Humblebrag neighbour?

[Cokeandfudge]

My neighbour has a habit of oversharing and I usually just smile and nod but she’s really pissed me off this time and I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable to feel like this.

She and her long term partner must be late fifties/early sixties and both only work part time now. She said she was worried about their finances when they retire because they ONLY have final salary pensions worth about £20k, pension pots of £400k each plus joint savings of £800k.

Surely, she must know that is good and was just humblebragging to make me feel bad? I feel quite pissed off about it and really worried about my retirement if it is reasonable for her to be worried.

It may very well be a humble brag, but how did she intend to make you feel bad? Have you spoken about your own retirement circumstances?

Why has it worried you? Just let her get on with it and go about your day.
She must feel insecure or desperate to seem better than her neighbour.

You can have some fun with this one. Say, “Oh - the government are going to absolutely hammer that, aren’t they? It’s really worrying. I’m so glad I saw a personal advisor in time.” I have no idea which government will be hammering it and how, but a mysterious forecast of doom will give her something to google.

These are making me chuckle 😆

I haven’t spoken to her about my finances at all but my retirement circumstances are much worse than hers so I’m not sure if hers are unusually good or mine are unusually bad.

Obviously I am worried about my retirement situation now

Yeah, be effusively sympathetic 😄

why you think she was trying to imply anything about your retirement plans is a fucking mystery to me. You say she has a HABIT of oversharing - this is about her HABITUAL way of communicating rather than any sneaky out-down of you.

your reaction is also about you not her. You feel insecure about your retirement plans maybe?

Calm down, it’s really not that difficult to understand.

Rubbish. She's a braggard, she's pretty much a millionaire.

Just lean into it. ‘Oh gosh, Barbara. What are you going to do?’

If I was certain she wasn’t really anxious, but just bragging, I would be inclined to look very worried and agree that it will be very difficult to manage. Maybe suggest she takes in ironing.

Are others in a similar financial situation or is she doing well?

Others are indeed, but the best I'd suggest is using the money saving expert calculators to work out how much you need to work and when you can retire based on your own situation, and ignore other people's situation.
Doesn't matter if someone has a million and you have 200k if they love fine dining and flash cars and you love your allotment and ride a bicycle

I’d be glad of £200k 😟

I think you're missing the point. My point is don't compare, work out your own situation

Why on earth so much in savings? They should have more of that in pension? Hopefully it is at least in ISAs. Anyway, like anything, it depends on expectation and lifestyle. Do they wear Rolex, drive Porsche and holiday on yachts? Maybe they are right to worry. But for most people, they are in a great position and surely know it.

Talk is cheap. She's not necessarily telling the truth. I mean, why would you even detail all your financial info to a neighbour? I know she is an over sharer, but that isn't even that interesting to most people. "Oh dear, thats a shame, never mind" would have been my response.

I wouldn't see that as a humble brag. It is over sharing, but then I quite like over sharers.

I reckon she's making it all up and living in fantasy land. Got a few bob in the bank but has added a zero to the amount!

I think I'd say "that's nice" and immediately ask about her dog. 😊

This is what I’d do too!!!

’oh goodness - hopefully all will be ok for you’

Not a very 'humble' brag.

A quick Google suggests 2 x £400K pension pots will bring in about £50K-£60K per annnum if they take it at 60. Conservatively invested, £800K will yield over £30K per annum in interest (and that's not touching the capital). Plus £20K final salary (between them?), so at least £100K per annum. When both their state pensions kick in, this will increase significantly.

I'd guess she's exaggerating the figures, has an extraordinarily extravagant lifestyle, or has a very low worry threshold.

I wouldn't worry about your pension based on this comparison, but if it's got you concerned, you could take the opportunity to check your own pension position, decide if there's any action you want to take, and put your mind at ease.

A humblebrag is a statement that hides a boast, self-promotion, or proud achievement behind a fake complaint, self-criticism, or false modesty

Appreciate this, just amused by the extremity of her humblebrag!

That’s what I wasn’t sure about. Whether her position was unusually good or mine was unusually bad. Hopefully the former from what you say.