AIBU to stay very part time when childcare costs make work unviable?

[Lazyperson]

I am currently 0.4, so two days a week. Always thought I’d work more when youngest starts school next September but having just done the costs for after school club and breakfast club for two children even for three days a week it would mean I was working for very little.

It hardly seems worth it. And it would be a stress.

The only real consideration is pension but have quite a big chunk so not really concerned about that. Also, I’m not interested in a career.

So - AIBU to stay very part time and semi live a life of leisure?

I never went more than two days a week/ term time only while the children were at school. In hindsight I wish I'd taken a few years out when they were babies but otherwise it worked for our family. They still benefit from having a parent available at all ages.
I did the same job which I could have chosen to do full time or part time. Maybe if I'd had a job I loved I might have chosen differently

@Tiredbarbie at the moment only one child is in school and so costs are minimal ish. A friend is helping (a reciprocal arrangement) on one day so it’s only £12 one day a week, breakfast and after school club. This won’t be possible with two children unfortunately.

The wraparound also seems much cheaper than ours. My kids school would be over £100 for 3 days. But its not just cost. It can depend on if your kids cope with it, are they too tired. Mine hate breakfast club with a passion so those mornings are not fun!

It only starts at 8 and finishes at 415, which is another stress to manage! Edit sorry - I know a few people pay a lot more but these tend to start earlier and finish at around 5:30/6 and include food. Breakfast is included in breakfast club (obviously I guess) but no food in the after school ones.

8-4.15 is crazy! How on earth does anyone manage that whilst working? Yes ours is much longer which makes sense with the increased price. Perhaps look at other ways of bringing income in while they are small or like others said, improve chances of a higher salary in the future.

Do you not want the intellectual stimulation?

Do you think you're setting a good example to your children if you're lazing around and not contributing to society whilst their at school?

I don’t understand the maths of this really. How much do you earn per day?

I have two kids, their wraparound is £25/day each (of which I pay £20 cos of tax free childcare) so effectively it takes £40 off my take home pay per day - even if I was paid minimum wage it’s still worth working.

If you don’t need to work because of accrued wealth then that’s different, but it’s not really about the cost of wraparound vs wages in that case. (No judgement if that is your situation, kids would love a stay at home parent).

My salary would be just over £50,000 if I was full time which isn’t bad to be fair, it’s just that going full time would be very difficult to manage at this stage from both a logistical and workload standpoint.

@Calmestofallthechickens so my take home salary is £1400, or slightly over.

I think to be fair my maths was out as going to three days a week would probably be more like £1900 (I can’t add up, good thing I don’t work in accountancy!) so £500 p/m difference. However, I would have to pay for additional childcare costs of about £300, so I suppose the question is how much is that extra £200 actually worth?

I always imagined and slightly looked forward to increasing my hours but I am not sure if it is worth it financially or emotionally - work days are already very stressful.

This seems quite harsh. OP is working, just not full time.

Full time work as a parent to young kids is stressful I think. Full time work to young kids as a single parent is more stressful. OP id do what feels right for you. Could you perhaps negotiate a trial period and see how you get on?

Ouch.

I will answer that as honestly as possible whilst also stating that this is a provocative post and could have been phrased in a way that expressed the overall meaning without resorting to insults (even implied ones.)

So - do I miss the intellectual stimulation? No. I do not get this at work. Work is actually very dull a lot of the time. I do like some of the people I work with and would call them friends but do I go to work and have lively discussions about topical issues, no. By contrast I would ironically be able to develop those sorts of interests much more at home. So if it is an interest in art history or French literature or watercolour paintings we’re about that is not going to happen at work!

I do very little lazing about and have and would volunteered to read at DCs school, worked with a local toddler group and would continue to do so and could perhaps do a bit more, but I don’t feel my existence needs justifying in itself through work, paid or otherwise. I don’t feel this about anybody tbh.

I think the best example I can set to my children is to be a human being who hopefully they see as strong and capable and also caring and kind and grow up to be the same. This can happen at work but also outside of it.

I utilise the tax free childcare account for our wraparound care which would make your £70 a week only £56 a week, have you set up an account for this?

I can’t quite grasp how an extra 4 days a month would only give you £300 extra salary. At (for example) even only 7 hours a day that’s £13 ish an hour, but you say FT would be close to 50k so you’re definitely on more than that.

Yes, my maths was out, it would be more like an extra £500.

Your living expenses must be remarkably low for it not to be worth it given your current income.

The numbers don’t make sense. Salary would be 50k full time so 30k at 3 days. That’s take home of approx 2000. So if childcare is 300 then a 1,700 profit

You must be fairly wealthy to not think an extra £500 a month is worth it, especially as you’d still have 4 days a week off. So if you are that financially comfortable then do what you want, you are one lucky person.

@LiquoriceAllsorts2 i have said that my maths was a bit out.

I am rounding up a bit here but the difference between two and three days a week is around £500. Wraparound would be £300. So is that £200 extra a month worth it? Hard to say; I’ll have to have a think and weigh it up.

(on two days a week I would spread across three so no wraparound,)

Can you spread 3 days work across 4 to reduce needing childcare?

I think only you can access whether you can afford to only work a 40% contract (both now and the future impacts)

I would say no it’s not worth it. So £200 so basically £50 for the extra day each week. That’s less than minimum wage.

That is a possibility and I’ve considered this. It’s whether that extra day ‘off’ is worth the money. All a weighing up exercise. The issue is the more I’m in work (even on short days) the more complex life is, but it may well be something I consider.

Ultimately it sounds like you don’t NEED the money. Maybe you could do life enhancing stuff with the extra money that you can’t otherwise stretch to (holidays, music lessons, whatever - hobbies for kids really ramp up in costs as they get older).

The flip side is that it is good to not have them in wraparound every day, especially when they’re little - they’re tired and grumpy by that time, and it’s too late to do anything with the evening really (although yours isn’t too late). I work 3 days a week and I’m not planning to increase, as the two afternoons I pick them up are used for hobbies, going to the park, doing homework etc; plus workdays/drop off and pick up arrangements are quite rushed and stressful logistically; and it’s nice to have a bit of childfree time in the week so that life admin/cleaning/laundry doesn’t take over the weekend.

You may also really notice the difference in the holidays - that the more days per week you work, the more difficult and expensive it is to cover the summer holiday - I found this a rude awakening moving to school from year-round childminder.

I found the first couple of years at school harder logistically than when they were in nursery- wraparound care had a waiting list and wasn’t always reliable, and both kids struggled with the school day as it was, let alone with extra tacked on.

i think as long as you are financially secure and maintaining a career it is fine - you are retaining lots of flexibility for the future and can add hours if you need or want the money.

I was VERY part time for about 7 years, but went back full time when dc were y3 because a specific opportunity arose. During the early primary years it was lovely to be available for the kids - I was on the pta, volunteered at school, was generally available during school holidays and they had shorter days when they were little and were exhausted by school. Now they are older (10yo) and they need less of me on a day to day basis - they have loads of afterschool activities that keep them until 5:30pm, don’t need constant supervision during school holidays, and are rarely ill. Work became more profitable and less stressful

Can you afford to work only 2 days a week?
I worked full time when my son was young and paid associated cc costs.
Cc costs and wrap around costs are extortionate and many people have the same challenges. You are young OP and a life time ahead to build on your skills /career goals.

@Newyearawaits I’m not young. If we go by state pension age I am halfway there. I know that ‘you’ve got X number of years before …‘ is trotted out a lot here but I do think that a lot of people retire a good five years before their state pension age, in my experience anyway.

As I’ve said I’m not seeking a career and am probably too old for this in my line of work anyway.