To wonder if it's actually worth approaching people like this?

[Chefpig]

On a train. A man got on and sat across from me and started playing a game on his phone quite loud, so sounds of cards shuffling and pinging constantly. I put up with it for a few minutes hoping he was going to realise it was loud and then asked very nicely and politely if he minded turning it down.

He replied, "what?" with a scowl on his face. I repeated myself and he spat back in an aggressive tone that he didn't know how to turn it down. Usually, I'd offer to show someone, but I could tell he wasn't a nice person. He was in his uniform too so not setting a great example for the company he works for.

I hoped he'd then turn the game off, but nope, carried on regardless. I was busy working on a stressful piece of work too. Not his problem but I hoped for at least a quiet enough carriage to concentrate. I eventually moved and told him I was doing so because he was antisocial and rude.

WIBU to challenge him?

Well, I can't imagine he would have suddenly said, oh my goodness, this noise is irritating? I had no idea!
He knew, he didn't care, and he was never going to do anything about it.
So you are not unreasonable to want it turned down, but unreasonable to think it would happen.

I was in a food court today and had to move seats three times because of people watching loud videos on their phones. No point in approaching any of them, two of them were dog rough and one was a woman in her 70s.

The worst noise on a train by far is when someone has their keyboard clicks on loud and taps away the whole journey. People have no self-awareness at all.

Not unreasonable to challenge him and he was definitely in the wrong but at the same time, attempting to do a stressful piece of work on the train is always very unlikely to go well.

I wasn't typing. I was scrolling though a PowerPoint.

I really don't understand how people are so so rude with their phones now. It's not even just the teeangers. I had to move at a bus stop this week because a lady who was likely over 50 was watching videos with no headphones and it was driving me nuts.

I moved to wait down the road instead of continuing to sit next to her on the bench and she stopped the video sounds after that so I guess maybe some kind of awareness may have happened.

Unfortunately if you want a quiet journey these days you need to wear headphones or earplugs yourself because the knobheads who don’t want to wear headphones are gaining in number.

People like this don't care.
Unless you were a man. Then he would probably have reacted differently...

I'd have asked him to turn it off.

But I agree with @ChoppyWalters that the best solution to travelling anywhere nowadays is to provide yourself with earplugs. I have some Loop ones that I wear because other people's noise gets on my tits.

I don't think we can or should expect silence in public (unless in a specifically designated silent space, ofc), but then, pinging noises are very annoying so... on the fence 🤣 worth confronting? Probably not. The chance of getting a load of abuse back is never zero 😞

It’s a terribly selfish thing to do, playing sounds out loud on phones in public. Unfortunately, the people who do it are also the types that will get aggressive when you ask them to turn the sound down or use headphones.

Sometimes, during train journeys like yours, I fantasise about taking their phones and dropping them out of the train window.

Someone people just don’t give a shit and have no social awareness. I’d not have said anything because he wouldn’t have cared but might have walloped me!

I was in a quiet waiting room for my flu vaccination today and a man next to me got constant loud notifications on his phone. It was the only noise in the room and I thought wow what a selfish twat!

They’re awful aren’t they. So selfish. And it’s only getting worse.

And it’s not just on public transport. There was a similar thread a few days ago and I was reminded of a trip a couple of years ago for lunch at a rather nice country hotel (The Pig) and a family were having lunch at the table next to ours and all three of their children were watching iPads at high volume. In the end I asked to move tables as the staff felt unable to ask them to turn their volume down.

I think you were very reasonable. Unfortunately I've been in a similar situation and the man (and his awful wife) were extremely abusive to me, so even though I think we're in the right it's rather put me off approaching someone in the future.

I politely say, "Hello, would you mind putting your headphones in, please? You probably don't realise, but it's quite distracting!"

It's always a bit uncomfortable to say anything, but it's worked every time so far.

YANBU to challenge it, but I also think that if the person resists, it won't be worth trying to push harder. It's not worth an argument.

I never get on a train without headphones

I will get called ageist but the amount of older people who do this at the GPs, on the bus, at hospital is astonishing

I’m always on public transport and I can’t believe the degradation of manners in relation to this.

My favourite moment was when a woman was having a loud conversation on speakerphone and a woman sat next to her and started her own even louder speakerphone convo 🤣 the first woman’s face was a picture of shock as she was forced to end her call.

I just have my AirPods in 24/7 so I don’t have to listen to people’s crap.

I bet that there were other people around you who were also irritated by the noise of his phone, and thought that you were very brave for even trying to make him see reason!

It is annoying that you have to be the one to wear headphones to ignore the people who don't.

That’s totally unacceptable. I would have said something to them and complained to the manager. How dare they ruin other people’s lunch, and THREE iPads all on full volume?
it’s no wonder some kids can’t cope at school etc if they are allowed to do whatever the hell they like outside of it. And I know about SEN but refuse to believe all families who do this have kids with SEN.

I’ve often thought it would be very funny if the rest of the carriage/ bus started joining in on these conversations too. Ends up with everyone gathering around a phone giving their opinions on Veronica’s bad date (or whatever too).

There will always be annoying noises on trains. Most local to me have 'quiet' carriages. I would have chosen one of those if I needed to concentrate on work.

Of course it happens across all ages, but there is definitely an age thing involved. Younger people and older people blasting out noise and then those in the middle wondering what the hell’s happened!

😆