To ask if we're the only ones who don't make Xmas plans months in advance

[BelleHathNoFury]

The AIBU threads started in August (maybe earlier) with people angsting about spending Xmas with MIL or Uncle Bill, travelling here and there, how to make Christmas "magical."

Are we the only family who doesn't make Xmas plans months in advance? We live a couple hours drive - in different directions - but sort it out nearer the time. And with little drama.

Everyone comes to us and has done for the last 16 years at least . So nothing to plan, when I say everyone it was two parents and two in laws now it’s one parent and one in law. They are picked up about three fed and watered and driven home about seven. Job done.

im an only child married to an only child with an only child. So that’s easy.

No I don’t either.. Christmas is one day!

Christmas is 3 days 😁 Christmas eve, Christmas day, St Stephens day. (it's 12 though until epiphany, but these 3 are usually gathering days)

Its the annual bore Xmas plans.

Shame they all can't be moved to the Christmas board too

We never make plans either. Often my dm phones on Christmas morning to say they'll head down with the presents (2.5 hour drive), so they obviously stay for the day.

I like making plans early. We usually do 24-26 at home with the kids so mostly now we make plans to balance seeing everyone else in December. Add in a couple of December birthdays, some Christmas outings, work parties, friend get togethers, a school nativity or whatever and suddenly December is full to the rafters and we've not spent time with Grandma. So I like to get family locked in early before all the other stuff gets in the way.

Agree
They've been brainwashed. They think every year this is what they have to do.

We gave that up just after Covid restrictions were lifted. Three weeks in Spain every year since. So the only planning I do is hunt for flights. Family supply the accommodation. How lucky are we. I do appreciate the freedom and the generosity.

Hopefully won't spend Christmas at home for a long time, until unable to travel actually! Our disappearance is totally accepted by the rest of the family, we are all adults and there's no guilt trips anywhere to be seen. Thankfully!

I'm not paying for rubbish seats at pantos, or missing out on shows/events, so I plan in advance. Our family worked across Health/SS etc, so we'd plan our Christmas on a different day, but someone would fit elderly etc relatives in. Christmas for us, is a season, we stopped doing presents and started doing events, so all in, it takes planning. People say they don't start thinking about it until December, but everything decent is sold out. You wouldn't get requested days off etc. I've just put my M&S order in, come the end of this month's payday and the slots will be gone, as well as the cheese and the cheaper turkey crowns. If you just do Christmas as one day, it probably doesn't take much. I can see it's already been suggested that the planners are just caught up in consumerism, but I'd say the planners are usually the ones actually doing stuff and not wanting December to be stressful. Church and community groups start to think about Christmas just after the Harvest Festival. Stir up Sunday is the 22nd November this year.

We’ve already discussed Christmas with DPs parents.

You have to get in early and mark your territory or you can easily get swamped and not see your own home for days!😄
When I met DP, I also met them for the first time in the October. By that Christmas, I’d been pulled in to the vortex of “what they wanted” Even during the Covid Christmas, they became suddenly “very ill” and we had to go and cook,
help, nurse, dogsbody. They were not ill at all and admitted such. It was to get round the Covid rules😡

My Christmas Days thereafter for years, consisted of not only cooking for me, DP and the Ddog, but cooking and prepping a buffet to be taken there Boxing Day. Absolutely no rest at all.

Fortunately, DPs father has gone off me ( since I stopped kowtowing and doing what I’m told, & running round for him whilst he was rude and unpleasant to me) so it’s all now on the day after Boxing Day.
Still got a tiny trickle of dread building up…

We plan in advance, mainly as I have 2 sisters who live a 5 hour train/1h flight plus to and from. Their partners have family in other locations. My OH's family have other considerations.

Booking some things in December requires a bit of being on it if you want to do them e.g. the ballet or restaurant for family get together I have booked is no longer available now.

None of it a stress or massive drama, just sorting diaries out and really doesn't take too much time.

spinster DD will come to us

Hope you don't call her that in her presence 😂

In terms of „hosting“ or the time I have to spend with someone I’d rather not it’s four hours, that’s how I see it!

I’m trying my hardest to wait as long as possible so that we get the glory for inviting the miserable ILs, but sadly they won’t attend as they’ll already be with one of the other kids. What a pity. Fingers crossed!

We do sort it months in advance but then we have a fair few options and a fair amount of travel to factor in.

We have a rule of only going to one house on xmas day, we don't want to be travelling around.

We have two sets of parents locally although one of them alternates between home and being in Scotland, we then also have another set of parents in Scotland who usually host around 20 people on boxing day.

We have to find a way of trying to see all of them over the christmas period, sometimes travelling to Scotland, sometimes not so it does take a lot of planning.

I loathe Christmas for all sorts of reasons but primarily because my mother, who is still alive and ancient makes and has always made so much fuss about it. It's unbearable. The result is I make no plans. I'm very nice to people I spend Christmas with but like someone has already mentioned I'm very glad when it's over.

I don’t either op. We might discuss which meat the kids want for dinner around the beginning of December but otherwise couldn’t give a shit. We have our plans and everyone else can do as they please. Always good to have a spontaneous drop in or invite but happy to finish work, munch nuts, drink baileys and watch Christmas telly til it’s all over.

I do love the threads though. It makes me so relieved I haven’t got all this neurotic planning and running around.

We make no plans , well we plan to be home with no visitors, so I suppose that’s a plan 😂

We have the same Xmas day plans each year. But do a week in our home town mid December - this needs to be arranged in advance to ensure family are free (the reason for the trip) and allow us to book accommodation. I also host a post Christmas Day party for friends - also needs to be arranged in advance to ensure people are free as some have to travel - it’s always the same week but the date changes.

I don't know. I spend time only with people I do want to spend time with

Well I only spend time with one person i don’t want to and only very limited time! Joys of being an only child.

That’s the spirit

Not months in advance, no. Maybe early to mid November. And by plans I mean confirm with everyone that they are welcome at hours- again! Funny how no one else ever seems to volunteer…….I love it really.

We go away 23rd till 30th December to a coastal cottage so I book it about June. Other than that....dd visits the week before. I never host or visit people.

Make plans nearer the time based on leave from work (not confirmed yet) but roughly the same plans each year so not much decision making needed.