Coersive Control

[Mysweetlife]

I don't know where to start really.

My partner took me to court for my alcoholism and won custody, I rented my home and moved away to be with my children and him in the home he bought.

Alot has happened to get to this point, been told on multiple occasions to leave him, had many chances from the judge. He's never left me alone and to be honest I didn't him because I thought it could work.

I did two months dry whilst at the house even through my mum passing away, he made my life so difficult that I was stupid and drank again.

Lashed out at family until I have nobody left, he took me back, I know my lashing out has been a cry for help because I've been so stupid.

It was my worst binge yet, literally hallucinating, shaking, throwing up bloody and didn't sleep for 4 days because I would lay awake.

Two days after still poorly (self inflicted) took me back on the basis I was a possession and that when the kids went to bed I am basically a piece of meat, he will use me. I agreed in desperation to be with my children, they are not happy without me, it kills me to know what i have caused and let happen.

When I am not here he sits on his phone feet up on the recliner and does nothing, my children messaging saying they miss me

I am in debt, my property is rented and money tied up.

I don't know what to do or where to go

No such thing as detox through GP in the UK. I have personal experience of this (although not me).

Your right this isn't an option, I have been sober 5 days and before this relapse I did over two months.

No excuse but moving and leaving the home me and my children knew, changing jobs, sobriety, losing my mum and dealing with him tipped me over the edge and I wish i had rode it out and been stronger

I remortgaged our home in to my name to release money for him when he left, he then bought and took me to court. I then rented out my property and moved in

Now I have debt, I can't take my house back and it's 3 hours away from my children anyway, I don't drive but he does

You will get through this.
Just keep going and take it one day at a time.
Focus on not drinking today.

Life is better when you don't drink.

You are a wonderful mother and your children will be so proud of you when you have overcome this.

@nofacenonamenonumber

Thank you so much I really needed your comment this evening.

Since he has been back from work he followed me asking what's happening with us, this is after I rejected to be a sub and cried when he said your a clever piece of meat aren't you when I put the shorts on at his request last night.

Has done his weights where I was relaxing with my little boy, ate food I cooked saying its full of carbs. Then sat on his phone with my new earpods in, literally nothing else, hasn't spoken since following me because I didn't give him a response really.

Trying to ignore him but he keeps shifting around the sofa smiling at his phone I think for a reaction.

And breathe

When I said no last night and that I felt degraded he then spouted off so much of basically why I was worthless and he is getting nothing that benefits him.

He said I've degraded myself by letting him and the kids down.

Soul destroying, little girl is sat in the room and my little boy finding things so we can make a rocket.

I may just go to bed and sleep it off and try find some positive from somewhere

Yeah OP, you need to approach local drug and alcohol services. Even if you don’t need an actual detox, you might find some of the support groups, etc (as well as going back to AA which I urge you to). State-funded res rehab is available but there will be a wait - your local substance misuse service will be able to advise you.

I've started AA again

I just don't know how to get out of this situation quickly, I don't want to leave my children

@HearHareHere your advise is much appreciated though

Very rare. I’ve never known it.