Partners family HATE me and its a long story.

[13MAPARTHELL]

They hate me, they didnt for the first few years, his stepmum is insanely difficult and controlling, likes things a certain way, if you disagree with an opinion its personal, if you ask a favour, its overstepping.

she banned me from the house 5 years ago because i thought we were close, asked for a favour and she was trying to control me on my birthday (NYE) by saying we werent welcome to her party, unless we had dinner and went home at a set time as she did not want to feel used? Weird i know. We said we wanted to go but have dinner together first, she went mad and I snapped back making a comment about constant strict boundaries around my partner seeing his mum in their family home (lesbian mum and stepmum) she in response, banned me from ever being in the home again.

his mum after, explained shes just odd & that she does not agree with her partner.

fast forward a week, they are asking to take the kids out, i said no because i did mot want to normalise the situation and wish to sort this issue out, they called me a shit mum.

sent lots of messages apologising etc as my partner was upset, all ignored, even during his bout of severe depression, tried to inform them, ignored repeatedly.

they made a comment when kids were babies stating they wont help till they are older, now 6 years later, they appear and i think oh fuck it fine they then see my kids and my partner, without me.

partner and me going through very very bad patch, hes left and is staying with them (kick in the teeth) & they had my kids when he was maant to and he didnt tell me, i text his mum asking to call so i can speal to my kids, she did & was extremely rude on the phone

i text her saying, actually you and your family including your son have put me through a lot & id really like some respect if yojr going to be caring for my children more

her reply ‘you are manipulative, you always have been and we have always put your kids first’

i feel like telling them all just to fuck off

Very much so 😭

dad NEVER answers phone, ever thats the only reason why i asked her to call me

So this is a child that could do with at least one adult in his life not behaving like a drama seeking toddler-esque adult. Not to be it would appear

Yes thank you for pointing that out, its extremely depressing. Sadly i do not have a shred of support so yes im very depressed thank you

One of mine has adhd, asd and pda.

I get them being disregukated.

but. You allow the kids to go with their dad. So I assume you feel he is not putting them at risk such that contact should be supervised? If you do, take it to court.

Well perhaps end this poisonous loveless sham and actually start creating a stable home for your children

Hmm

i just wanted to know if my autistic child was ok and got shouted at, asked for respect and got called names. Maybe im bitter, when once he is home, im the one that gets beaten up and deals with the fall out, then having no support.

Text him then. You shouldn’t be involving her in your arrangements with the kids dad. Part of separating is accepting that he will not parent how you want him to. And unless there are concerns of neglect or abuse, you have to suck it up.

You all sound like you’re in the cast of Shameless to be honest. Stop interacting with it all and try to get some stability for your child.

Ok well we arent, we all work good stable jobs.

I’d be grateful to be put their lives to be honest
if your partner wants a relationship with these women then that’s up to him you don’t have too

That’s not what advance search indicates? Hes an illiterate self employed tradie who’s in debt to his neck and lost all your savings?

So then you can end this “relationship”

many threads churning out the same. All receiving the same advice. All ignored. Rinse and repeat

Yes but he has a job, your trying to indicate that we are benefit scroungers that are unemployed or something along those lines, which is not the case.

Indeed. The Op for some unfathomable reason gave him her entire inheritance

2, 2 posts

And you fleeced UC coz you told them you were a single claim when you weren’t. 😱

what a mess.

We werent together we were living together and that was completely explained

The bottom line is.

do you have legitimate concerns about neglect or abuse that mean he should not have unsupervised access to your children? Yes or no.

Having not seen any other threads, I don’t know why OP is getting such a hard time.

You say you’re a victim of DV, that’s the most important thing here. You must find the strength to permanently end this abusive relationship. Then the focus must be on providing a calm and stable environment for your child.

Your ex-partner may well have custody rights, and this may extend to your child spending time with his family. You may have to accept that but it doesn’t mean you having a relationship with them.

set clear communication expectations with your ex. This may even be with the help of a court if it goes that far. Communicate by text means a paper trail which might help.

The in-laws should be irrelevant now. The relationship is over and so is your contact with them. They sound awful so it should be a relief.

Also. Try and cut some of your load. You’re stressed out of your tree.

you have adhd, two disabled kids, one of whom has such severe needs you’re getting high rate DLA at £1,000 a month. You work full time for a company contracted to the home office in safeguarding that you need to report for paying you under minimum wage because they’re paying you under £700 a month. AND you’re at uni.

something has to give.

also. Adding this. He cheated on you. You cheated or nearly cheated on him. Quite apart from everything else. relationship is a car crash and the best thing you can do for your kids is give them calm.

You and your ex have children together. They are your joint children. If he wants to take his kids to visit his family as a parent he should be trusted to do that.

Now he's currently living with them he gets to chose what he does with the children on his parenting time. If he wants to leave the kids with them that up to him. You need to contact him if you want to talk to your children not his mum. He is your coparent stop putting them in the middle.

If your washing machine breaks diwn go to the launderette. Don't ask them. They dont like you. You haven't been welcome in their ho.e for 5 years. Fuck me id ask a neighbour over there people. Id wash the clothes in the bath over asking them.

You need to understand what you can control. What you cant control and have the wisdom to know the difference. Unless there's a safeguarding risk to the children its not your business.

Honestly stay seperate him and his family arent worth the drama.

My first thought is if your child has Audhd and is PDA, why are you passing them from pillar to post between houses? (For the child's benefit Dad should be visiting in their home environment or taking on trips out) I would imagine they need structure, routine and a consistent environment? If home is changing all of the time, why are you surprised school is falling apart? They should be able to decompress at home after school, not anxiety continue because the adults around you are unsafe. Autism or not, no adult should be yelling at each other in front of children. You keep mentioning autism in your post, but in your handling of this matter you aren't parenting with autism in mind. If they are attacking people, their nervous system is heightened, which would indicate to me this arrangement isn't working. Why is this not obvious to you?
Forget lesbian grans for a moment, come together with Dad and put together a plan where the children come first. It sounds like Dad would also cope better with visits and trips out rather than relying on his toxic mither to parent. If your children are settled, life will be that bit easier.

Outright lie

More than a dozen

🙄