AIBU to reconsider a long friendship over support for education tax?

[CoconutRumcake]

A close friend of over 15 years last night unashamedly said she supported the children’s education tax. To put this in context, she is godmother to my ds and has seen first hand what damage this has done to children and families as well as her own sister losing her job when the school closed. She had maybe drank too much and has apologised over text this morning, but I really can’t shake the feeling that I don’t want to be around her.
AIBU -try and move past it
YANBU -it’s run it’s time

Right 😅

Not RTFT just OP

There's a good possibility she's been listening to you talk about it for a considerable time now and held her tongue.
Sure, she should have read the room but shes allowed conflicting opinions & if she's such a good friend she should be able to express those feelings honestly.

I think you're extremely pissed off at the change to VAT, and she's given you an easy target to aim that at.
But hopefully, as you selected her as godmother she has other good qualities?

All this change means is you are now in the same boat as millions & millions of other UK families who love their kids, want the best for them and their education & who would chose smaller classes and excellent facilities in a heartbeat if they had the cash.

It's a bitter pill to find out you're ordinary - particularly if you were privately educated yourself.

But that's not her fault.

Because it doesn't. And it is.

You are not doing a very good job of convincing us op. In fact I’m pretty
much of the opinion that you are a horrible person. Anyone that doesn’t agree with you is apparently thick or ignorant.

I’m imagining this poor women having to apologise, pretending it was just the drink that made her say such “terrible things”. I really hope she now has the measure of you and seeks to distance herself from you. You’re not a good friend.

Leaving aside the specifics (I wouldn’t mind if all private schools closed tomorrow), are you actually saying you cannot be friends with someone who thinks differently to you about anything? I suppose I’d struggle to be friends with a misogynist or a rapist but I can’t see how that’s the same to a political disagreement. This poor woman said something the hive mind at a party disagreed with and now she’s probably losing all her friends? Am sure she’ll eventually be better off but what a ridiculous situation to end up with as adults.

I voted for Scottish independence. Some of my friends didn’t. Some did. It was intense and polarising in the community but as I love and value my friendships we had some conversations about it and then moved on with our lives. It was interesting to hear a different viewpoint from a person I respect.

You’re not doing very well on this thread at all op.

other posters - salient points explaining that actually long term removing a privilege accessible only to 7% of children, is a good idea, as long term it benefits all childrens education. See Finland model.

op - childish, factually incorrect insults

It's not a tax on all children's education. If your children went to private school, they are in a privileged minority. Your friend's opinion is in the majority here - you are being unreasonable to end the friendship over this. It is trivial in my opinion.

this! Also what a bloody boring night out that must have been 😅 when a WhatsApp apology is needed you’d assume it would be “sorry I puked in the taxi” or something 🤣

More disingenuous Labour nonsense.

Have a look at the type of schools closing and the type that are opening and then look which have to charge VAT to parents.

It is no surprise that Labour never mentioned the 6500 new teachers lie anymore. They also blocked a review of the overall impact of the policy as they know it has been a net cost to the taxpayer.

They are fortunate that the bulk of the electorate aren’t inquisitive enough to do anything other than take misleading headlines at face value.

Totally agree.

'she’s seen first hand what it’s done to people I’d assumed she cared about.'

What has it 'done' to them?

How much time have you spent caring about the underfunding of state schools? Presumably some people you care about went to them?

Caviar is classified as a food item and is therefore zero vat rated.

Or do you think that certain food items should be VAT eligible and others not depending on their price or "poshness". For example Tesco own brand honey nut cornflakes should be VAT free and Kellogg Crunchy Nut cornflakes VAT eligible.

And anyway who gets to decide what is fancy posh VAT eligible food and what isn't? Or should certain posh food be banned?

Exactly

I hope the woman finds this thread and gets herself some better friends! Maybe some who have fun on a night out rather than talking about VAT 😅

The issue is whether you can be friends with someone whose views are radically different to yours.

The answer imo is yes - you need to look to the wider picture of enjoying their company, shared history, same groups etc.

Which it is. As per the wording in that link you keep posting.

You'd be better off arguing that you know it's a tax for private / fee paying schools (not an "education tax" - which is nonsense), but the removal of the VAT exemption is unfair for [whatever reasons you believe].

(edited to clarify it's VAT exemption)

What do you mean by crabs out of the bucket please?

(I do actually know what you mean but want you to elaborate because you clearly think state school is a cesspit to be escaped)

You think those who go to state school are not capable of doing well in life? Your posts are getting increasingly worse OP, I’d stop digging.

I’m amazed your friend thought it was necessary to apologise for her views. You are lucky to have her as a friend.

OP, did you post the same question couple of months ago, pondering whether you should let your child play with a kid who’s mom was in favour of „education tax” as you ridiculously call it???? Was it you?

This literally isnt true. There are almost no private schools that can actually be affordes by families on average incomes unless they have family wealth meaning no rent or mortgage, or wealthy grandparents paying.

Average uk day fees are 24k.

Median full time salary is 39k. Lets assume there are two parents both earning that - 78k.

After tax & minimum pension contribs its about 30k - £60k combined.

Average uk council tax: 2.4k
Average gas & elec: £1.6k
Average rent: £17k
Food: 7k

So already there's only 32k left & we haven't covered student loan repayments, insurances, water, phone/internet bills, tv license, transport & fuel, cleaning products, clothes & shoes,

Most people have more than one child so fees would be pushing £50k a year out of post tax pay.

There are very, very few children from average income families attending private schools.

Parents of private school children are not “paying twice”. That’s not how tax works in this country.

Firstly, we pay tax for schools to educate the UK population of children as a collective, not our own individual child. You don’t pay four times the tax if you have four kids in state schools nor do childfree individuals get a refund. We all pay tax to fund state education so we can have an educated populace as a collective.

Secondly, its not even the case that if you send your child to a private school instead of the local state school that the state school gets that child’s “allocation or pot” of tax money. Schools are allocated budgets based on the number of children on roll. There is no “extra money” the schools “win” or “get to keep” by having money for a child that isn’t at that school but would be by default.

‘Education tax’ 🤣🤣🤣🤣

So you're upset that you have to pay a bit more for your children's education because their school is no longer exempt from VAT?

Honestly, if your kids aren't worth paying the extra cost for, or you're simply too poor to afford it now, then you can join the rest of us and take advantage of the free education provided by the state.

Private education doesn't affect most people, so you are probably correct. I would say uninterested more than disinterested.
Do you spend time worrying about cut backs to free school meals and breakfast clubs or the VAT they pay during their operation.