To want to sell the car

[Sallysredshoes]

Probably a bit of a long one
I think I'm being unreasonable..but I'm not convinced what DH wants to do is reasonable either .
So bought a 2 year old car ,3 months ago
Old car was electric but didn't have a long range and caused family members a lot of stress having to wait to charge it ....but I loved driving it
This new car is not electric .
We have an adult family that sometimes need driving places
I am the main driver of the car
However ...I am struggling..it's huge ,it's difficult to park
I want to sell it and put £2000 towards another electric car with a longer range.
DH says it's already lost £2000 in value since he bought it
DH wants to pay £2000 to buy me a 20 year old car to drive around town in ,and keep a 2 year old car sitting on the drive to occasionally use to ferry family about .. probably once or twice a month.
That's the bare bones of it
But there's obviously a lot more detail that would just derail the issue of what to do ..so he's happy to spend £2000 ...but not to sell the car
We are not rolling in money and it seems madness buying another car and having to tax and insure it ,plus pay for repairs on an old car

Can't you suggest getting a smaller, non electric car then?

There's two issues
The electric car wasn't working for the family
The current car is too big for you

The electric car would of worked for the family ,had we of got a longer range in the first place

I've suggested all sorts
I feel it's a waste of a car to leave it sitting on the drive and only use twice a month

we actually have what DH is suggesting. It works well for us, perhaps extravagant but we have the space when we need it but not putting lots of small journey/miles on the more expensive car so it’s holding its value more.

how you write suggests you like how electrics drive, is that the real issue here?

How big is the car? Give it a bit longer to get used to it?

You will get used to the size of it, just keep it. If you still don’t like it in 6 months then figure out your options from then. It won’t further depreciate in that time, you’ve already taken that hit.
Im suggesting that you avoid a/another hasty expensive decision you may regret.

Why would you buy a petrol car? It’s nearly £2 a litre. I’d sell and get an EV with a decent range.

You’re the driver. You call the shots. If your ADULT family need to go somewhere they can either drive themselves in their own cars or they can get a lift from you in the car you have chosen. It’s bonkers that the person who is the main driver and is expected to ferry people about doesn’t get a say in the car she’s expected to use.

You could try to persuade him to get a hybrid, @Sallysredshoes . It takes all the fear and uncertainty out of using your car. We pootle about happily on electricity for weeks on end and then the times when we do a big trip, the petrol kicks in when needed and we know we'll get where we're going without the angst of having to stop and recharge/find a charging station. It's very, very cheap to run.
That doesn't solve the problem of the car that sits on the drive most of the time. That makes it seem that your husband just wants a Big Car and, even if he's not actually driving, he likes other people seeing it outside your house.
I'm not sure you will find a really small all-electric car with a significantly larger range though, because of the battery size that requires. Whatever you do, don't agree to the 20 year old banger, particularly if you're the one who needs to use the car. It will cost you more in the long run, in terms of fuel and maintenance, and it sounds as if you need something reliable.

Is this about the 2 year old car having some sort of status that he doesn't want to let go of?

You are the main driver so you call the shots. Who is the registered keeper? If you can afford a longer range EV then I would start looking at those and then present that to your Dh but remind him no one voting him King of all decisions.

is the garage you bought the car nearby?

i’d say nothimg and just take myself off up there and find out how much they give you to trade it in against something else.

preferably the same as your old car but with a more updated range as that seems to be the only issue here.

once you can tell dh what the trade in is and what they can offer you that would make it clearer how to proceed. i’d also ask about trading in against something else thats about the size you need and is easy to park. some park themselves. thats handy in town!

try and get the salesperson you had before. tell him not to contact dh as youll speak to him yourself.

We are thanking our lucky stars we have an EV with the price of petrol at the moment. It cost us £12 to charge last month (for all our usage) and DH got back £40 in mileage from work! We do have a petrol ‘holiday car’ as we take dogs and bikes so we have a big 7-seater with roof bars etc, but day to day the EV is used and saves a lot of money.

It’s rubbish driving a car you aren’t confident in. At some point there’s the sunken cost fallacy - if it isn’t being used then the money is wasted anyway.

The range on some EVs is great - we have an EV6 which is 300+ miles. It’s not small but it does drive like a small car, electric cars generally do as they’re a much smoother driving experience. But there’s loads of options now.

I had some driving lessons, 20+ years after I originally passed my test, to master parking properly. Would that be an option?

I have a hybrid Mazda 2/Yaris under the badge, I tend to drive it on longer drives at the weekend and do no commuting miles as wfh, so I just fill up once a month usually.

Thanks for all the messages
As I said ..I do feel I am being unreasonable.. asking him to change it ..and yes he already had to pay more because I need automatic
But id no idea how much the electric car was giving me confidence, untill it was gone .
The adult family we drive ,don't drive themselves,and DH felt the last car was to small for them to be comfortable in.
Plus stopping to charge caused them stress .
But DH always said a longer range electric car was out of our reach financially...then he turns up with this massive tank ..that I actually said was to much money..and now he wants to spend another £2000 we haven't got on another car ...so actually we could of just got a longer range electric car to start with ..
I feel a bit cross ,that he just ruled out a longer range electric car .. despite us having a charger at home ,then went and spent the same amount of money on a petrol monstrosity.
I think it goes deeper than the car .. because I'm actually really upset he doesn't seem to care about me ..I feel my needs and wants always come last in this family...but that is a whole other thread and a thread for another day

DH's seem to have this fascination for bigger cars for the family. They drive them once in a blue moon but expect DW to drive them every day with the difficult parking and narrow roads.

Its madness. What the fuck is this 'he will allow you to buy a cheap £2000 car to run around in'. Fuck that, you are an adult. Drive the car to the dealership. Tell them its a pile of shit and you want a smaller electric car with a better range. Drive home.

When DH asks what the hell you have done tell him he is welcome to buy a cheap £2000 big car to sit on the drive and not get used.

Since when did a man tell you what to do with family money?

You sound like my daughter
That is exactly what she would say to me
You made me cry actually
Fucking menopause
This is what happens after 30 years of no financial independence,due to being a carer for disabled adult DC .
You just can't make decisions for yourself,that suits yourself.
I passed my test very late in life and I've managed to get my confidence up driving

Not managed to get my confidence up driving that should say

Obviously I know nothing about you but you mention a disabled adult daughter, I’m the same and we have a motability car, would she qualify for one ? We have electric, I’d find going back to petrol / diesel very hard to go back to now after driving an electric car. Especially as you have a home charger already.

It's my son who is disabled
He definitely would qualify for one
But he can't drive and hates going anywhere in the car
And I'd only be able to use it for journeys that benefit him
So obviously buying him shopping and stuff ,would be ok ..
But what about when I leave the house for something not for him ,I wouldn't be able to take the car .
So we decided against that

I'm going to talk to DH again tonight
Maybe I need to be A BIT more pushy ,than I usually am

Have rolled with my DHs car choices through most of our marriage. One of our cars had to be written off a few years back and my DH was coming up with really random replacement suggestions. I put my foot down and found a direct, though newer, replacement. All fine!
My DH has been used to a new car regularly, which I don't hold with. However, needed to change our electric car recently, as the current one was too small. DH planned to keep that one on the garage for when the children were old enough to drive.
It was pointless doing this, so I sourced a suitable car that I wanted (for a change!) and insisted that the old one was part exd. We don't have huge amounts of money either. (Have already had some fun with long distance charging - DH is useless and thinks he knows best!)
Your DH is being ridiculous. You need a car that you feel confident to drive and suits your requirements. For driving random relatives occasionally, he can hire a car, insist they get a taxi etc. Anything but inconvenience you and dismiss your requirements.
Hold firm!

Quietly firm and assertive. Make a note of what you want to say before hand if that helps.....

Absolutely didnt mean to upset you so if i did i apologize.

If you are going to talk to DH make it about what you want, not what he wants.

You want a EV car. Automatic. Better range. Reasonable size.

Its not a negotiation.

It's only devaluing every day so the sooner it gets traded in the better.

But yeah - this is about what he thinks about you and your needs, to be honest. Why does he want to keep this one so much? You haven't really answered that.

You do not want a £2k car. We paid £5k for a 10 year old car about 4 years ago and the last MOT cost us £900 to get it through so we've just traded it in.