To Leave him bcos he lied?

[AbiGaillll]

He lied about having a diagnosed health condition that preexisted us meeting. It significantly impacts on our marital life now but he hid it successfully during the 2-3 years we dated before marrying

AIBU to leave?

If you want to leave him, do it. You can leave for any reason. He should have been honest with you.

This, always this.

You can leave for ANY reason. Marriage is not a prison.

But yes, it sounds like a huge lie, and yes I would be considering my options if that happened to me.

Would you leave him if he'd developed the condition after you married? Or is it the lying that's the issue?

When you say he lied, do you mean he didn't mention it because it was well controlled when you met and wasn't causing any issues? If so, I wouldn't exactly call it lying. I don't disclose my health history unless this is something which is relevant in the moment. For example, not disclosing AIDS is highly questionable while not disclosing underactive thyroid which is well managed is absolutely fine. There is a big spectrum between terminal cancer and athlete's foot. You are not entitled to your partner's full medical record. Not even as a spouse. It's private information and up to him whether he feels he wants or needs to disclose it.

Having said that, if you want to leave you are within your right to do so.

I'm sorry to hear this OP.

But there's no need to ask Mumsnet if you want to leave your husband.

Depends on the health condition. Can you elaborate?

YANBU. It sounds like he wanted to secure a permanent carer for himself in sickness, or a nurse with a purse.

A marriage under false pretences is not a marriage and the vows do not apply.

Leave him.

I think this is important.

If it’s the lying that’s the issue, I’d be asking myself if this is part of a broader pattern of lying or it was just this issue. Then I’d look at whether I could have any compassion for why he might have lied and if I could look past it or not.

This.