To ask if we're the only ones who don't make Xmas plans months in advance

[BelleHathNoFury]

The AIBU threads started in August (maybe earlier) with people angsting about spending Xmas with MIL or Uncle Bill, travelling here and there, how to make Christmas "magical."

Are we the only family who doesn't make Xmas plans months in advance? We live a couple hours drive - in different directions - but sort it out nearer the time. And with little drama.

Is it sort of assumed you’ll do the same or similar as prior years?

With the in-laws it’s understood we won’t see them on actual Xmas but will see them around a week prior, at whoever’s house and who’s bringing what is decided closer to the time too.

There's a happy medium. We usually start to make plans once the clocks go back at the end of this month. My son and his family would leave it until the week before if they weren't pestered! Why spoil the end of the summer even thinking about the middle of winter...

Surely it depends a lot on family dynamics. If you’ve got people who are relatively chilled who all get on then great, if you’re juggling different personalities and complicated relationships it needs a bit more planning.

All of our relatives know they aren’t allowed round for Christmas. It’s a general rule. Boxing Day at mums is a thing. 23rd at the in-laws is a thing.
21st & 22nd delivering gifts is a thing.
Same as every other year, TBH. The only time it was different was when we were at Haven for Christmas.

DD is a nurse, we plan well in advance.

Yes, you are the only people in the world that do this! I’m surprised there hasn’t been a documentary made about you.

I don't make plans at all, my family know we stay home for christmas. 😂 not traveling half way down the country for the sake of one day.

We do but mostly because we are required to agree what annual leave we are taking at work.

I plan everything months in advance so Christmas is no exception.

Like so many things, it depends! You might have a small family, all local, all spontaneous and happy to host or visit. Or you might have a widely spread family who work shifts, have children, can't or wont' travel, have regimentally-inclined in-laws of their own with expectations...

Not everyone can leave arrangements loose without someone getting left out. Some people need more notice than others of Christmas intentions.

I like to plan Boxing Day for the following year, more of a “so you’re at ours next year/where are we next year”.

I come from a large family, so it’s always been a thing to plan next year while you’re with everyone. I know it’s strange.

Just edited to say we are all local too (except in laws who are only 45mins away), which makes it even more ridiculous now I think of it! 🙈

Well I try and ignore Christmas, and New Year, as much as I can for as long as I can.
The blessed relief of when January 6 can't come soon enough for me.
It's all just a massive retail fest and falseness. Why can't people just be kinder to each other all year rather than this charade of present giving and insincere professions of goodwill at Christmas?

We go away every Christmas now so the choosing and booking happens in September. That's all the planning we need (although someone did invite us back in May!).

Ive got a lot of siblings so my parents rotate round and anything involving everyone getting together is complicated as it involves 19 people in total with all the kids & spouses, so working out who stays over & where everyone sleeps takes planning.

We also like to order a really good turkey from our local butcher & so we want to know how big to go!!

If planning things like christmas pantos or shows tickets go months ahead, you cant wing it.

We've not discussed plans yet, although one relative tried to in August and we were all so shocked the conversation stalled! I suspect we leave it later as we'll do something similar to every other year and there are only so many different combinations to relatives invited.

Normally end up making arrangements the week before, we don't have much family so it's basically whether we're spending it with BIL and family or just us and who will host. This year we don't know whether we'll have moved into our new house by then; must admit I'd quite like to know that at least!

We do the same thing every year, so no planning or angst required.

Our kids are still at the stage where they can't host us, so it's everyone over here.

The only question is how many actual meals will they be here for, and getting their rooms ready (ie getting all my junk put away).

It's fair to outline rough plans - are you meeting with others on/around the dates? Are you going for holidays instead and want to meet before/after?

I won’t think about it for another month at least. I hid the Christmas topic because it’s full of stress and rampant consumerism.

We travel internationally when we spend Christmas with my family so that does take planning in advance. There’s 18 of us living in 5 different countries.

alternate years we are in the uk, and tend to ask dh’ parents if they want to come join us around this time of year just so they don’t worry.

circumstances and family dynamics play quite a big role in how much planning is involved.

We dont start planning until roughly middle of November. I have two adult DC who live in different areas (eldest is a 3 hour drive away), and one teen still at home. As long as I know who is going where by beginning of December so I can plan the shopping then I'm fine.

We don’t plan, I don’t think it’s unusual. The kids and spouses may or may not come around but there isn’t enough of us for it to need massive planning. We decide what we are eating the week before. We just go with the flow and always seem to have a lovely time. I guess we know we will be at our home so there is no reason to worry about it.
we also do quite low key decorations and presents.

If you want to book events you have to do it in August/September for some reason otherwise tickets will be sold out.

My sister informed me in June that she wasn't hosting boxing day as she is taking her family and our mother away. I'm heartbroken not to see my Mum over Christmas as she is in her nineties and we missed seeing her on Mother's Day this year as our flight back from a trip to the US was delayed by 20 hours.

We'll still have a lovely time but I will miss my mum.

Never make plans we always just spend Christmas with just me DH and kids so nothing to plan. We never travel here there and everywhere around Christmas.