AIBU to consider an automatic car to rebuild my driving confidence

[Aabbaas]

I’ve had a licence for 2 decades but having lived 20 years in London, I never became a confident driver (as I never had my own car). Lately I have started driving again, took a few refresher lessons and got DH to come in the car with me for small journeys around the area. I am fine really but the thought of driving my myself still feels like a daunting chore and therefore I don’t want to drive aroubd with DC yet.
Everyone around me tells me that an automatic car will make my life easier, is that the case? I don’t have issues with gears, it is mainly that I worry about cars around me but many have told me that because driving ia simplified with an automatic, it is easier to focus on the traffic instead.
DH drives a company car which is automatic but too big and I don’t want to drive it really (also not sure if I can be on the insurance). We have a small car as well which is old and manual and I am starting to think that maybe it is time to upgrade it next year and get an automatic I can drive instead. Am I being an unreasonable diva?

I'd keep driving the smaller, manual car and see how you feel after a few weeks or months of frequent, short trips.

I’ve just got my first automatic after 20 years driving manual. Same as you don’t have a problem with gears but it’s true you have one less thing to focus on. It’s really helped me.

I had no idea how enjoyable it was to drive an automatic until I got one. So smooth and speedy off the mark! Maybe that’s what you want if nervous but it can give you confidence at roundabouts and the like.

Changed to an Automatic nearly 20 years ago after 24 years of driving a manual, as said it's easier. Best advice I was given was tuck your left foot as far away from the pedals as possible.

Absolutely YANBU - 100% would recommend an auto to anyone! I qualified with a manual licence, but really struggled to gain full confidence and complete the multi-tasking that manuals require. Game changer.

They're so smooth and easy to drive. I think they're pretty much the future, too.

I will also add - I recently had a very scary experience recently where a man approached my car window, in a supermarket carpark, as I was about to set off, clearly asking for money or attempting to break in etc... with my auto, I slammed the door locks on, screamed "NO! FUCK OFF!" and sped away faster than I think I ever could in a manual. I can't begin to think how I'd panicked if I'd ended up fumbling around gears, stalling etc 😖

I’d get an automatic, if I were you OP!

We got an automatic 12 years ago, as we do a lot of motorway driving, where we can spend an hour or two stop start in a traffic jam upto a crash. It’s much less tiring with an automatic. Driving around towns is also much easier. We’ve just been on holiday with a manual hire car, and we were constantly changing gear up and down mountains. I’d never go back to one, for my own car!

I was in the same position as you. I hadn't driven for 20 years and was very nervous. My partner had an automatic and as soon as I drove it I was so confident because it was so much easier to drive than a manual. I would never go back to a manual.

I really need to start saving money then! Doesn’t make huge financial sense so change our other car tbh as it works just finw and I’d only use it occasionally (work in central London so don’t need it during the week) but I do want to be more confident! Will I need driving leasons for an automatic?
Any nice nodel to recommend? I am thinking a hybrid will be more future proof. Can’t afford luxury brands but would like something like a compact SUV or the likes.

An old aunt in my husband side had similar issue after she had a 8 months spell off road (1 month in hospital with a broken leg).

She lost confidence in driving and wanted to ease back in to it. My husband had the idea of buying her a set of roller skates (NOT blades , the traditional kind with a wheel in each corner) so she could feel the rolling sensation again. We took her to Weston Super Mare, the front there is very long, smooth and spacious. My husband tied a rope around aunt's waist and we would take turns to pull her along. Is the something that would interest you and do you live near WSM op?

I drove manual cars for 20+ years but two years ago got an automatic EV. I’d never go back to manual, even if I bought a petrol car. Such an easier drive.

Can’t afford luxury brands but would like something like a compact SUV or the likes.
I wouldn't bother with an SUV if I lived in London (or anywhere except rurally) unless you get a lot of snow in winter or muddy tracks to negotiate.

I swear 99% of cars around us are SUV! Which I also sometimes think it’s ridiculous…

I love my automatic! So much easier, would definitely recommend even if you were confident, just one less stress in life.

Could you try hiring a small automatic for a weekend first to see how you like it? For me, it’s the auto handbrake that makes the biggest difference.

I was the same as you, having lived in London for a decade, never drove there.
Throw in a DC and my anxiety was too much to drive.
My main worry was other cars too...then I realized there is not much to worry about and just focus on my own driving. I thought I needed an automatic car in order to feel better. But now months later I love shifting!
I do however get the appeal of automatic but if I were you I'd bite the bullet, plan some nice routes and just go nice and easy in your current car and your confidence will be back in no time.

Automatics are great. I can't understand why anyone would choose a manual. To me it's like having a TV without a remote control - I mean, you could ... but why would you?

However the stressful thing about driving is dealing with other traffic, rather than actually making the car go - so I doubt having an automatic would make it less stressful - only practice can do that. But it's certainly a pleasanter drive

I have a friend with anxiety who could drive a quad bike and a tractor before she learnt to drive a car. She passed, her parents got her a manual car and... she didn't drive it for AGES. When she did, it was a rare occasion.

She has since swapped the manual car for an automatic one, and tells me that automatics are easier, and she is so much happier! It has given her a new lease of life. Indeed, she now drives herself wherever she needs to go, whether it is a local shop or for a job interview further afield.

Why can't you drive your husband's car? I was always worried about big cars, but large modern automatic cars are so easy to drive as they usually have front and rear cameras.

I tried to persuade my husband to buy a small car but I am so pleased that he got his large car as it is so easy to drive.

You don't need driving lessons to drive an automatic car as long as you have had refresher lessons in your manual car, which I think you said that you had.

I’ve never driven a manual aside from the car I passed my test in and I never will again - auto all the way!

Why would it be unreasonable? Most people I know have manual licences but drive automatic cars.

I have an auto only licence and it doesn’t affect my life at all, but people love to try and criticise. But I literally can’t see anything to criticise in a manual licence holder driving an automatic.

I did this. Didn’t drive for 15 years, felt scared and had no confidence. Bought a slightly bigger auto car and never looked back. I wouldn’t hesitate.

It's definitely not a silver bullet for driving anxiety, but if you can afford it, why not give a try?

We have Toyota hybrids, they’re great. Not all hybrids are the same, Toyota lead the field in this technology. Ours are all Corolla ‘touring sports’ so not tiny, but obviously there are smaller models. We handed on one of ours to our daughter, she was dubious about automatics … until she’d driven it for about 2 minutes. One of the great things in traffic is they have absolutely perfect stop-start because the electric motor gets going instantly, you’re not either idling or having that cough as you restart. And impossible to stall, which used to be one thing I was nervous about.

I agree with you on this. I advocated years ago and still do that you should only be able to have an SUV if you take your test in one. The thought of a second driving test would be enough to ensure most people chose a smaller car.

As for an automatic car, it may be easier for you so worth considering as an option.

Auto is so much easier. I had a long break driving while in London and returned to an automatic car by chance (was given one). This year I had a period when I was borrowing an old manual and it was really hard going back to that. I found that I was really having to think about gear changes and not stalling. It was much more mentally taxing and I hated it especially for stop-start traffic. I didn’t mind it so much for faster stretches but it was awful for inner city driving. I still cracked on but I didn’t feel as confident or safe. Part of it was the age of the car (20 year old) but part of it was going back to a manual.