Is it normal to not know you are burnt out

[towelseverywhereohno]

Until its too late? Aka, you have a massive deadline, you hit the deadline on time, think you are fine but crash pretty much the moment you hit send?

In my experience yes
Throughout my entire life I’ve crashed after milestones, deadlines and (of course) on every single holiday I’ve been on. Recognising the patterns and giving more breaks is something I’ve worked upon.

The whole project is pretty much wrapped up today. It is only a report but it has been so stressful. I completed it yesterday. So many days of staying up until 1am to complete. So behind with emails and other stuff. Today I just feel so tearful and like I just can't function.

In all my line management I have told my manager I am fine. I thought I was. I feel terrible. It's like I woke up and my body switched off.

Yep, I completely recognise that feeling. I assume it's some kind of evolutionary thing to get you through threats by running at over capacity and then resting/crashing when you're safe. Time for a break mentally and physically ❤️

Sounds like you need a day or 2 off. Can you cash in some time for all the 1am finishes? Maybe just work thurs & Fri this week then it’s the weekend

That’s not burnt out as such, burnout is far more long term and after a chronic build up of stress. What you’re experiencing is called the letdown effect and is very common after periods of high cortisol and adrenaline. Very normal and very fixable with a break in the stress. Look after yourself for a few days/a week or so, fill your cup, and you should find yourself feeling more restored

I used to work in a project environment with pressurised deadlines and after every major project I would get sick. I'd pushed myself so hard for so long that I ran out of energy. At the time I wouldn't have recognised it as burn out and I still don't as after a week or so of taking it easy, (sometimes with a few days off) and not having any major deadlines I felt restored and back to my usual self.

Needing time to recover after something major and difficult is quite normal and o wouldn’t call it burn out as it’s something most people recover form quite quickly

when you have lived through this a few times you start to schedule quiet time afterwards - some people advise having a honeymoon some time after the wedding for this very reason

even if you feel fine in the run up

That happened to me. The difference was, I knew I wasn't coping at the time of the pressure, but I kept thinking "once I've got to x milestone, then i can relax". It only really hit me once I'd completed a big milestone, and rather than feeling better, I felt worse and worse. I'd already stopped eating or sleeping before that, and having horrific nightmares during the project, but it wasn't until after it finished that I really spiralled. I ended up off work for 6 weeks, and eventually moving into a different field.

So I was aware beforehand, but it got much worse after the major external stress ended, and that's when I knew I needed help.

This project has just gone on for so long. I am a single mum and have been trying to keep up and I think I just need to take a day off work to sleep!

Yes, I was in a job where I had a massive massive workload. A dreadful boss and an equally dreadful team member. I eventually left and had to take a few months off. I literally stopped being able to function after leaving. About 4 months later I took a much lower rank job and slowly recovered, it took about a year. Eventually went for a job of higher rank than the job I left and got it and am thrieving.

It's normal and common to be exhausted after a heavy project, physical or mentally draining.

Being burnt out goes a lot deeper than that and will take a lot more recovery and effort to get out of it.

I think it's from months of having a huge workload, sleep deprivation, getting up at 6 for school run, dropping to school, work, hobbies, home., tea, more work, bed, then sports all weekend plus all the other commitments I have. Severe sleep deprivation for nearly a year and now I just feel shut down like I am frozen.

I am sure, but what I meant is that normal exhaustion just needs a 10 days holidays and you'll be fine. Busy life with kids is normal.

but if you are really burnt out, a holiday won't touch it and you need a lot more help to get over it.

It's not to take lightly.

Do you think ship wreckers in Bangladesh get “burnout”? It’s just an excuse for lazy people to abdicate their responsibilities.

bit harsh, and not true.

Some people carry on and push through, even when they're struggling, even when they are burnt out.

Others just feel a bit "anxious/ depressed/ tired" and use any excuse to do nothing.

When it's not an excuse but a real thing, surely we should encourage them to get all the help they need?

We should encourage them to shut the fuck up and get on with it. We built civilisation this way.

This is information, you can ignore it or you can use it and adjust things accordingly. If you're consistently over capacity, then something is going to and will give.

and you are just being goady because you are bored, or you have the same attitude towards women struggling with PND?

I finally crashed out on holiday in Scotland one year. I'd driven from Bradford to Stranraer and prior to that had been working in home care like a mad-woman. I had totally, totally hit a metaphorical wall and im ashamed to say I fell asleep driving. I had reached my limit. Yet still, my superiors still called me (during my 10 day holiday) to ask and poke me into coming home early to "Help the team out"
I couldn't take any more.
I couldn't fall asleep driving with all 3 of my children and DP in car...
I couldn't leave the house at 4.45am and return at 23.30pm....
After the holiday I spilled it all to my (lovely) Doctor. He signed me off work for a months with Work Related Stress.
Management were not happy and apparently I'd "Let the team down "
I ended up leaving Home Care, which was very sad because I simply adored my service users.
You can only put up with so much and have to look after yourself.
As a result of having no spare time I had neglected to go see my dentist regarding a rotting tooth. Said tooth became a huge fast growing abscess which went right through my cheek, 24 hours later it had travelled through my sinuses and into my brain, causing a Subdural Empyema and bleed. I was given 24 hours to live at I had sepsis too by now.
I was in a neuro unit for 4.5 months.
I never went back to Home Care, let alone work.
You need tonpace yourself, eat, hydrate, breathe deeply and maybe be still for 5 minutes to gather yourself.
Don't make yourself ill like I did. Sorry for the huge derail.
I Just want to demonstrate what happens when you take things too far

yes totally normal - you spend weeks months or years suppressing your needs to keep going, so you don't realise until you stop trying to suppress.

It's why people classically fall ill as soon as the holidays start.

and it take LOADS longer to recover than we appreciate.