AIBU- I’m the most important person in my life

[youareminebestfavourite]

Context: I was applying some fake tan and I asked my husband to come in and tan my back.
He asked why I needed my back tanned, if no one else is going to see it, apart from him and I.

I replied that it makes me feel much better about myself if I look fully tanned and not patchy when I see myself naked.
I’m 50, I have some wobbly bits and this is a small
Action I can take to help me feel put together.

He asked why I was so bothered about how I look to myself and I said, I’m the most important person in my life, if I don’t like myself and feel good about myself, then how can I do the best for anyone else… it’s the emotional equivalent of putting your own life jacket on first.

He was super offended because he thinks I don’t care about him now, because he says I’m the most important person in his life, so I should say the same thing about him.

I replied that I had lived 25 years before I met him and I love him wholeheartedly, but I’m the only person who I will have in my life for every minute of every day, so why does he have a problem with me doing some physical self care.

AIBU

It was a really tactless thing to say.

It's also nonsense. If it was really about feeling good about yourself, and your opinion is the only thing that influences that, why would it matter what your back looks like?

Oh good we’re adding fake tan to the things MN is faux confused snobby about.

@GildedFrames

its not harmful though, is it. Come on now.
do you not wear makeup too for the same reason?

Which harmful chemicals? Can you name them?

It’s just an odd and narcissistic way to say it,

It’s actually a very cruel sentiment, second only to ‘you need to love yourself before others can love you’. I have known many people who had a hard time loving and respecting themselves because of some horrific trauma and abuse. They were, however, perfectly loving and respectful of those close to them, and adored by those people in return. I think it’s just something trite that people trot out unthinkingly, like ‘live, laugh, love’ or something, but I wonder if the people who say it ever think about the damage it could do to people who are already struggling with their self image.

For you.

It just gives me a bit of a glow and moisturizes my skin. I don’t end up pumpkin coloured like Trump.