Are you neurodivergent?

[fintangel]

Have you been diagnosed with, or do you suspect you might have ADHD or ASD or a combination or both?

YABU = yes
YANBU = no, I’m definitely neurotypical

Agree with all of this.

To be fair what is the point in going through an expensive and protracted assessment through the creaking NHS when you’re working, dating, having kids etc and functioning?

Where are you seeing this? I don’t see this at all. The majority of women with autism and adhd try to hide it in order to avoid bullying, stigma and because of shame.

You don’t know if she’s functioning. There are many many reasons to have a diagnosis and certainly so if you are under any mental health or hospital service.

Everyone I know who got one did it to ‘know themselves better’ which to me is a waste of NHS funds.

Wow talk about dismissing disability.

What is NT? This may sound like it's not a genuine question or is goading but I am really interested in people who say they are NT makes them say that.
Do NT people find socialising and managing day to day life comes naturally with just the expected level of nerves and stress? So things like nervous for interviews but can naturally chat with strangers and can go to a party without feeling really anxious? Can communicate well but might struggle if really tired? Can fall behind on housework if working extra hours or extra social events but generally keep on top of cleaning the home, remembering medication, appointments, bills etc?
Masking is interesting to me too. I understand masking thing like stiming is common for autistic people, but do we all mask to an extent or are NT people always authentic. No being extra polite with new people or forcing smiles or laughs because everyone else is doing that?

Massive online ‘reveals’ where they post about finding themselves etc

Just because someone is functioning in the part of their lives that you see, or that they're willing to share with you, doesn't mean they're fine.

My grandmother was clearly autistic, she was institutionalised when menopause hit. My mother was likely autistic, she coped with socialising with wine, until it overtook her and she died from it. My uncle is clearly autistic, he had two failed marriages and three (fortunately unsuccessful) suicide attempts before he was diagnosed.

All had families, jobs, were considered 'functioning' until they weren't. No one around them knew what they were going through privately.

I do agree with that when it comes to autism. ADHD can be medicated so a bit different, but if your coping with life but want to understand yourself better why not just read some books about it and figure out if that's you.

If she was institutionalised then she wasn’t fine. None of the people I see are remotely close to being sectioned. They live full exciting lives, far more exciting than mine, yet everything is ‘my ADHD brain’

I thought everybody was?

Did I miss a meeting?

Yes, I can do all that.
Sometimes I get a bit stressed and I will always be a bit of a messy Bessy, but I think that's normal.
Therefore I believe I am NT.
I would not say I am always authentic. Sometimes I have to pretend to be happy, calm or interested. I believe that's normal too.

Everything seems to be put down to Autism or ADHD now. Maybe it was autism or ADHD all along that led to mental health disorders and addiction. Or maybe things like PTSD, bipolar, anxiety, learning difficulties, addiction are conditions of their own and nothing to do with autism or ADHD.

If you have an autism or ADHD diagnosis it is severely impacting your life, there are many ways you might not be functioning that might not be visible..

Having a diagnosis helps with your understanding which helps you navigate the world and shame better. It also helps you manage risky behaviours such as self medication, impulsivity, self harm etc better. It also helps in getting treatment adjusted which saves a lot of money in the long run.

There's a reason they're in prison, ADHD makes you impulsive. It doesn't mean it is a mental health condition. If there are mental health conditions alongside it, there's no wonder with how deliberating it can be but in the right environment (a largely impossible one in modern UK) having ADHD does equate to poor mental health

No because I do not accept that there is a neuro normal, or if it ever existed that it would be valuable.

In my experience people aren't getting treatment for autism, they do for ADHD but in my area people are diagnosed then sent on their way to carry on as they were. Usually back to the same MH team that wasn't much use to them.

I've explained this in another thread but autistic masking is not what you think of as masking, ie adjusting to whether you're talking to your boss on a bad day or friends on a night out.

If I were talking to you and masking, I'm consciously trying to follow the conversation and respond, using rehearsed lines or trying to follow a checklist in my head to help keep it going (remember to ask them questions people like that!) whilst also listening to my own voice to check I'm not slipping into my natural monologue, consciously exaggerating facial expressions and hand gestures and timing how long I'm making eye contact.

Everything I do socially is done consciously instead of being intuitive or automatic, it's exhausting. Ironically it's why I'm good at presenting at big conferences, because the 'acting' I have to do on stage, which is the bit most my colleagues are scared of, is what I have to do every day, except to me a big crowd is less intimidating than one individual in my personal space.

Are you being deliberately obtuse?
Autistic women are massively affected by the menopause. She was coping - functioning fine in normal society, not behind closed doors - until menopause, then she broke. And in that era, women who stopped caring for others and stopped showing 'maternal instincts' and stopped following rules got shipped off for a while for 'rest'.
The point you're missing is that just because YOU think someone is fine doesn't mean they are. And given your attitude on here, I imagine you'd be the last person on earth that someone who was actually struggling with ND would deign to share any of that with.

DH has very recently been diagnosed with ADHD. Our GP made the diagnosis and is in charge of his medication. With medication he is far more ‘efficient’.

DS1 is severely disabled by his autism - which is almost certainly as a result of his extremely premature birth - and ADHD. He takes ADHD medication but no amount of it could make him less disabled.

Their experience of ADHD couldn’t be more different.

I don’t believe I’m ND but I do have PTSD, just to throw in another acronym.

My children are under tier 3 and all their treatment meds have been massively adjusted. One was continuously hospitalised at great expense to the tax payer until care was adjusted. Some areas have support groups, online courses ….

I do get that. I'm just trying to understand what it is like for people who aren't autistic. So I think (but might be wrong) that NT people would be like that in certain situations such as interviews but everyday conversations would come naturally without having to do that.