If it wasn’t for me, she’d be in care

[Coldiron]

Spoken by a single Dad, clearly expecting praise for looking after his own child 🙄

Was I being unreasonable to ignore his comment and not congratulate him?

So much information missing
impossible to comment

He sounds like a dick

His own child?
a relatives child?
a strangers child?

He was expecting praise from all the little women

Well yes, lots and lots of children would be in care if they didn't have parents to look after them...so it's a silly thing to say.

What relevant bits are you missing out deliberately?

Not sure what backstory people are looking for. This was a brief conversation with someone I didn’t know. I can’t imagine a single mum ever saying the same thing

posters have set out what details they’re looking for. I accept it was a stupid thing to say but so what, we all say stupid things

His own child, as per the original post

He was expecting to you to agree and go that's amazing not understanding thats what parents actually do. Sounds like a person who doesn't have much awareness or intelligence.

I would’ve replied “the same could be said for every child, if their parents didn’t bother to take responsibility for them. Are you looking for a medal?”

Far too much information missing which is why I voted YABU.

Did he have any contact with his child before the mother was going to put them into care?

Did he even know he was a father previous to this, or was he contacted by SS or the child's family?

Usually when you get an OP this scant on detail - it means this single dad is probably the father of her children or an ex boyfriend

More weird that you got to this level of personal detail in a brief chat with a stranger

I have seen lots of mums of disabled kids saying the same here. If I didn’t look after my child, the government would have to pay £££ for their care, I am saving the government money etc. Though usually when defending benefits which is fair enough. I guess it is a similar logic. I can’t believe he said that though, it’s not great.

She wouldn't have existed at all if it hadn't been for him. Since he co-created her, she's his (co-)responsibility to whatever degree is necessary to ensure her safety and wellbeing, and beyond.

Up there with people 'babysitting' their own kids. Stupid thing to say.

Brilliant.

It’s fascinating seeing how some men perceive their role in child rearing.

So often I see it presented as a favour to their wife in some way, if they do anything at all.

I don’t think we need the background. I agree OP whatever the circumstances he’s a parent ffs

you should respond “I know right! If my children didn’t have at least one parent they would be in care too! Should we get some t shirts made up so everyone knows? Or do you think bumper stickers is a better idea?”

If this was a brief conversation and you have absolutely no idea of the family background or anything about what has gone before then i don't think it's your place to sit in judgement.
If you didnt like what he said then fair enough. Avoid the guy in future.

Some men will start telling you the most personal stuff with NO encouragement.

People say all sorts of things when they're exhausted and rundown which I imagine every single parents could empathise with.

Presumably you're not a single parent OP, otherwise you would have said so. Easy to eye roll when you've got someone else to share the burden of parenting with.

As will women

YANBU to not congratulate him, of course.

But it blows my mind when people are shocked that men see parenting as not their job and/or a favour to the mother.

Are you born yesterday? This has (very unfortunately) been part of our culture for millenia.

We do no one any favours to pretend it's all suddenly equal now. Imo girls should be informed about how things are - not just how things should be - when they're young, so they know what to expect.

I'm 50 and thought my generation were obviously going to get it right, parents equally committed and caring etc, well that was a load of blind hopeful thinking wasn't it?!

Ridiculous.

Like saying 'If it wasn't for parents, all children would be in state care'.

Well, yes?