Increase work hours?

[ohsotired2022]

Please tell me straight and honestly.
I need it.
I currently work 3 days as a Nurse in the Community. I love it. The job is interesting and the days fly by.
my DH works F/T.
we have 3 children. Oldest has left home. Youngest DD (12) is Autistic and can be challenging.
Our mortgage is about to go up.
DH says I have to increase hours to help us manage.
I can’t increase where I am.
a similar post has come up, I have applied and have an interview.
I’ve heard this job will be more full on, more demanding, more stressful.

I just feel a bit sad that I have finally after 20 years found a role that feels right and have to move on as financially it just doesn’t work.

it feels impossible to find the right job, work / life balance.

I don’t know how this works as you’re in the community but could you keep your current role but pick up a bank shift somewhere?

I need more info before l give a proper response including does he do his fair share of house work, child supervision etc. If you work more then will he be stepping up at home?

@itwasntme2019There’s really not a lot of Bank Shifts where I am. There’s been a major freeze on jobs and Bank.
I’m not general trained.

@SweatySpider321
He does pull his weight and has his jobs to do.
I definitely do more. On the days I don’t work, I’m cleaning the house, doing the washing, walking the Dog, school drop offs and pick ups

Is there also any scope to trim expenses, have a look at: Do a money makeover and potentially save £1,000s - Money Saving Expert

On days you both work, can you both adjust your hours so you each do drop off or pick up, along with breakfast or dinner as appropriate?

Make sure he knows that you working more also means he has to do more in the house.

Or with the youngest being 12, can they make a dinner each week? Or a couple of nights they both work together to produce dinner if the 12 YO isn't capable of cooking solo.

But however much you work, cleaning isn't just your job, which is what it sounds like at the moment.

He does do his “chores” so he,
puts all the weekly washing away.
Does the weekly food shop
picks DD up on a Tuesday and takes her to dance
picks DS up from part time job
makes our dinner most nights
cuts the grass

then I
do all the washing
do all school drop offs
do most pick ups
walk the Dog in the morning
wash bathroom, en suite and downstairs loo
hoover the house
dust, clean, tidy and
everything else that needs done

Does it really matter who does what ‘chores’ if you need the money? It’s lovely you’ve been able to be part time in a nice job for so long, but if that’s come to an end due to financial pressure then it is what it is. YANBU to be sad, it’s just a crap part of being an adult

how demanding is dd? Does she need much support?

It doesn't read as though you're doing 15 hours more work than he is, so maybe the balance is tipped in his favour?

Even if you aren't general trained surely you can get a bank shift on a MH / LD (or whatever) ward.

If the figures aren't stacking something has to give.

I don’t mean to sound snippy (hopefully I don’t) but most adults have to work full time. It’s the norm. Especially adults with a rising mortgage.
If you love love love your part time job then maybe you could look at a second (weekend?) job to supplement your income to a full time wage?

Huh?

id be wanting to check out the REALITY of these numbers, working 3 days means lower tax band? Lower amount going into pension?

So does the 5 days really mean much more money?

or is he just jealous you’re working part time 🤔
you can’t underestimate how good it is to have a job you REALLY love, I wouldn’t leave that for money

Keep the job you love, and if there isn't bank work, pick up a shift a week with a care/nursing agency.

If you aren't general you must be LD or MH? Surely the wards must need bank shifts filling for sickness?

Can you train to be a complaints investigator for your trust? This is often extra hours on an ad hoc basis. You can do that it whatever hours you fancy them

I wouldn't leave a job you love.

I would pick up a second job, even if it's in a totally different field or you need to retrain.

It doesn’t matter who does what down to who puts away the knives and forks

your bills are going up and you’ve had 20 years of working part time that your husband has had to bear the brunt of financially.

I agree with a previous poster, do some bank but join an agency. Have you applied for DLA for your child etc

You need to pick up hours. Loan doesn't pay itself. Or you need to spend less money?

Trouble is, you say you wouldn't leave a job you love for money, but what if its a choice of increase to full time (which op can't do in current job) or the family not be able to pay bills due to mortgage increase. That may be the choice here sadly.

Thanks for replies @Whaleandsnail6is spot on.
it’s due to our mortgage rate going up that it’s now not financially possible to stay on a 3 day a week post.

I’ve not been in this part-time job for the last 20 years. Only since the start of this year. I’ve worked across different parts of NHS and feel like I’ve finally found a role that I like.
I’ve worked F/T over the years but has been hard at times against demands of 3 children and childcare costs

My skill set and experience mean that there isn’t a lot I can do on the Nurse Bank, but maybe I’m not looking hard enough and maybe I need to think outside the box.

I’ve applied for the F/T post so we’ll see where this leads.

thanks for comments.

This isn’t a thread about workload though, is it? I mean clearly two teenage kids can learn to do the laundry and clean the bathroom so the chores can be divvied up.

It is simply a thread about making ends meet. If you cannot trim outgoings, then the only choice is to change jobs and increase income. So it sounds like your dh is completely right.

It is sad though; a good part-time job is a very rare thing indeed and presumably you’re not a spring chicken if you have an adult dd you must be in your 40s. Working part time so you have spare energy is so helpful as you enter your menopause years.

However - the bills have to be paid. I wish you best of luck.

I think you have to focus on the fact you've been lucky to be able to get by in a part time role so far, rather than focusing on your sadness about having to return to full-time work. Your phrasing is a bit odd - your dh says you need to return to full-time work? Don't you agree? Do you have an alternative plan?

I think the norm is working full-time, especially with older dc. Most people would prefer not to go to work, but it just isn't realistic. I think you should give the new place a go, once you settle in it might not be as bad as you're imagining, and if it is you can keep your eyes open for a full-time role you prefer.

Does your trust have 111 option 2? They are always looking for bank staff. You could do a long day on a Sunday, or a Saturday night, and take home a nice few hundred pounds.

I wouldn’t want to leave a job I love. If there’s no nurse bank rules, could you pick up an overnight carer/ sleep in role in a residential home for adults or children?

Agree with pp. Try and look for bank/part time care work or other work in the nhs to make up the hours. You definitely need something to plug the gap but it would be a shame to leave a job you love

Could you keep your position and maybe do bank at a care home ??

Is there a way of cutting expenditure instead?

Or looking a bit harder for some extra shifts/ second jobs?

I wouldn’t recommend leaving a job you really love as they’re so hard to come by

Could you keep your current job and do bank shifts elsewhere?