DC accused of bullying

[PeachyPotatoes]

I received a text on Friday evening from a parent at my daughter’s school. She got my number from a nursery group chat. She alleged that my daughter, 7, is bullying her daughter who is in the same class by; kicking her under the table, bumping into her deliberately, inviting her over to play they telling her to go away, and the worst of all, throwing her lunchbox across the playground after inviting her to sit with her and her two friends.
I was absolutely shocked by these allegations; my daughter is kind and friendly, confident and just lovely. However, I’m not there at school, so I told the Mother I would speak with my DC.
I asked DC what she thought about this other girl in the first instance. She said she was “alright” but that they weren’t friends. I asked if anything had happened between them. She described the lunchbox incident, but said it was another child who had done it and my DC had helped pick up the contents of the lunchbox. I then explained this child was going home upset every day after school, allegedly because of her. DC had no idea why she would say that.
I then phoned the Mother and outlined what my DC had said. The Mother was friendly, but adamant that my DC was systematically bullying her DC. I advised her to contact the school, as this is where these alleged incidents have taken place. I also emailed the school to inform them.
The school replied and said they were completely unaware of any issues between the two DC and had any of that been going on, the teacher would have seen it. They advised my DC to speak with the teacher should anything happen with the other DC.

I’m so taken aback by all of this. Firstly that the Mother, who I don’t know, got my number from a completely unrelated source. Secondly the allegations which are awful. When I spoke with my DC regarding this, I warned her should anything be happening at all, it ends now. She assured me nothing is happening.

Im absolutely torn. I believe my DC, but I’m of course concerned for the other DCs welfare. The school are keeping a close eye. If my DC is innocent, why have these allegations been made? According to the Mother, she has been discussing this with other parents. I’m not happy my DC has been labelled a bully when there is no evidence. Where do I take it from here?

Aibu to believe my DC?

Sorry should have added! My point being that had the above girl been kept on a better path earlier, I think she could have turned out a very different girl who is not remembered poorly by her victims and not in serious trouble now at secondary where it starts to really matter. She had many great qualities, including the real ability to lead, it’s just that she mis used them from an early age and grew to enjoy the power. Hopefully getting in big trouble now in Y8 will be the kicker she needs.

Yeah, it starts by kids joking, being 'funny' or being a bit silly.

My DC has tendencies this way so I keep an eye out. In his case, he wouldn't necessarily be intending to hurt anyone's feelings and would feel very foolish and upset to be called a 'bully', but he's definitely capable of disregarding or overriding someone else's feelings to get a laugh without necessarily appreciating how upsetting it might be for them or that he might have crossed a line.

I am also told by the teachers that he is a 'lovely boy' who never gives them any worry and is generally liked. I have hopes that if I continue to reinforce acceptable behaviour and teach him to be considerate of others' feelings, this will actually be the case.

Parents need to be vigilant. If you have a confident child who influences others, please ask yourself if they are using their abilities for good or mischief.

Any update @PeachyPotatoes?

The school investigated the lunchbox incident and it was indeed the child my daughter named. She also did actually help to pick up the contents, all verified by the two PSAs who witnessed it.
As to the other incidents, we’re no further forward. The school informed me they would let me know immediately if there were any bullying incidents reported or witnessed, and so far, nothing.

That’s great. Have you told the mother? Or have the school?

Oh @PeachyPotatoesI am so glad your daughter has been vindicated re the lunch box.
I do hope the mother involved knows.
Hoping all will be well going forward.

That's great. My sister kept complaining that a girl was bullying her when she was around 5 years old, but it wasn't true.

I had had same issue but on estate where I live.
2 kids can't abide each other but 1 constantly says things about the other.
It turned out that the one going home and telling leading to parents arguing was the one that was causing the problems

Kids! Hope it gets sorted but try and go no contact with the other mum

Yup, this crossed my mind too

As I said, my child’s version of events has been proven to be accurate and she did actually help.

It doesn't matter OP. Some people have just decided your child is a bully 😅. Tbf some parents are oblivious as to what their children are capable of but you don't strike me as one of those. Happy to hear that your daughter was telling the truth.