of Patient Safety report, the UK ranks 21st out of 38 OECD countries, with reports noting that maternity and neonatal care safety have stagnated or worsened. 1, 2]
• European Maternal Mortality: A major study published in the BMJ and highlighted by The Guardian found that the UK has the second-highest maternal death rate among eight major European nations (behind only Slovakia). 1, 2]

Childbirth used to be pretty dangerous. So many women and babies died in childbirth before medical help was available. Perhaps my baby would have been one of them. The midwives and doctors monitored his heart rate and recommended an emergency c section when they detected he was in distress. I think women naively idealise childbirth as this poor deluded woman did. Hospitals aren’t ideal but they’re better than haemorrhaging, infections and stillbirths.

@dcthatsme But not any safer than at home for subsequent, low risk pregnancies.

There is definitely something wrong with the way women are treated in hospital. The birth of my own second child over 30 years ago was horribly mismanaged and we nearly lost him. I read here that the same things, exactly the same things, are still happening. Treating women like cattle needs to stop.

I took the decision to have my third child at home. But I wouldn't have been able to make that decision without significant positive midwife support. I believe a lot of this support has now been cut due to funding issues. And no one really cares about the birthing women. So they try and find the strength to go it alone and they make terrible choices because they're immersed in an echo chamber.

Both my grandmothers died in childbirth. My parents were both orphaned at an early age. Neither family could afford the doctor's fees in the 1920s, much less a nice hospital. It feels like we're going back to these times. Lots of women hear all the awful news about hospital fatalities during childbirth and they just sort of want out of that factory farm. I can understand why. Especially as a good friend of mine is a midwife in our local hospital and ... I mean I don't want to say too much because I know what it's like to be pregnant and frightened. But really, women should be allowed to expect better. They deserve to feel as if everyone has their best interests at heart and they will be safe, both physically and psychologically.

I dk - I don’t know enough about the stats. As long as the option for medical help is there and midwives are super competent and not overloaded perhaps. I’m not sure I’d want a home birth tbh. Just to be on the safe side.

This very week it's been in the news that as many as a fifth of current baby deaths in the UK could have been prevented by better care. So NHS maternity services are far from perfect.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cmqln5zqxnwko

But despite known NHS failings, if Stacey had been in hospital in any developed country including the UK, I cannot believe that she'd have died. They'd have recognised that she was bleeding to death.

They were safe for you because you didn’t haemorrhage. No one can predict what will happen. I don’t think the fact she’s at Oxford University is relevant!

Yes exactly.
But it would also be good for stats to be produced unassisted births the rate is
1 in x many

Along with
1 in x many home births need transfer to hospital

So people have very clear odds on the numbers of home births who need the hospital safety net.

I get back in the day hospitals had more interference than necessary, ie nearly all women were cut to prevent tears, but they were also well looked after in hospital with rest for 4/5 days after the birth. Not stuck on a ward expected to care for their baby themselves

What do you mean never safe? Lots of babies are born at home. I was born at home because my mom progressed too quickly to go to a hospital, we were both completely fine.

I don't understand how people can claim home births are safer than hospital births when for centuries women were dying in childbirth BECAUSE there were no hospitals or proper medical care. It's totally going backwards to the dark ages.