To wonder if it's actually worth approaching people like this?

[Chefpig]

On a train. A man got on and sat across from me and started playing a game on his phone quite loud, so sounds of cards shuffling and pinging constantly. I put up with it for a few minutes hoping he was going to realise it was loud and then asked very nicely and politely if he minded turning it down.

He replied, "what?" with a scowl on his face. I repeated myself and he spat back in an aggressive tone that he didn't know how to turn it down. Usually, I'd offer to show someone, but I could tell he wasn't a nice person. He was in his uniform too so not setting a great example for the company he works for.

I hoped he'd then turn the game off, but nope, carried on regardless. I was busy working on a stressful piece of work too. Not his problem but I hoped for at least a quiet enough carriage to concentrate. I eventually moved and told him I was doing so because he was antisocial and rude.

WIBU to challenge him?

I think I'm going to do this

You’d have to take that up with the railway operator! Common sense dictates you move if someone is irritating you. But don’t let that get in the way of a good moan, eh?

There isn’t a ‘victim’ there is a person who’s annoyed. The two are not the same.

It was meant to be a practical suggestion. There are so many people who do not care about bothering other people with their phones that on a typical journey you'd be up and down like a yo yo!

Making all carriages quiet, except one or two, solves the problem. Why should people have to move, or confront other passengers, just to get a bit of peace?

A victim of another person's rudeness and lack of consideration of course.

I stayed in a hotel recently. A man close by sat and listened to a training video on his lap top, on triple speed. It's annoying behaviour and I was a victim of it. Why would you defend it?

It’s not defending the other persons behaviour, it’s disagreeing with dramatised wording of basic annoyances ‘making it the victims problem’. You are annoyed by it, not harmed, not a victim.

I'm not going to call you ageist. It's probably because their hearing is so bad that they need it on loud to be able to hear anything and don't know how earphones work? 🙂

I've said this before on here but I think the issue is we're now into the second or even third generation of people who have grown up in a household where everyone is permanently on devices all the time. So people don't really recognise that its wrong/annoying.

If your parents are permanently watching shit on YouTube/TikTok and playing games which constantly ping, maybe it never crosses your mind that you're doing anything wrong? A lot of kids now grow up in a soup of aural overload where there are constant electronic noises so they probably tune it out.

On the few occasions when I've plucked up the courage to challenge people on this they don't usually get aggressive as such, they just look at me as if I was completely insane, like they couldn't understand why it would be a problem.

It's not that simple if you're on a London bus.

I can't remember the last time I took a bus where I live (in South East London) where I wasn't subjected to someone watching mindless shite on TikTok/Spanish language telenovelas at over 100 decibels/teenagers talking audibly about their sex lives/kids watching cartoons very loudly. It's endemic.

You literally cannot get away from it and it apparently doesn't cross people's minds that there's anything wrong with it.

Playing your phone loudly, or speaking loudly on your phone in a public place such as a train or bus is anti social behaviour. People annoyed by such behaviour are victims of anti social behaviour. In the context of concerns about being verbally abused or worse as several on this thread have pointed out, then I think we can use the term victim without being accused of being dramatic. It does sound at least that you are downplaying just how annoying and difficult these situations reasonably be, or you wouldn't have piped up.

I'm 65 and I agree with you. I often wonder if they're deaf and don't realise how loud they are. Although many are probably just bloody rude.

If I could ever hope to a. learn the language and b. be given leave to remain, I would emigrate to Poland. It is entirely frowned upon to talk loudly on phones in public, or subject people to your noise. Lublin was an absolute revelation.

I got on a bus the other day and a huge multi-generational family with at least three children playing ‘baby shark’ loudly on their parents’ phones joined us. I’m afraid I was not at all polite. I said “Will you turn that noise off please, no-one else needs to hear.” which progressed to “You know, you can always TALK to your child to entertain it!” The children quite literally said “Waah” and had a phone thrust at them.

People being verbally abused are victims, people irritated by someone else playing a game with the volume on in a public place are not victims. So agree to disagree.

I have a friend who has a very loud voice - when l am talking to her my dh always says take her off loudspeaker and she isn't even on loudspeaker. I have decided next time someone pisses me off l am going to call her and put her on loudspeaker. That'll learn them!

There doesn’t have to be annoying noises on trains. I’ve just got back from France. They announce over the tannoy that passengers are not to watch videos or listen to music without headphones, for the comfort of other passengers. The announcement also said that if you need to make or take a phone call, you must go into the corridor between the carriages to do it. Their trains are so peaceful. There is barely any noise and even people chatting talk very quietly so you’re not forced to listen to them.

The difference between their trains and ours is astonishing.

He was rude and I hate loud phones in public but no one cares if you have a stressful piece of work to do...

I live in London.
Not worth challenging. You simply never know who has a knife.
Is it worth your life?

@NotNowFGS

I used to have a job that most definitely couldn't be talked about in public. You have no idea who is listening!

It was only for the last 10 minutes of the journey so I just rolled my eyes. If either of them had said anything confidential (or been on loudspeaker) then I absolutely would have said something.

This is very true. I got a few trains in Northern France a month ago and it was a blissfully chilled experience compared with the hell of UK train travel.

The French have always been more serious about public manners than we have and it really pays dividends here.

Sadly, basic respect and courtesy is dying out.

I was waiting on a train recently and an old guy sparked up a fag right next to me despite a clear no smoking sign. I thought about saying something but knew the outcome so didn’t waste my energy and stood elsewhere. Thankfully I could do that and I feel for you actually stuck on a train with such a prick.

Does everyone in london carry a knife?

I know. It’s called life.

Enough do. Why risk it?

Enough being hardly any statistically

Of course they don't but why would you risk it