Workplace ‘mental health lead’ is not a nice person

[Moonbourbon]

Wondered if it’s just me, or my workplace, but our mental health lead nominated herself for the role and I really don’t think she’s the right person for the job. Could it be that taking on that kind of role attracts the wrong kind of person?

She will use any excuse in meetings to somehow mention mental health. ‘We need to remember x, y and z’ Sounds innocuous but it’s annoying and puts a downer on everything.

Nobody would want to go to her for help. She constantly tries to throw people under the bus. I’ve seen her deliberately make another already stressed woman cry by pointing out her ‘lack of confidence’. She gossips. She deliberately tries to make people feel inadequate in meetings. Of all the people in our group, she is the least helpful or collegiate.

I’m dreading the day she gets a promotion and gets to lord it over us. She’s fine with men, but it’s other women she has a problem with. I keep my distance.

I’d go as far as to say she has a personality disorder. Should these people be allowed to take on a role that involves kindness and understanding?

I agree with the suggestion there should be an interview.

Also, as I suspected, I’m not alone in thinking the role tends to attract dreadful bullies. I’m wondering if workplaces are now worse for people’s mh since mental health lead roles have proliferated. I’d love a newspaper to run a poll on this and report it in the news.

Yes, most of the time the people who are workplace 'leads' for this, that or the other have no apparent suitability for the role. They do it because it's another thing to include in their annual appraisal or on their CV.

But on the other side of the coin, it can be difficult to get volunteers for that kind of thing, and it can involve a lot of extra work to be juggled with your day job, for no extra financial reward.

Same here, mental health first aiders - one, lovely, very much ‘parent’ vibes that would absolutely signpost support and keep it confidential from gossip, since retired. Other two - utter nightmares, I’ve worked alongside both, watched them cause mental health issues in others by either being shit or just piling unreasonable work on, that I’ve then picked up and supported which says it all.

Both are crazy competitive/desperate for promotion (nothing to do with the fact they can’t do day to day jobs but that’s just me being cynical). So I think the element of the type it attracts is where the issue comes from. It attracts those who genuinely want to be a support and are the absolute right people, and then it attracts those who want to have it to talk about at the end of year review/are that utterly lacking in self awareness that they think they have a duty to help the plebs

I’d echo what’s been said by others, ignore (unless you have the better type) and instead head to hr/any external support your company provides if you want to involve work.

for what it’s worth, as a line manager, when a team member comes to me with a request for support, I mention the first aiders briefly - as in do you know they exist, just because I think they are knobs doesn’t mean everyone does. But then, I’m telling the individual im going to hr, suggesting/providing contact details for external support we have, etc. I would never send the individual to the first aiders for them to manage the help.

Not just your workplace. One person who was put forward and didnt pass the course at my place is someone who causes people so much stress and has been reported (but brushed under the table) multiple times. Who ever you mention her name to in the factory has the same reaction. They gave her a different title with regards to mental health instead and still try to send people her way. She doesnt listen with work stuff so why they think she would listen and help anyone is unreal

I was having issues and my manager said remember x and y and I laughed at him and said you think id ever go to them?

Mental Health first aid at work was the in thing for a while. It was largely nosey shirkers who volunteered as its a great excuse for courses and to dissappear off. The others were people with mental health issues of their own who wanted to help others but were too vulnerable to cope. Ive had the latter go off on long term sick due to feeling responsibility for others, its irresponsible of employers I feel.

This is the modern workplace in a nutshell, especially the public and charity sector. She's probably volunteered for the role in order to have something to put on an application for a promotion.

I'd give her a wide berth and ignore as far as possible. In meetings I used to play buzzword bingo and mentally count the idiotic phrases that pass for normal communication in the workplace. It was quite funny.

In the last place I worked the designated disability rep actively campaigned against schemes like WFH/hybrid working. She had no understanding of the issues facing disabled workers at all. Utterly clueless and obtuse. Mind you, it was a university, and they’re rarely as disability friendly as they like to pretend they are.

Sounds quite toxic, especially as she's the kind of woman who dumps on other women and sucks up to men.

The world of work is really quite psychologically unsafe and always has been. It has to be managed like walking through a minefield. I would never confide in a mental health first aider if I lived to be a million years old.

I agree with those who think that much of this is a tick box exercise and that there should be an interview for the position, even if voluntary and with no time set aside specifically for the role.

I must be fortunate in that ours is someone who I would be happy to talk to were I to need such support. Also someone who has had the experience of a member of their family with what appears from the little detail provided to have considerable mental health issues.

Firstly, a mental health lead isnt meant to be anyone's counsellor or therapist and if anyone sees it this way, they have a fundamental misunderstanding of the role to being with. They are to signpost people to the appropriate support and encourage and support them to seek help via the appropriate channels- eg their GP or accessing NHS time to talk initiatives, support groups etc

Secondly, noone is obliged to only go to the mental health lead if they wish to talk to another member of management and this should be made clear. We all know that not everyone feels comfortable with one specific person and it shouldnt be forced.

Thirdly, work places should support employees in terms of how their mental health affects their job and make reasonable adjustments accordingly but I think a lot of people seem to think employers have a some kind of therapeutic responsibility to offer employees some kind of talking therapy which is wrong. Work places are there to support you in seeking help in the right places and to make reasonable adjustments to enable you to feel comfortable at work.

They arent your "therapists" - they arent qualified for that, and I have seen this expectation quite a few times and its really, really inappropriate.

Also in agreement that these roles are mainly a tick box exercise in most firms. People would still largely prefer if people left most of their whole selves at the door.

My partner’s horrible workplace, where there is a culture of working people till they drop, nepotism, and complete managerial unaccountability, recently recruited a ‘mental health first aider’. How we laughed.

What actually is her role? I don’t think we have a mental health lead, just HR. It makes sense to me to have someone responsible for setting overall policy on mental health leave and ensuring support is available for anyone who needs it, but having a person you are actually supposed to talk to about your mental health issues seems a bit perverse. You wouldn’t have a designated person to talk to about your physical issues, you’d just have a policy with time off to get the support you need, and maybe extra breaks or extra equipment provided if you need it. Why is mental health any different?

We have an interview process to be mental health first aiders, we sign a code of conduct and we're reviewed every year.

How did she get the role? Who agreed to it?

I'm a primary school supply teacher, who has got to know quite a few schools, and staff, pretty well.
And universally, across the board, their "mental health lead" is the LAST person I'd want to talk to about anything mental health related! One of them in particular, is one of the most rude, dismissive woman I've ever met.

I didn’t know the role had been created. She nominated herself for the role and was accepted.

That's pretty concerning!