The size of my stomach dictates my mood and how my day will be

[lettuceeat]

I hate my stomach, it's big and sticks out. I'm slim with broad shoulders and no boobs, side on, my stomach is so noticeable and it ruins my day. No matter how low my weight goes, my stomach still sticks out. I've done core work, I exercise most days, run, lift weights, eat well, still got a big stomach. I can't afford surgery and wouldn't take the risk of it going wrong but honestly, it's exhausting hating my stomach. Some days it's a bit flatter and those days, I feel so much better. If I fast any eat only one meal a day, it can look so much better but I can't maintain that at all. I'm sure people will say get therapy but honestly I just want to like my stomach and feel good in clothes! Maybe if I had boobs I'd feel better, they are a 30A so literally flat as a man!

I have a jiggly round lower belly. Even when Im super toned every where else its still round and soft. I blame the kids 🤣

I eat healthy ish most of the time and exercise. Im a size 12 and short so could lose some weight but I do like eating.

I try and wear clothes to disguise it and sometimes shape wear.

You can choose your mood you know?

Choose to not let something you can’t control dictate yours!

I can't choose my mood, my stomach shows so badly that it ruins what I'm wearing. I've tried baggy clothes but they look worse. If it's windy, the wind blows my top against my stomach and highlights how bad it is.

I do positive self talk but honestly it's hard to not see how bad I look

Is it hard or soft and squishy?

You need to establish if it's excess fat or something else e.g. bloating from food intolerance. Do you poo regularly? Are you gassy?

It could also be fibroids - have you seen your GP?

Your stomach is an organ, about the size of a grapefruit or a small melon. It doesn't change size, just like your kidneys and lungs don't change size.

Your issue is with your abdomen. You can't spot reduce fat - some people are just genetically predisposed to carry excess weight in their midsection.

If you're a healthy weight, excercise correctly and have good posture, then barring medical conditions or water retention, it's not possible to be as bad as you think.
The first thing I'd do is reduce sodium, address any slow digestion through increasing fibre and drinking green tea, and see if that results in 'flatter days'. If it doesn't and you are still experiencing bigger days, then I'd ask someone to give me an honest opinion. If they agreed, then I'd schedule a GP appointment.
If they genuinely couldn't see what I was talking about, then I'd know i was over reacting to my normal bodily changes and work on feeling better about myself on those days, making sure I had clothes that didn't need a flat stomach to look good.

I’ve recently had something similar and I’ve been told it’s a nervous system response rather than a failure of diet or exercise. Mine may also be exacerbated by my uncorrected diastasis recti (never heard of that until my kid was 10 so had no idea I might want postnatal physio).

More core work doesn’t help because it’s the strong muscles bracing and forcing the organs forward. Does that resonate?

I absolutely understand how you are feeling but the reality is that you can't change what you look like. You already doing everything possible. So the only change available to you is to address how you are feeling. And this is possible with therapy.

@5128gapWhat does help if it's nervous system? I also had separation after c sections, first one healed well but the second one has left me with a bulge but it's to the bulge that's the issue it's more massive bloating regardless of what I eat. I have done nearly three days with minimal food and it's still doesn't change a thing!

A very, very, very small percentage of women have a flat stomach.

I struggled for years with body image but..I’ve put
my body through a lot and it’s still here for me. It doesn’t deserve the hate and there’s so many more important things about you as a person. You are literally the only one who cares if you have a sticky out belly. Most people have one. I sure do.

@lettuceeat my stress level impacts mine. Would it be possible to build in moments you set aside for proactive rest, like restorative yoga?

Honestly this has changed the way I look at myself and my physique, and made me wonder if I should see a women’s physio. Mine has been connected as well to low back pain. It was a friend who’s a yoga therapist who mentioned the connection and said my belly wasn’t really bloat, so maybe that could be an avenue you might try for more information?

Could it be bloating or IBS or age related weight gain around the middle?

Ive started to wear a 2x size bra which really helps. It gives me a chest which balances out my stomach. It doesnt change my stomach but it makes me feel so much better. I got them from Asda and they are really comfy and make me look so much better.