To wonder if it's actually worth approaching people like this?

[Chefpig]

On a train. A man got on and sat across from me and started playing a game on his phone quite loud, so sounds of cards shuffling and pinging constantly. I put up with it for a few minutes hoping he was going to realise it was loud and then asked very nicely and politely if he minded turning it down.

He replied, "what?" with a scowl on his face. I repeated myself and he spat back in an aggressive tone that he didn't know how to turn it down. Usually, I'd offer to show someone, but I could tell he wasn't a nice person. He was in his uniform too so not setting a great example for the company he works for.

I hoped he'd then turn the game off, but nope, carried on regardless. I was busy working on a stressful piece of work too. Not his problem but I hoped for at least a quiet enough carriage to concentrate. I eventually moved and told him I was doing so because he was antisocial and rude.

WIBU to challenge him?

Some people just don’t care.

Sat down on train this morning opposite a girl in her 20s who was on a video call, chatting to a guy very loudly in Japanese. Lots of laughing etc, no aren’t whatsoever to keep noise down.

I was watching a brief video on my phone with subtitles. I pressed on the video and it then started up with audio, no particularly loud but loud enough that she heard it when she stopped speaking for a second, and she had the cheek to look up at me surprised and a bit annoyed.

I had stopped the audio after a second or two but I was amazed at the gall and hypocrisy.

I was tempted to keep it going and turn it up loud but didn’t want to lower myself.

If only. Public transport would be so much better if this was the case.

I think phones not having headphone jacks now actually contributes to this problem. If you don't have wireless headphones, you can't just buy a cheap set of headphones to shove in. Doesn't excuse not being mindful of others but the tech is almost designed to be antisocial. The old walkmans and mp3 players didn't have speakers so there was no other option but to use headphones. Also the algorithim loops which encourages the person to just keep watching videos when it might have only been one.

They are, aren't they? But why?

I was on a train recently with a young man's music blaring, and a very big, agressive man told him to turn it down. so he did. I could tell if I had asked, as a small woman, I'd have been ignored. It was like watching apes square up to each other.

Overheard on a train a couple of weeks ago, loud videos of Bible stories, with deep-voiced American narration in the style of action movie trailer in which Jesus was the hero.

I’d have played death metal full blast in retaliation.

Some people are just oblivious. My office resounds to the sound of the one or two people who seem to have their endless Teams notifications set to top volume and don't seem to know how to operate the speaker settings

I do say something when in the quiet carriage, unless the person looks particularly intimidating.

My go to phrases are, ‘did you realise you are sitting in the quiet carriage?’ and ‘do you have some headphones to pop on, please?’ That tends to do the trick. I have also said, ‘hello, many of us book these seats deliberately as we want to travel in the quiet carriage to get work done. Please could you turn that down.’ And smile.

It works with nice people but not everyone falls into this category.

Ah, just realised OP wanted a quiet carriage but wasn’t actually sitting in the quiet carriage. That’s different. I would avoid saying anything if in an ordinary carriage and this is why I choose the quiet carriage on long journeys.

I have done this (after making sure the only people nearby were the ones with their phones on loud). It made no difference.

This never happens to me on public transport or elsewhere.

It's not because the passengers are polite and considerate though, it's because I am DEAF 😂

I disagree. All carriages should be free of twats and their headphoneless devices nit just the quiet carriage

Over time requests like this will probably lead to lower noise even if the initial response is a rebuff. So not a waste of time. Plus it cuts down your own resentment, you know you stood up for yourself and don't add insecurities about that to your angst.

Nope. Maybe if I was a big burly bloke I might feel differently but the world has become a very nasty place and I'd be frightened it would escalate.

I would have said if you are unable to turn it down you need to turn it off.
He would probably refuse and I would get up look for the guard and ask to be reseated in the quiet carriage.

@Flamingojune

I also agree that playing music or having noisy calls is rude in any public space. I just meant that I personally would not say anything unless I was in the quiet carriage.

It's the people shouting into phones on the bus in a foreign language that get to me. Like they think they need to shout because the other person is abroad.

That would just crack me up.

He was rude, but I think you sounded silly informing him why you were moving, he obviously didn’t care. If you want to do important work on public transport I recommend headphones

There always seems to be an assumption that trains have a 'quiet carriage'. The commuter trains where I live don't have one!

If I commuted nowadays I'd have to get myself some noise cancelling headphones because I can't stand other people's phone noise, or their eating noises, or their sniffing noises etc....yes, I suffer from misophonia.

I was on the bus one day and a couple were playing music and videos at full volume. Lots of tutting but noone said anything. I played some nice, loud Vera Lynn. I stopped when they did!!

Last time I was in the quiet carriage there was a therapist doing a call with a client and someone else discussing an upcoming court case.

Don't make it the victim's problem.

We need to have all carriages bar one as quiet carriages. And just one for the knobheads who think it's ok to make a racket. Let them all annoy eachother.

Hope you said something.

I used to work in a hospital. There was a bus for workers who had to go to work at another hospital nearby. On the walls of the bus were posters reminding staff about confidentiality.