To find this desperately sad? TW: freebirth death

[ExtraHotDoubleShot]

I just feel so sad for her husband and little boy. I also understand why she didn’t want to go into hospital. Feels like women are stuck between a rock and a hard place with childbirth at the moment.

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2026/jun/20/stacey-warnecke-melbourne-influencer-died-freebirth-inquest-ntwnfb

This was her first child so it’s not even like she’d had a previous traumatic experience that made her fear hospitals. She’d just read it all on the internet presumably, and we all know how reliable that is.

I can't say or do anything. This is so very sad. Misjudged too, to but incredily sad.

I have so many similar stories. My colleague was turned away from hospital several times, gave birth at home and had a huge PPH and had to be blue lighted to hospital seriously unwell.

I was induced and left in a cubicle, did a whole 14 hour labour in there because they kept telling me I ‘couldn’t be in labour because I had only had the pessary. Despite everything being very very very obvious. They only noticed when DS head was visible. He hadn’t been properly monitored and was by that point quite poorly. I was alone in that cubicle all night with nobody with me, very scary. Then lots of issues with the midwives trying to change the series of events to lessen their liability. I just don’t trust them

I was adamant I was going to have my third baby at home, following two quite frankly unsafe hospital births (my son suffered permanent hearing damage after a student mw made mistakes).
I was booked in with the NHS team from the get-go but found out about three weeks before my due date that the team had suspended "due to Covid"; basically because the homebirth staff had all been called in to help in the hospital.
Absolutely no way was I going to have my baby in hospital; not least that a condition of my husband being there to see the birth of his first and last child was for me to allow a midwife's fingers unecessarily into my vagina for a pointless internal to assess progress.
Absolutely not.
However, I was in the fortunate position (which I totally appreciate that not all are) to employ an incredible Independent Midwife as I used some savings I had. 1-1 care in early stages and 2-1 care as labour progressed and throughout delivery.
Not all women are able to do this and I can see, especially in light of recent reports, that a growing number of women deem NHs hospital births as unsafe.

I’m sorry that happened to you @ExtraHotDoubleShot

My birth with DS was a shitshow and he is an only child mainly due to that experience.

Women and babies deserve so much better.

I think that she fell into the trap of thinking that women have been giving birth for millennia and the human race survives.

The risks of birth are often minimised, particularly by men, and it’s often forgotten that, historically pregnancy and birth has always been extremely risky.

Yes. I’m sorry to admit I used to think homebirthers were selfish and that anyone complaining about their hospital treatment were probably just dissatisfied with how their birth went and blamed the medical care. I actually didn’t believe care as bad as mine could really exist until I experienced it.

Until you’ve been through a hospital birth that is so inept as to be dangerous, you really have no clue I’m afraid. A homebirth with a midwife would have been safer for me because at least we would’ve been monitored properly, but I wasn’t given that option as I was ‘high risk’.

Whilst I really sympathise with you and believe that maternity care needs huge improvements, I don't think anyone should choose to get pregnant if they are so against medical care.

Regardless of how bad an experience someone had in hospital, not accessing life saving treatment, should you need it, is selfish. Parents don't have the luxury of being that careless with their own health.

Home births, with transfer to hospital if needed, are an option for women who believe birth will be easier and less stressful at home.

As I said though it wasn’t an option for me. I was told in no uncertain terms that they wouldn’t do it; I had to go to hospital.

@ExtraHotDoubleShot What reason was given?

Pre existing medical condition - type 1 diabetes

Something like 1 in 20 births ended in the mother's death in the pre-industrial period. This poor woman was given terrible advice.

What are the current stats on maternity in the UK?

@ExtraHotDoubleShot But you still had the option; they could inform you the pros and cons (quite rightly), but nobody can force you into a hospital birth.

I can't get over how cold and uncaring the supposed 'birthkeeper' is

No but they wouldn’t work with me to produce a different plan either. And I thought winging it wouldn’t be safe.

I thought she was very cold.

She didn’t seem at all moved or upset. She just wanted to downplay her role in everything she said.

Wow the "birth friend" sounds horrible!! Her statements are utterly callous.

I feel that because she was a nutritionist and influencer she decided to blog and vlog the process for social media

As they say, labour is only ever normal in hindsight. Neither of my labours was straightforward, though neither was expected to be difficult. For myself I was just profoundly grateful for the prompt and excellent obstetric help I was given, which left me alive and well - albeit a bit sore! - with a healthy baby both times.

Non-clinical birth attendants shouldn't be giving medical advice ("you're probably having a panic attack" in this case). If they can't stay within their competency boundaries, then I agree they shouldn't be legal. Any non-medically qualified friend or birth partner would be quick to summon emergency help in this situation, but the freebirth movement is actively antagonistic to medical care and that's always going to be a problem for labouring women.

I had a home birth after a traumatic hospital birth, and by all accounts hospital obstetrics is in a terrible state compared with my time, but the reality is that childbirth carries risks and labouring women need to be informed about them, and realistic about switching course if necessary. The freebirth movement hinders on both counts.

The countless women who over millenia died in labour or just after would have been grateful of trained midwives, doctors, antibiotics and a nice clean theatre. This isn't about being scared of hospitals, it's an "I know best" ill educated mentality.

She could’ve opted for a midwife attended home birth, deliberately birthing without an experienced medical professional is irresponsible.

(I know it happens in the US due to healthcare prices)

Not necessarily an intense fear. Lots of quite batshit people buy into this rather extreme ideology that all forms of medical intervention are wrong and completely unnecessary, big pharma is evil and all you need is for nature to take its course.

Unfortunately, in this case, it did.

STTE. Free birthing is dangerous and stupid.