AIBU to stop contact after threats and aggression from my ex?

[TK220440]

Hi, I’m looking for some advice as to whether I’m being unreasonable…

I asked DD father to leave the home when she was 9 months old. He’d punched holes in the wall where she’s sleeping, spat at me, call me a c/s whilst I was holding and feeding her. Constant aggression in the household.

It’s now been a year since separated. I owned the house, sold and moved back to where I grew up and where my family are. The abuse has since worsened. He previously contributed £70 a week (he earns a good wage and I work full time) but hasn’t paid for 6 weeks, and continues to threaten to ‘punch my face in’ and ‘I’m coming for you’ when I don’t allow access to DD. There have been previous threats to kill, to ‘end me’ and wishing me a cruel death. When we had childcare arrangements, he didn’t turn up, cancelled at the last minute, and tried his hardest to make life as difficult as possible. I have now withdrawn access to DD.

AIBU to withdraw contact (he doesn’t have my address or DD nursery details) and how do I move forward?

Have you told the police about his threats and acts of aggression? You need to.

Have you looked into getting a non-molestation order? And go to CMS for maintenance.

It will end up in court and he'll get contact. If there's nothing in writing, he'll deny it all, if there is something, the court will say no contact between you and exchange done via third party.

You might be ordered to do most or all of the travelling since you moved away.

Don't assume the courts will be on your side.

Report threats to the police and go through CMS for maintenance. Don't let him have any control of your life!

You could consider offering supervised contact at a contact centre (funded by him) due to his history of violent threats. He doesn't sound like he'd take you up on it, but if you wanted to be certain you'd tried everything for you dc to have a chance to know their dad.

YANBU. Stop all contact. Report all his threats to the police and all previous incidents so it is on record. If he wants to see her he can apply through the courts. Hopefully he won’t bother. Never let him know where you live.

Only if he can be bothered.

Go to the police and get a non molestation order.