Do you find it hard to identify with people who are a lot wealthier than you?

[Purplelivi]

I wasn’t really sure how to title this, but does anyone else find it really hard to relate to people who are a lot wealthier than they are? I’ll explain.

This is specifically to do with some family. Dh and I are comfortable off but despite both having fairly good incomes and being careful, there just isn’t loads of money left. That’s not a complaint as I feel we do ok.

But we have some older family members who are very well off, they live in very large houses indeed, were able to retire early, go on holidays every couple of months, always having their homes renovated.

That’s all fine and good, but dh and I find it a bit hard to stomach. They’ll sit there and say things like “why don’t you just go abroad for two weeks, why d PM you just get an extension, why don’t you just move to a nicer area”. They’ll tel us about some new houses being built and how they’re quite reasonable, only £xxx amount, which is way over what we could afford.

They got new kitchen and bathrooms a few years ago then changed their mind and are having it all ripped out and redone. They also will do things like send us links to their mates million pound houses on rightmove to show how lovely it is.

That’s all their own choice but sometimes I find it a bit out of touch and just don’t want to listen to it all.

To identify as a parallel no, but to get to know each other yes. True discussions about how we've grown up, mutual understanding we all have different backgrounds. At the end of the day, we get on with someone from personality, not wealth or judgement.

I have some wealthy friends and loud mouthed 'common' who all get along great together.

I think what you're saying is snobby behaviour and rich expectations, which we reply, no we don't live in your world.

So my comment, I've fortunately not encountered look down on you, rather oh how lovely to meet someone new. Hasn't happened within my family sphere but I'd it did I would be the same.

Ignore. I've never known a wealthy person to obsess about money like this. Sound to me like they are trying too hard to show off. They've probably got loads of debt.

you can’t relate as this people just rub their wealth onto you at every occasion. Sending rightmoves links of their friends house is particularly bad taste. They are jut show off and if they only talk about how they spend their money on holidays and house renovations and you don’t do these things then ofc you get bored very soon.
I know loads of wealthy people and conversion ranges from music, tv, world politics etc.
your family is just bore and I would avoid them

I know what you mean - not to the same level but I have friends who are always like "oh, you need a new X? Have you looked in (insert hugely posh shop here)" when most normal people would just get that item from Sainsbury's or something.

It's just a totally alien way of thinking to me and actually, even if I had loads of money I would still not spend to this level they are suggesting!

Oooh this sounds awful OP. Who wants to spend hours of their life listening to other people’s affluence and tone-deafness around what’s affordable? Try and change the script or limit the time / frequency of these gatherings, or make yourself busy elsewhere.

Not really, but the rich people I know don't shout about it or rub it in my face. I know one young guy who's a multimillionaire but you'd never know if you met him - lives a pretty normal life. I also like perusing the million pound houses on Rightmove 😂

I'm comfortable myself though and don't want a bigger house or to swap kitchens every two years (how wasteful), even if I could.

I don't understand how these people are so oblivious to the next generations struggles. My in laws moaning about how their house and savings might have to pay for their care. I mean , who is going to pay then ? The next generation won't live as long as we're all stessed out anyways, with massive mortgages. Doesn't stop them going on about how much their house had gone up when we were trying to get on the ladder. Making it harder and harder for everyone else. Ive decided I need to step back from these people. As I spend too much time going wtaf???

It's a really interesting question Op and thank you for asking!

I have one much wealthier friend and sometimes the things she mentions are not relatable, for example, big foreign holidays, regular spa visits, not having to consider her budget when she wants a big ticket item. I do not begrudge her joy in these things as she had a tough childhood and has worked very hard to get to where she is. She is not flashy, drives a basic car and is generous and values her friendships. I do not envy her as she is time poor and always rushing about.

But I do feel there is more of a gap between us than when we house shared and were on similar incomes, which I feel a bit sad about. And I think it is a phenomenon in society, having less limits choice, opportunities and can be isolating. Even down to shopping, there's a difference between budget shopping because there is no alternative and those in Mercs dropping by for a bargain.

Other than that, there are people who just don't read the room when it comes to financial wherewithal, for example, hearing someone say they need a better car to someone who can't afford to run one, when they are aware of that fact.

Could you start asking them for money?? So they will stop hiding it 😂

as if they talk about holidays just day oh ya need a break could be lend £xxxx