AIBU to call the police about my husband's threatening friend?

[Elvine]

More of a panic post.

DH and DS5 were out at a safari today and he kept getting calls from his friend. This friend is quite a drinker and DH has distanced himself from him for the last few months. DH isn’t a saint, and before marriage and DS was a bit of a jack the lad type, drinker and out partying a lot. This stopped almost immediately after we moved in together and there’s been no signs of it since.

So the calls were coming today one after the other and DH was getting annoyed about it. I kept telling him to answer but DH said he was spending a day with his family and he didn’t want to be pressured to speak to him. Fine with me.

DH then gets a text from his brother to say this friend has turned up to his house demanding a number for drugs? DHs brother obviously annoyed and confused, told him to go away. friend then told DH brother to “go slit his wrists” and was shouting in the street. He recorded DHs brother and posted it on facebook (?)

DH friend then texts my DH telling him he’s going to beat up his brother and he wants an apology. DH says he wants nothing to do with it.

As I’m getting DS to sleep, DHs friend arrives outside in his car, starts banging on the door and shouting outside. Calling my DH a “sellout” and saying he wants to see who the “big man” is. DH refuses to go outside, tells him to go home. DH is angry at this point and tells him he’s a loser and to do something better with his Sunday night, it’s no surprise he’s got no family etc…

I managed to get DS to sleep. DH is not engaging with his friend. But he’s still parked up outside our house? What do I do? I want to call the police but DH says it will escalate the situation and he’s not going to actually do anything. But I’m scared, he’s so unhinged

Ring the police! He is a danger to you and himself. You’ve got a 5 yo in the house. Sod what your DH thinks and protect him and you. This guy sounds unhinged and needs to be taken away from your house.

With a 5y/o in the house, defo call the police.

The guy is off his rocker so I’d ring the police, he sounds dangerous and is obviously angry that your DH is no longer his bar buddy and has distanced himself.

You were out at a safari? As in African safari or safari park?

Has he done this before? Maybe a one-off breakdown/binge but if he has history if this or does it again, I would definitely speak to the police. It sounds like you need to send some kind of cease and desist letter.

I don't understand why you didn't immediately call the police.

This is harassment. Absolutely call the police. This guy has some serious substance abuse issues and needs a major wake up call. You’d be doing him a favour.

Distanced himself for at least five years, one hopes, which makes this urgent pestering of DH for a connection rather strange. The local druggy circle would surely be aware that DH had moved on some time ago.
Unless the pal has recently come out of prison. In which case….the police would be very interested in his parole situation.

He must of ran out of friends so is rattling a few cages and trying to threaten the family to get his needs met.

He’s only distanced himself for the last few months OP says.

@Elvine your H has been called a sellout, so I would assume he was deep within the druggie world until just months ago. Not sure what to suggest, your H has brought this trouble to your door.

No, DH has not been involved in drugs for years. He’s not been on a night out since well before DS was born. This friend has socialised with us both in the last few years by coming to our house and building a relationship with DS. It’s completely out the blue for him to act like this.

I think your dh is involved in something he hasn't told you about.

You need to cut ties completely now he has behaved so despicably, he is not someone you want in your home or round your child. Block his number and nip it in the bud if he ever tries to be friendly again.

I’d have called them the moment he turned up, and made sure the operator could hear him in the background.

Has he gone now?