I broke up with my ex earlier this year but can’t help ruminating on some of the stuff he did to me over the years and just wondering if others agree that this stuff is truly awful or am I being dramatic? I think I’m only just processing some of it but one of the worst things he did which I can’t stop thinking about is that when I’d just had our youngest child I was up in the night breastfeeding and found loads of messages on his phone to various women on multiple different apps and websites. When I say there were hundreds of apps and thousands of women I’m not exaggerating. He had even been video calling them and doing sexual stuff on camera while I was asleep in the next room. This had been going on throughout my pregnancy and then after our child was born. The baby was only 6 weeks old when I discovered it and I was about to go back to work that week but I had to go to the gp and get signed off as my mental health was so bad.
Anyway he convinced me that it was all my fault and I had been neglecting his needs during the pregnancy. So I forgave him but it mentally just about killed me. I ended up with postpartum psychosis and being hospitalised. I keep having flashbacks of my elderly parents having to stay in the hospital holding my hand until about 4am while I waited for a psych evaluation. And my partner had buggered off back home to sleep 🥲
Not sure exactly what the point of this post is except just to get it out and off my chest and maybe someone out there has been through similar and can relate as I feel quite alone with it all 😕