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AIBU?

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WIBU to shout at a woman who made this comment to my husband? Possibly racist?

70 replies

Heyitsmeem · 03/10/2026 17:35

We were in a car park today and he was talking waiting for a woman to reverse. She came out and ushered him with his hand to reverse around the corner for her and that it was “one way” (it wasn’t there was two lanes). She got aggressive, got out the car and banged on my window. Husband told her to stop touching his car and not to startle me.

She then went round to his window and when he started talking said “well you’re not local”

I was furious. My husband is of African heritage, and has a slight accent, he’s a British citizen. He told me to leave it, but I was so angry. I went to her car and shouted “what do you mean he’s not local? You fucking racist”

A man who was on the opposite side of the road told my husband that she was being arsey and there’s a 2way system. He moved his car to my husband could park there.

😭 I’m not confrontational in the slightest, but I felt like it was an awful comment. I was shaking with rage and I was shouting at her.

Wibu?

OP posts:
CheetahsAreGreatMums · 05/10/2026 19:42

listentoheart · 05/10/2026 17:49

Perhaps you read everything as racists? Why did you assume that "you are not local" meant something racist? I definitely think you overreacted and it sounds as if your husband is the more clear headed individual!

Because why would she assume he wasn't local? Do you know everyone who lives in your town? No one has ever told me I'm not local even when I'm not. If I believed someone was wrong in how they were navigating a car park, I'd assume they had either made a mistake or they were just selfish twats - wouldn't enter my head to think they didn't live there!

anon666 · 05/10/2026 19:42

I think you're probably ashamed of it because you're not usually like that. But you had your husband's back. 😊

And also this "casual racism" is creeping back into people's heads and it has to be challenged and stamped out where it pops out. So you did good.

How horrible for you and your husband. 😔

CheetahsAreGreatMums · 05/10/2026 19:45

useyournoodle · 03/10/2026 19:27

Are you local to that area, or were you just visiting and from that she took you didn’t know the area and car park?

Unless you were from that area, I wouldn’t have immediately jumped to thinking she was racist.

He is from that area.

MellonFellon · 05/10/2026 19:50

Dh is white European and far too many times has been told to fuck off to his own country. The laughable thing is he's probably put more into this country in the past 20 years, than the people telling him to go 'home'.

Like all idiots they'll pick on the most obvious attack. Tell them to use their imagination next time because racism and xenophobia is becoming as boring as Six Seven in the playground.

MCF86 · 05/10/2026 20:03

I do think YWBU, but I would have been too 🤷‍♀️

CheetahsAreGreatMums · 05/10/2026 20:04

MCF86 · 05/10/2026 20:03

I do think YWBU, but I would have been too 🤷‍♀️

Do you not think the woman was?

MCF86 · 05/10/2026 20:13

CheetahsAreGreatMums · 05/10/2026 20:04

Do you not think the woman was?

Of course, but that wasn't the question OP asked.

Tootsurly · 05/10/2026 20:24

Edenmum2 · 03/10/2026 18:43

This is an extremely generous interpretation

It's how I interpreted it too, especially since the "You're not local" comment wasn't made until the OP's husband started talking and could be heard not to have a local accent.

Could be wrong, but I don't think it's impossible.

Niceonegeezer · 05/10/2026 20:29

Some awful apologists for racism on this thread tying themselves in knots trying to make the OP feel awful for addressing a disgusting racist comment. Good for you OP, hopefully you gave that woman cause to reflect on her behaviour and she'll think twice next time.

CheetahsAreGreatMums · 05/10/2026 20:35

MCF86 · 05/10/2026 20:13

Of course, but that wasn't the question OP asked.

Fair comment.

StripyShirt · 05/10/2026 20:39

Paddingtonsmarmaladesandwich2 · 03/10/2026 21:26

What???

how would she know?

The OP tells us that the comment was made immediately after the woman heard his non-local accent

Heyitsmeem · 05/10/2026 20:45

Tootsurly · 05/10/2026 20:24

It's how I interpreted it too, especially since the "You're not local" comment wasn't made until the OP's husband started talking and could be heard not to have a local accent.

Could be wrong, but I don't think it's impossible.

I’m not local either by accents standard. I’m scouse living down south 😂 she spoke to me fine, saw my husband and heard him speak for a millisecond and then made that conclusion. My husband who’s Black thought it was racist. I’m not debating whether other white people think it’s racist or not!

OP posts:
bryceQ · 05/10/2026 20:45

My husband is black. Many people are racist. He deals with it with grace and class…. More than these people deserve. And he was born here. Has never even been to the country people would tell him to go back to. It’s mad.

Livelovebehappy · 05/10/2026 22:31

Heyitsmeem · 03/10/2026 18:04

Well she didn’t say it to me, when my window was open? I’m white

But you werent he.one driving so irrelevent. If he was local presumably he would have known the traffic system in the car patk.

MCF86 · 05/10/2026 22:41

StripyShirt · 05/10/2026 20:39

The OP tells us that the comment was made immediately after the woman heard his non-local accent

his non local accent wouldn't necessarily mean he hadn't lived there most of his life though

Heyitsmeem · 05/10/2026 22:45

Livelovebehappy · 05/10/2026 22:31

But you werent he.one driving so irrelevent. If he was local presumably he would have known the traffic system in the car patk.

He did know the traffic system, she didn’t

OP posts:
FridayNightBlues · 05/10/2026 22:50

I've been told that I am not local in a parking row and yes it was definitely racist as they followed it up with saying "go back to fucking -".

Sorry it upset you pp and I understand it's infuriating but if you aren't white you do get to hear this particular phrase a lot.

(Also, thanks for speaking up).

FridayNightBlues · 05/10/2026 22:53

CheetahsAreGreatMums · 05/10/2026 19:42

Because why would she assume he wasn't local? Do you know everyone who lives in your town? No one has ever told me I'm not local even when I'm not. If I believed someone was wrong in how they were navigating a car park, I'd assume they had either made a mistake or they were just selfish twats - wouldn't enter my head to think they didn't live there!

Sorry misread and addressed to the wrong person

FridayNightBlues · 05/10/2026 22:54

Sorry addressed the wrong post.

Empress13 · 05/10/2026 22:56

sunshine244 · 03/10/2026 17:59

My assumption would be that she means not local as in new to the specific area so don't already know the carpark layout.

Either way she sounds problematic.

Really? You think that ? You must be deluded ! How on earth would she know he wasn’t local ?? She wouldn’t have said that to a white man now would she? OP you had every right to defend your husband

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