AIBU to ask for life hacks to make life easier for ‘future me’

[WoesFromAuntFlo]

I have a few different health conditions that mean I have a good week, followed by 1-2 low energy bad weeks.

During those bad weeks I can struggle with even the most basic of tasks. The house gets messy and cluttered, dinners end up being takeaways, I resort to wearing slobby clothes, and the guilt piles up to make me feel worse on top.

I was thinking it could be a good idea to try and prep for ‘future me’ so that things feel less impossible when the bad weeks hit.

AIBU to ask what kind of things you’d do to make life easier for future you if you were in my shoes? Anything to do with cooking, home organising, tidying, even self care would be seriously appreciated.

Thank you

Try a food delivery service like Field Doctor. Healthy frozen ready meals UPF free and very tasty. They deliver and you can keep in the freezer till you need them. Microwave in 8 mins or something.

Watching, because I have the same problem . There are apps apparently that send out prompts but I haven't got around to looking at them.

The only thing I'm consistent with is leaving the house every single day for 30 minutes minimum, even if I don't have a reason to - and that started to get my step count up and now it's habit like brushing my teeth .

Firstly who actually cares that the house is messy or wear slobby clothes? Anyone who matters knows why.

As someone suggested healthy ready meals. Another option if you don't have too big an apatite is Wiltshire farm foods.

You could batch cook when well and freeze..

I understand robot vacuum cleaners are good and if you worry about floors being dirty some can even mop now.

If you can buy extra clothes and only do washing when you feel better.

Dishwasher is good and easy too

I’d make freezer dump bags to chuck in the slow cooker like these: www.tamingtwins.com/slow-cooker-dump-bag-recipes/ . You can chuck in some frozen veg and pasta/noodles near the end (or get the microwave pouches) to have a complete meal.

id also buy slow cooker liners so you don’t have to wash it up.

maybe keep a freezer drawer of basics - a couple of pints of milk, loaf of bread etc plus frozen veg. That might help avoid needing to go shopping on a bad week. Plus some tins of soup, beans, tuna etc for lunches.

Try and head off a flare up by immediately doing whatever you need to (rest up in bed for example) rather than attempting to soldier through. And take enough rest during the ok weeks so you don’t overstretch.

Put a selection of super comfy but also nice outfits (including underwear, socks etc) on hangers so you have some grab and go outfits. Even if it’s just leggings, a t shirt and jumper, at least if you select when you’re not feeling ill/exhausted, they’ll be bit more put together. I quite like next “ the set” items if you wanted some comfy “uniform” type outfits to mix and match.

If you can afford to have a cleaner then do, even on you better weeks you can save some spoons for more important things, and on bad weeks it will force you to tidy a bit.

Declutter if you can, it’s so much easier
to be tidy if everything has a home and there’s not too much stuff everywhere.

Batch cook when you feel well and freeze portions for bad weeks.

Set up a favourites list in a shopping app like Tesco so that on a bad week you just have to add favourites to a basket and food will appear!

Set up some comfy outfits that
mix and match well, jersey trousers, T-shirts and sweaters that mix and match well. That means you will be able to wear comfy without being scruffy.

Always try and prep for tomorrow you.
Before you end your day, make yourself do the dishes/tidy that stack of papers/lay out your clothes/prep your work bag/put out your teacup and spoon...

Whatever it is, you won't regret that bit of effort when it is all nice and ready for you in the morning and it starts your day off better than having to sort it all then (also relieves the mental load too).

First of all, the fact that you've come to terms with the fact that there will be, "Future Me" is a big step.

I have a funny neurological thing going on. Might be Lyme Disease might be something else. I just keep being bounced around doctors at the moment but I do realise what you are trying to say.

I think it is a mistake to try to go on to hyperdrive mode when you do feel OK because that will only make the inevitable crash worse. Then you will feel frustrated.

Pace yourself. There's several theories out there - like the, "Spoon Theory" and what have you - which you can google but the essential trick is to set a baseline.

Do the day. Crazy batch cooking or decluttering or fragging out the kitchen on a good day won't work in the long term.

Maybe try to set a, "Medium You." I can't say which particular tasks or standards you feel terrible about if you don't manage to do them or reach them because everybody is different but manage your baseline and then do the odd bonus. When you can.

It sucks though.

I’d have half a dozen nice ish outfits hanging in my wardrobe, with accessories (and even underwear if you have enough knocking about) that I could just grab and go When I was feeling a bit rough.

I mean, depends how much money you have:

hire a cleaner?
schedule regular online grocery deliveries so you don’t run out of food / need takeaway?
buy more clothes if doing the laundry is too much

As well as preparing for tomorrow you, optimise your life and processes. I give you this illustration example from mine, purely so you can see what I mean and consider how you could apply the same principles to yours

• When I travel to the office, I have to get up earlier than WFH. Each night, my bag is packed and by the door (breakfast is in the fridge in a travel-safe container).
• Alarm goes and I am out of bed and directly into the shower.
• Dressing gown on wet body (drying me) as I brush my teeth and put gunk in my hair. Leave hair to dry naturally en route (dgaf what other people think of it!). Get dressed from clothes already laid out. I can genuinely be up and out the door in 15-20 mins.
• I purposely get an early train as there is a fare quirk on my route which means I can get cheap fares on that service, plus I will definitely get a spot at the v busy station car park. And best of all - very few other passengers so always get a seat too.
• Get to work, fix my (now dry) hair and makeup. Make a cup of tea, eat my breakfast and sort out my day in peace, all well before anyone else arrives.
• Because of my early start, I also leave earlier so again avoid the rush hour stress/crush, and can usually be home in time to pop down the gym for a quick workout, and be back home at a "normal" work-ending time.

All of that started from getting up earlier than normal for the train because I realised that getting up early or getting up earlier was always going to be grim, so I may as well make it to my advantage. The quirk train fare and the rest of it followed on till I have made it as optimised as possible. In time terms, it gives me back a normal evening; in stress terms it means I have a pleasant, stress-free commute both ways; and in financial terms it's reduced my office day costs from £50 to £35 each trip (roughly).

I cook and freeze a few different types of meals, so they are handy to pull out. I make and freeze cookie dough, raw scones and baked muffins too that are easy to pull out. I have a robot mop/hoover thing that keeps the floors look reasonably clean and tidy. I do a Tesco click and collect order.

I batch cook and freeze food in single serving cubes : https://amzn.eu/d/0fbscm65

Then you just microwave it and serve with rice/pasta/frozen mash. I do chilli, bolognese, stews, curry etc. much healthier than takeaways.

I have anxiety and on my bad weeks, I struggle with basic tasks, too, so I thought about how to make my life easier on those weeks.

I have a cleaner. It's an expense that I could do without sometimes, but I like having a clean house, which isn't always easy due to my working hours and having pets. I also have a robotic vacuum cleaner that mops.

I have reminders on my phone/Google calendar for which bins need to go out, appointments and things that I am likely to forget (I have a poor memory).

Someone comes to cut the grass (he does my neighbour's garden, too).

My washing machine is the biggest one that I could buy, so laundry consists of a dark load, 1-2 light loads (mainly due to bedding and towels), and a load of work clothes a week. I have a lot of pairs of socks, underwear and work clothes, as they make up the bulk of what I wear.

I do batch cooking on my weekends off, and either eat the same thing several days in a row, or freeze and defrost things. A slow cooker is handy for this, as is the dishwasher to deal with the glut of pots! It means that I get to eat healthy, nutritious food with minimal effort all week.

All of my bills and big payments are aligned to go out on pay-day, so that I know how much I will have left for the rest of the month.

'Big' food shops are delivered, and I have Amazon Subscribe and Save set up for other items like antihistamines, creams, pet items and so on.

'Slobby' clothes are kept to a minimum. I have pyjamas, work clothes and smart/casual clothes. Clothes are put out the night before.

Might 'smart' items work in your house? There are ones that run your bath for you, put the kettle on to boil, motion sensor lighting... whatever will help you.

As for self-care, it depends on how extreme you need/are willing to be! For me, it's permanent hair straightening (my hair never looks tidy or controlled otherwise) and laser hair removal (I love not having to think about whether I need to shave my legs, of it I've missed a bit, when wearing a dress/skirt). Other than that, I'm a low maintenance kind of person in the self-care stakes, but I have friends who also get their nails done so that they don't have to worry about their nails letting their appearance down, or just to cheer them up as that's one thing that they can see that looks nice to them!

@WoesFromAuntFlo Sorry you feel shite
sensible stuff
Big batch cook when you feel good- soup and easy to heat stuff
Robovac or mop
Some nice stuff for self care like aromatic wash stuff
Some comfy casual clothes put together in outfits

Then stuff for when you are ill
Some books/ films stuff that you can just watch from bed- why not
Put yourself a mini fridge and a tray by your bed so you can make tea without getting up
Take the opportunity to lie there with a face mask on- if you are lying there anyway why not
Audiobooks/ kindle books
Get yourself nice bedding so you are comfy
make it as easy as possible to have a shower -if not nice wipes
If you cannot get up and down the stairs get a microwave in your bedroom and get some meals that you can heat parsleybox though they are not great
Make yourself a little nest- phone fridge tv wash stuff
Move yourself to where you can get to kitchen/bathroom easily
Be kind to yourself- do not berate yourself for being ill

I’m a child of the 60s and have worked in the days of time and motion studies! I do this in my personal life too - never walk anywhere unnecessarily - give it extra meaning by moving stuff into piles as appropriate - I leave stuff at the bottom of stairs until I next go up them, leave recycling near back door to go out together, put things by front door that need to go in my car or be taken to work
I meal prep 2-3 days lunches for work, plan entire week meals and shop accordingly
Choose clothes on a Sunday for week to come
Have a mental list of tasks that need to be done in less than an hour and try and tick one off each day - on bad days they just get moved or postponed to next day
Biggy for me don’t sweat the small stuff it will wait! I’ve had to lower my standards and prioritise - nutrition and rest first - basic hygiene house and personal next - anything else can wait - dust won’t kill me but kitchen hygiene might make me ill
Good example is I returned from holiday over 2 weeks ago and I’ve not unpacked my suitcase properly - I took out and washed the dirty things but the rest can wait till I feel well enough or have a sudden burst of energy

Meal prep. Things like curries, stews, pasta bakes, chicken and rice/veg anything you can make a large portion of and then divide up and freeze.

Always pick an outfit and hang it on the front of the wardrobe the day before work/going anywhere.

Get a medication box with the days of the week on and fill it up weekly (that’s if you take any meds or supplements)

Wash hair 1-2 times a week MAXIMUM. And use dry shampoo on the days you feel it’s starting to get greasy.

If you’re only staying at home during the bad weeks - don’t worry about “slobby” clothes.

Some great ideas already. I've been poorly for a few years and I could not have continued to work without my DH who has picked up the pieces and done everything that I couldn't. I feel your pain.

I think the advice to make your life as simple as possible is good. Find homes for everything so that you can keep things under control rather than sliding into a muddle that you have to clear up which then takes effort. Get in the habit of always putting things away.

Ditto cleaning, wipe a bit as you go to avoid the need for a bigger clean.

I'm a great fan of "meal of the week", cook a big slow cooker meal, a lasagne or whatever you like and eat it for a few days. Freeze additional portions. Label everything clearly.

Convenience food is fine, tinned potatoes, microwave rice, easy cook noodles. Beans & cheese on toast or jacket potato isn't a bad meal. Try to avoid too much junk food (it's family packs of crisps in place of meals for me 🙄).

I agree with the PP who said pace yourself over the good days and weeks. It isn't like just being busy where you can rush around and get lots done on quieter days, you need to rest and recover in the good times. Also try to do some nice things in the good times, it's easy to drop into simply surviving. Good things may be a short walk, a book or whatever you are up too.

Good luck 😘

Past me always preps the coffee the night before because no matter how knackered I am at night, I know i won't feel less knackered in the morning.

My mindset shifted when I thought of two things:

1. It's an extra. It's a favour. So I thank myself st the time of doing the prep. To actually thank yourself for being kind to yourself is good for your wellbeing.

1. I'm never going to want to do this task more at another time. So no "I'll do it later" for things like the dishes. I make the meal, take the dishes out, wash them, dry.them and put them away (or dishwasher, whatever), the important thing is to do it now, while you have the physical energy.

I also actively make choices. When I reach for my slobby clothes, I tell myself that it takes as much effort to put on shit leggings as it does nice jeans. So I'll wear the (looser style) jeans. Obviously the slobby leggings have their place but not when I'm in a bad frame of mind. I also ban myself from thinking. Yes, sure, I might not feel like putting on makeup but I will because it's the routine and in not arguing with myself so tough, on it goes.

But in case you need to hear it, you're a person, not a robot, and it's OK to have a few bad weeks and accept you'll deal with it when you feel more up.

I'd reduce possessions wherever possible as the simpler your home is the fewer jobs there are to do each day.

I’ve just found out about ‘souper’ cubes and bought a cheap version on Amazon.
On a good week prep cooked ingredients tk freeze instead of full meals and then freeze in 1 cup or ½ cup portions. Whenever you cook at all maybe make a bit extra and freeze and slowly build up a stash. If you freeze components in either a carb, protein or veg separately it gives you endless combinations when you don’t have the energy to cook. I’m probably not explaining it too well but maybe look up ‘Lego Meals’ on YouTube.

Before anyone says it’s just meal prepping and freezing, yes that’s true but for some reason in this format it's stuck with me and im building a freezer full now, whereas I tried to follow the batch cook lady etc before and it never stuck.

Also, I’d rescue my robot vaccum in a fire. 100% worth the money. There’s an Amazon prime day coming up soon I think so worth keeping an eye out for a good one.

Get a notebook and pen and keep it next to you as much as possible on your next low week. Everytime something bothers you write it down. Not to deal with right then but to see how you can make yourself more comfortable the next time.
If it's dirty dishes you could get paper plates in. If it's lack of variety in food you could pre-make fruit and nut jars, buy in extra fruit or chocolate or batch cook. If personal cleanliness is getting you down you could set up a lottle station with wipes and moisturiser next to your bed.

I'd try using the good week to cook and eat the most nutritious meals I could, take whatever excercise I could manage, see friends, family or do hobbies, but gently pacing myself, rest without guilt, try therapies and try to get plenty of sleep. I'd do this as an experiment to see it it made the bad weeks easier, rather than rushing round and getting into a boom and bust cycle.